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Some help, PLEASE


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missouri babe

So is everyone else in agreement then that cheating while bein drunk is just a stupid, stupid excuse? I just think that the whole ordeal of bringing someone back to your place or going to theirs, taking off your clothes, using protection, etc. and then having sex can't occur while you're smashed outta your mind. You gotta be aware of what you're doing on some level in order to take it that far

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Your judgement is impaired quite a bit, and getting flattered while being drunk intensifies the stimulation, but that is no excuse.

 

You need to give us a little bit more of your situation for us to help you out.

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missouri babe

Here goes:

 

Committed relationship for about a year. Have talked about the future, marriage, etc. He was the one who said "I love you" first, he was the first to mention getting married and having kids. He calls me all the time, makes plans, wants me around all the time. He's definitely not a serial cheater, I'm around too much for him to do it.

 

But one night we're apart, and he has a drunken one night stand with some random girl. Out of the blue! We had talked earlier in the day, everything seemed fine. The day after the incident, we talked and made plans for the weekend! No indication of what had happened. So I don't learn about it for awhile, until I find evidence. He cries, begs forgiveness, etc.

 

I just can't believe that alcohol is an excuse here. I feel taken advantage of and disrespected. I feel like he took my good nature for granted.

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lifeisloveispain

Don't know what to tell you, hon...

 

Can you put this in the category of "one single stupid hurtful mistake that will never happen again?" How strongly do you feel about this guy? Those are the kind of questions that are going to determine what you should do, and unfortunately, nobody knows the answers to those questions but you.

 

One way to look at it is, he cheated with you and lied to you about for some length of time. Personally, I think that if this was just one of those stupid hurtful mistakes, not telling may have been the right thing to do. It wouldn't have done you or him any good, and would only have ended up hurting you (as it did).

 

Another way to look at it - it was a one-night stand with some random girl. That's better than a prolonged affair with your best friend. Not much, but it's still better.

 

But, you're right about one thing - drunk is no excuse.

 

-lifeisloveispain

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If it was just a one night and a druken mistake I dont see why he wouldnt tell you in the first place instead of you having to find out. If you relationship is as strong as you say he should be able to tell you everything. Anyway when you are drunk you still have enough sense to know what you are doing.

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