Caught in the middle? *Long*

[RandyPeter216]

This is my first time ever being on this site so excuse me if my post is out of position, but I figure anywhere I put it I'll be able to get some useful advice.

 

My problem is pretty simple, but it rolls out into a long story. See I've always had this friend that was a girl, Crystal, and she's always had strong feelings for me, but I never really felt like we were compatible. Recently a friend, Mike, (P.s. this guy was pretty much my bestfriend) of mine asked me to hook him up with her which I didn't really have a problem at the time. I figured he'd just **** her then move on, like he's done to so many girls. The day after I introduced them, and they meet they started dating. I'm not really the jealous type, but this is where I started to feel something pulling on the strings of my heart. I just considered it to be jealousy so I brushed it off and went about my life as normal, but not soon after Crystal messages me saying her and Mike broke up because she told him she still loves me. Part of me was a little relieved, but I consider myself to be a real friend so I told her that she shouldn't let her feelings for me get in the way of what they could have, and later on the night I guess they talked it out and got back together. Later on that night Mike tells me he cheated on her that night with her cousin (Which is just bros bragging to bros). It turned out this would be one of those nights where my heart felt wary, yet again. Time goes on and Mike seems to talk to me less and less so I just tell him he's acting weird towards me for no reason, and eventually later on that night it ends up with me bringing some of my other friends into the fight and we end up calling his gf a hoe (I feel like I did this to try and make myself feel better, and convince myself I haven't lost anything, but it ended up backfiring) So I didn't talk to him or Crystal for about 2 weeks, and then finally I realized I don't want to lose my friends. So I apologize to Mike, and we settled everything, and then I told him I was going to apologize to Crystal, but he told me he doesn't think it's such a good idea, and that he thinks I just shouldn't talk to her anymore because she pretty much hates me now so I didn't (Trying to appease my friend's wishes). Me and Mike are supposedly cool now, but he's still acting like he was. We would normally hang out at least 3-4 times a week, but he always tells me to come hang now then when I say I'm on my way he gives me some bull **** excuse. So it's been like 2 and a half months now and we haven't even hung out which is weird for us. So one day I actually am going past his house, and just stop by and his whole family even asks me "Why haven't you been over here?" and they all go on to ask me to stay the night, and it turns out his gf is there, and she even asks me to spend the night, but Mike interrupts saying "Nahh, he has plans. He's spending the night tomorrow" It's pretty easy for me to see he doesn't want me there so I just leave. I talk to him the next day, and confront him again like before. Only this time much more calm, and with less intent on starting a fight. I ask him why has he been being so weird around me, and not even wanting to hang with me? He tells me he would actually hang with me, but Crystal is there, and she would just start drama. I tell him that it doesn't seem like she wanted to start drama when I was there the other, she was asking me to spend the night and hang out with you guys. So finally the next day he asks me to come over. I ask is his gf there because if he wants I'll come over another day, but he tells me to just come over. So I get over there, and she's there, and it doesn't seem like anythings wrong, we're all just happy and having a good time. So me and Mike are playing some Madden when him and Crystal start talking about this girl, I say I know here, and he makes a comment about me sleeping with her, which was purposely meant to offend me so I kind of get heated. He's just insulting me, and trying to make me look bad for no reason, I mean he already has the girl, but he keeps laying into me, and I just feel like he's trying to get closer to her by pulling her farther from me. So instead of arguing, or fighting I just leave because it seems pretty obvious to me that Mike doesn't want to be friends anymore.

 

When I get on facebook the next day I check my messages, and notice that Crystal has added me again on facebook (which is just weird to me considering me and my her bf just had a pretty big falling out)

 

My problem lies here. I really feel like she still likes me, I mean this girl has liked me for the past 7 years, and this is the only time we've ever done anything close to fight, and lately I really feel like I like her, and I kind of want to give her a chance, but, even though me and Mike aren't really friends anymore, I don't want to try and break them up and look like the bad guy. I just wish she could see him in his true light. So should I tell her how I feel, and tell her I really want to be friends, or is this all just jealousy playing tricks on my heart?

 

 

Any advice would be great guys, and thanks for taking the time to read this long piece of garbage xD

There's a lot more to the story, but I had to dilute it or it'd just be too much.

[CautionaryTale]

So let me get this straight... Please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

- You have a gal pal who has always had feelings for you, but you never felt the same.

 

- You have a buddy who *YOU THINK* just wants to F*** her and dump her.

 

- You're ok with that until you find out he ACTUALLY cares about her and NOW you're jealous.

 

- Gal pal breaks up with Mike and tells you, you convince her to give it another go with him

 

- Mike cheats on this Gal Pal. You don't seem to care about that.

 

- You refer to Gal Pal as a "Hoe" because it "Makes you feel better"

 

Poor, poor gal pal, she needs new friends and a new boyfriend. You don't seem to care about this "Girl friend" of yours at all. You and your buddy have both treated her like garbage.

 

So my advice to you would be to work on your friendship with Mike, who I can only hope will break up with this girl. You guys can continue being "Bro's" doing what you do, and this girl can hopefully find a new group of friends.

[RandyPeter216]

You're taking things at face value, I never knew how I felt. I have a hard time with emotion because of a strong social anxiety disorder. There was a time when I really was into her, and we were basically dating, though it was never said, but things kind of fell apart after she slept with my cousin (which I decided to excluded from all of this because that's in a totally different part of my life)

 

My friends never cared about her. He's just putting on an act.

 

It's honestly killing me inside to see her go through this, but as stupid as it sounds there is some what of a "Guy code" and with that being said I'm not in there relationship so if he cheats I can't say anything.

 

You may be right though, that's why I'm asking.

 

Thanks for your opinion.

[czen]

I think it's all just jealousy. That you're starting to get feelings for her because she has someone else now, and you don't want to lose her as ego validation.

 

Why didn't you see her as a romantic partner to begin with? You must have had your reasons for that. What has changed since then? Don't let your feelings cloud your logic too much. If nothing has changed, and you didn't think you were compatible then, then why do you think that now?