"seeing" someone after dumping me

[mlcj69]

She dumped me after meeting 2.5 years ago. we were in love. slowly fizzled. i fell in love again, she continued slowly fizzling i guess. Long Distance. I understand LDR are extremely difficult, but seeing how we have such a good time together, she should look past that :/

 

I understand we are broken up and she is allowed to do what she wants, but it doesnt seem right as she doesnt know what she wants

 

1) stay with me and deal with the pain of not being together all the time

2) no relationship at all so there is no stress

3) relationship with this dude or anyone else.

 

She has hung out with this dude that REALLY likes her 4 times in the past week since she broke up with me. She SAYS its just a friendly hang out and nothing is happening. And im sure eventually will lead to something more if she keeps it up like this But tells me she wants to stay friends and maybe she will change her mind about us. Obviously she is stringing me along to see where it goes with this guy and if she really has an emotional attachment with this guy.

 

I cant accept her back if anything happens with this guy. She says nothing will but how can i really believe her. Like i want to trust her, but i know i shouldnt :/

 

to me it isnt right hanging out with someone that likes her and her even telling me "he might be someone i want to date" and also saying she wouldnt date anyone for a while. even me i guess? Hes really using him as a rebound right now and seeing what hes like and stringing me along to see where things go.

 

ive tried no contact and getting her out of my life, but she just gets mad saying that i would throw away our friendship like that. if we had such a good friendship, look past not "seeing me in a romantic way anymore" and try to remember what its like actually being together. To me i just think she forgot what its really like to be close and lost that feeling for me since our last visit wasnt too great. The visit before last was best because thats when we really got close.

 

what do you think i should tell her? :/ I want her to come back to me right now and wait til our next visit to see how she really feels about me again. Ive told her but just didnt want to listen.

[GSB81]

When I went through this crap I told her I don't remain friends with exes, and I didn't want her as a friend due to all the fights leading up to and during the breakup. It's real easy for them to say they want to be friends after breaking your heart because it doesn't hurt them. They are fine with it. Remaining friends with an ex will screw up future relationships and put you in a painful position of seeing just how quickly she moves on. I would go no contact.

[Darren Steez]

She dumped me after meeting 2.5 years ago. we were in love. slowly fizzled. i fell in love again, she continued slowly fizzling i guess. Long Distance. I understand LDR are extremely difficult, but seeing how we have such a good time together, she should look past that :/

 

I understand we are broken up and she is allowed to do what she wants, but it doesnt seem right as she doesnt know what she wants

 

1) stay with me and deal with the pain of not being together all the time

2) no relationship at all so there is no stress

3) relationship with this dude or anyone else.

 

She has hung out with this dude that REALLY likes her 4 times in the past week since she broke up with me. She SAYS its just a friendly hang out and nothing is happening. And im sure eventually will lead to something more if she keeps it up like this But tells me she wants to stay friends and maybe she will change her mind about us. Obviously she is stringing me along to see where it goes with this guy and if she really has an emotional attachment with this guy.

 

I cant accept her back if anything happens with this guy. She says nothing will but how can i really believe her. Like i want to trust her, but i know i shouldnt :/

 

to me it isnt right hanging out with someone that likes her and her even telling me "he might be someone i want to date" and also saying she wouldnt date anyone for a while. even me i guess? Hes really using him as a rebound right now and seeing what hes like and stringing me along to see where things go.

 

ive tried no contact and getting her out of my life, but she just gets mad saying that i would throw away our friendship like that. if we had such a good friendship, look past not "seeing me in a romantic way anymore" and try to remember what its like actually being together. To me i just think she forgot what its really like to be close and lost that feeling for me since our last visit wasnt too great. The visit before last was best because thats when we really got close.

 

what do you think i should tell her? :/ I want her to come back to me right now and wait til our next visit to see how she really feels about me again. Ive told her but just didnt want to listen.

If you accept BS then you get treated like BS. She is not your friend. Friends don't hang with out other guy four times a week...heck do you hang out with your friends four times a week? She got you and she's got this other dude and she feeds you a bit of bull about throwing away a friendship. People should respect each other not game play. Don't really see this working out.

[loversquarrel]

First of all, LDR's suck, I personally have no use for them and think they are just a bad idea - just my .02 (had to get it off my chest).

 

The line about "just" being friends with this other guy is nothing but a big pile of stink. She is just stringing you along surveying her options...better get used to it if you stick around.

 

I also half wonder if this is some manipulation tactic to make you worry and move closer to her. You mentioned it as #1 on the list, (her telling you it hurts her to not be with you all the time). It's a s!@tty tactic, but this has been going on for 2.5 yrs.? There's no natural progression so you could be facing a "S!@t or get off the pot" scenario.