You must ignore at all costs!

[ChatroomHero]

2. No, they just peck away at a guy on who they'd decide if they like, and then pretend there's no guys looking for them.

 

And I feel like I'm put into this hive full of other guys that "JUST WANNA ****!" SIMPLY because I would like some once in a while. Actually, if you looked in the sex forum I basically said that wasn't even really so much of what I wanted. But because I lust, I am judged.

 

This says a lot. You put women in a hive full of other women and are complaining women put you in a hive full of other men. Do you see the hypocrisy?

 

You see yourself as an individual not defined by other men, how is it fair or even rational to not view a woman in the same way, as an individual not defined by other women?

[Fatdrifter]

This says a lot. You put women in a hive full of other women and are complaining women put you in a hive full of other men. Do you see the hypocrisy?

 

You see yourself as an individual not defined by other men, how is it fair or even rational to not view a woman in the same way, as an individual not defined by other women?

 

Since when did I ever say anything like that about women? By stating there's an over-cautionary approach to basic socializing they seem to follow? By saying what they do and how they do it with guys they don't take a bunch of interest?

 

Even I am beginning to get cloudy on what you're saying.

 

I love women. I just don't love this feeling I have to be "everything". I'm me; ...........a whole ****load of work.

Edited February 18, 2013 by Fatdrifter

[ChatroomHero]

Since when did I ever say anything like that about women? By stating there's an over-cautionary approach to basic socializing they seem to follow? By saying what they do and how they do it with guys they don't take a bunch of interest?

 

Even I am beginning to get cloudy on what you're saying.

 

I love women but it really gets easy to hate the way I feel treated.

 

It's all over your posts, you are generalizing women on everything. Every time you write, "they" you are generalizing. But then you complained that they generalize you and put you in a 'hive with all other men as just wanting sex'.

 

"I love women but it really gets easy to hate the way I feel treated."

 

-Look all I am saying is I know it is frustrating to get left in limbo by "fake interest" to get rid of you, but when you approach a woman that is one of the possible outcomes you sign up for. It's a tough game so get grow thick skin and move forward.

[Fatdrifter]

It's all over your posts, you are generalizing women on everything. Every time you write, "they" you are generalizing. But then you complained that they generalize you and put you in a 'hive with all other men as just wanting sex'.

 

"I love women but it really gets easy to hate the way I feel treated."

 

-Look all I am saying is I know it is frustrating to get left in limbo by "fake interest" to get rid of you, but when you approach a woman that is one of the possible outcomes you sign up for. It's a tough game so get grow thick skin and move forward.

 

I guess the thing is........how can you differentiate between it being an actual issue with you.......or an issue with them?

 

on a realistic scale, I have had a pitiful run of the whole dating gamut.

 

But then again, I hear people talking about what a great person I am, how I'm handsome, how I'm this, how I'm that.........And after a while, I'm just not seeing it. At all. I'm just a whacko who posts on forums and has a whole list of pipedreams living a sexless life. I keep hearing from say, the exchange student from Brazil (I've met one.......two....well, anyhow) how "life is so much different and better!" or from people out west "ya gotta get out of jersey, it's so much better in insert one of the 50 states here" (I've had a few jersey converts I've remained in contact with).

 

But hearing you're great and not knowing what can be fixed......well that's the worst torture you can imagine. Especially with my particular insecurities. Skin's tough enough, finding the answers I need tho.........that'll break things down.

 

For the record, I don't see them as being categorized like I am. I don't see anything particularly wrong with being selective, and I'm sure others wouldn't really either, but insisting that because a guy has something between his legs means he wants to run wild? That's.........well that's making us as simple as single celled organisms.

Edited February 18, 2013 by Fatdrifter

[ScreamingTrees]

Wow dude. The girl was being polite by accepting your number and not outright shutting you down. If she was interested, shed have given you hers. And why are you facebook stalking her anyways. And why does it bother you that shes already seeing someone? Chill broski.

 

I could have easily said "heres my number...call me if your situation changes". But I didnt. Basically, unless a girl puts some sort of foot forward to show she wants you to stay in contact with you....simply take their behavior as being polite, and bow out gracefully.

 

Well, can you blame the guy for trying? What this post basically tells me is that unless a girl shows initiative (thought it was the general consensus that the guy is to be the aggressive, "masculine" one) he might as well assume that her lack of initiative is a lack of interest.

 

In that case, guys like Mr. Jersey "Tampon" Telephone-Tough guy and myself should just adopt some cats and be happy that we're not starving in some ****-hole in the middle of nowhere. Some guys would never find a girl taking the initiative if they didn't, so what else are we to do? I've never approached a girl in my life.

 

I might've been bolder when I was younger, and what do you know, they brutally rejected me. If that type of behavior is what my childhood crushes' older college-bound counterparts are going to pull with me, I agree with you, I'd rather not be "aggressor" and waste my time facing a more subtle, nuanced form of the same old painful childhood rejections.. Only instead of being direct in their cruelty, they'll flake out and ignore "it" until "it" goes away. I'm not going to give anyone that chance.

 

I'd rather just be myself and wait for the girl who "chooses" me and see if there's mutual attraction/compatibility. Thing is, that will never happen, if the past is a good indicator of the future.

[Fatdrifter]

Well, can you blame the guy for trying? What this post basically tells me is that unless a girl shows initiative (thought it was the general consensus that the guy is to be the aggressive, "masculine" one) he might as well assume that her lack of initiative is a lack of interest.

 

In that case, guys like Mr. Jersey "Tampon" Telephone-Tough guy and myself should just adopt some cats and be happy that we're not starving in some ****-hole in the middle of nowhere. Some guys would never find a girl taking the initiative if they didn't, so what else are we to do? I've never approached a girl in my life.

 

I might've been bolder when I was younger, and what do you know, they brutally rejected me. If that type of behavior is what my childhood crushes' older college-bound counterparts are going to pull with me, I agree with you, I'd rather not be "aggressor" and waste my time facing a more subtle, nuanced form of the same old painful childhood rejections.. Only instead of being direct in their cruelty, they'll flake out and ignore "it" until "it" goes away. I'm not going to give anyone that chance.

 

I'd rather just be myself and wait for the girl who "chooses" me and see if there's mutual attraction/compatibility. Thing is, that will never happen, if the past is a good indicator of the future.

 

Hey, let's not bring tampax into this; I'm merely saying throughout this thread that it becomes difficult to "join the game" if the players on the receiving end don't let you know if you're gonna score..........or something stupid to that effect. I want to break the cycle of my issues.

 

Everyone talks about our animistic side and "letting out the alpha"; well, I'll tell you why animals score. They have the clearest set of rules, because the easiest way to tell whether or not you'll survive or die is whether or not you followed the rules. An animal that is not following the rules in it's group will get a harsh correction, probably a demotion to the end of the pack, and then get to correct itself and see about going further.

 

In humans, it's quite easy to let a whacko run around because "hey, if he's not bothering me, well, what should I care? My hands have been cleaned".

 

At my age, considering my time left, I have a considerable amount of catching up I'll need to do to make this whole ball of wax work out.

[ScreamingTrees]

Hey, let's not bring tampax into this; I'm merely saying throughout this thread that it becomes difficult to "join the game" if the players on the receiving end don't let you know if you're gonna score..........or something stupid to that effect. I want to break the cycle of my issues.

 

Everyone talks about our animistic side and "letting out the alpha"; well, I'll tell you why animals score. They have the clearest set of rules, because the easiest way to tell whether or not you'll survive or die is whether or not you followed the rules. An animal that is not following the rules in it's group will get a harsh correction, probably a demotion to the end of the pack, and then get to correct itself and see about going further.

 

In humans, it's quite easy to let a whacko run around because "hey, if he's not bothering me, well, what should I care? My hands have been cleaned".

 

At my age, considering my time left, I have a considerable amount of catching up I'll need to do to make this whole ball of wax work out.

 

Not really sure I follow. I don't think you described your problem in the best of ways.. There are plenty of animals that live alone and only interact with other animals when they're fighting with or against them to take or protect food, or their mate. I don't see how following any set of orders plays into their survival, rather than their strength and will power to survive.

[FitChick]

To avoid the drama, I say, "Sorry, I'm not available." They really can't say anything after that. Also, it helps to be a very fast walker.

[Fatdrifter]

Not really sure I follow. I don't think you described your problem in the best of ways.. There are plenty of animals that live alone and only interact with other animals when they're fighting with or against them to take or protect food, or their mate. I don't see how following any set of orders plays into their survival, rather than their strength and will power to survive.

 

there's survival as in how long they live, and then there's survival as in their ability to forward their genetic code. Because they can do whatever they want in real life, but what they are putting at risk by acting how they do in "the pack" is their own ability to procreate.

 

To avoid the drama, I say, "Sorry, I'm not available." They really can't say anything after that. Also, it helps to be a very fast walker.

and that happens to be admirable.

[ScreamingTrees]

there's survival as in how long they live, and then there's survival as in their ability to forward their genetic code. Because they can do whatever they want in real life, but what they are putting at risk by acting how they do in "the pack" is their own ability to procreate.

 

Well, if an animal has survived for years and can get what it wants when it wants through force or communication, I don't see why the females wouldn't be attracted to the lone wolf who's self sufficient.. I guess the pack has the number advantage, but.. I'm not trying to derail this thread with random nonsense, let me just shut up while I'm ahead, man.. lol

[Fatdrifter]

LOL what?

 

I'm a guy. I have plenty of guy friends. None of us talk like that.

 

It sounds like the guys you work with are just really stupid.

 

I've been working at a tire distribution warehouse for the last two years as a "biller". It can do a number on your sanity to see how people are just ****ing all the time, acting stupid, and prettymuch getting rewarded it for it.

 

Meanwhile, I'm attempting to stay smart, and here I am at nearing 4AM watching an infomercial basically saying by the time I start getting laid I'll be suffering from limp**** within a few years anyhow. Moral of my story? Even when you win you lose.

 

Well, if an animal has survived for years and can get what it wants when it wants through force or communication, I don't see why the females wouldn't be attracted to the lone wolf who's self sufficient.. I guess the pack has the number advantage, but.. I'm not trying to derail this thread with random nonsense, let me just shut up while I'm ahead, man.. lol

 

quite honestly, I love when threads get derailed, on other forums I have done it and ppl come back and were like "soooo this thread was pretty good until WTF WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FIFTEEN PAGES!?"

 

Lone wolf tho implies dysfunction. In other words, just because he's able to support on his own doesn't mean he'll have any actual relations being because he's been lone wolf.

Actually, in wild, I would think after a certain length of self-sufficiency acting against the will of the pack, I would think at some point he would be destroyed by his own breed simply because he demonstrates that he won't stop until someone has to.

Edited February 18, 2013 by Fatdrifter

[ScreamingTrees]

I've been working at a tire distribution warehouse for the last two years as a "biller". It can do a number on your sanity to see how people are just ****ing all the time, acting stupid, and prettymuch getting rewarded it for it.

 

Meanwhile, I'm attempting to stay smart, and here I am at nearing 4AM watching an infomercial basically saying by the time I start getting laid I'll be suffering from limp**** within a few years anyhow. Moral of my story? Even when you win you lose.

 

 

 

quite honestly, I love when threads get derailed, on other forums I have done it and ppl come back and were like "soooo this thread was pretty good until WTF WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FIFTEEN PAGES!?"

 

Lone wolf tho implies dysfunction. In other words, just because he's able to support on his own doesn't mean he'll have any actual relations being because he's been lone wolf.

Actually, in wild, I would think after a certain length of self-sufficiency acting against the will of the pack, I would think at some point he would be destroyed by his own breed simply because he demonstrates that he won't stop until someone has to.

 

I guess, but that's only if being a loner goes against the nature of that animal.. Which I guess for many animals it isn't natural to be anti-social and completely self sufficient as a natural defense mechanism, considering it's much harder to be self sufficient, but all living things are constantly evolving, so I don't see why it would be a problem if that animal is able to stay alive.

 

There are many other factors/variables to consider, and I'm probably talking out of my ass anyway, it's 4 in the morning and I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.

[Fatdrifter]

OP, you need to learn how to take rejection.

 

The vast majority of your experiences with women WILL be rejections. Any guy that is good with women gets rejected tons. TONS! He just realizes that it doesn't matter much and it's the nature of the game.

 

I've had a lot of success with women in my life. I've literally cold approached thousands (which doesn't even count for the women I met through friends, school, work, etc.).

 

A general rule for me, on any given night, is that I shoot for 10-20 approaches (depending on the venue). That will usually lead to 3 makeouts/numbers and 1 follow-up (date, sex, etc.).

 

As you can see, I get rejected FAR more than not. All guys do. And anyone that says they don't either don't approach, only approach when they know they will not be rejected, or are lying.

 

Props to you for at least getting out of your comfort zone.

 

Next time, analyze WHY you are getting these responses. It is you, not them, that needs to fix something.

 

Keep approaching and keep trying to improve yourself.

 

idk man........about me.....reasonably high anxiety, bad sexual background where fetishism was "natural" rather than regular, approach anxiety because like screamingtrees mentioned I may as well have gotten battered early on in life for being myself? I mean I am just brushing over the surface of all this and the one thing I know how to do is just go SMH and walk away.

 

Then factor in the girls I used to date were by and large ****teases to the max?

I guess, but that's only if being a loner goes against the nature of that animal.. Which I guess for many animals it isn't natural to be anti-social and completely self sufficient as a natural defense mechanism, considering it's much harder to be self sufficient, but all living things are constantly evolving, so I don't see why it would be a problem if that animal is able to stay alive.

 

There are many other factors/variables to consider, and I'm probably talking out of my ass anyway, it's 4 in the morning and I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.

 

weakling! lol. look, I'm sure you might've accomplished a fair amount in life like I have. But ppl look past that, because you are self-sufficient, but you aren't able to provide for the rest of the pack; which to the pack means you're A: stealing, and B: leaching off the rest of the pack which will eventually destroy them.

Edited February 18, 2013 by Fatdrifter

[Fatdrifter]

Everybody has a backstory, man. I know guys that had it worse than you growing up that are successful with women and have the right attitude. They CHOSE to not let their past affect their future.

 

You can either stay the same or get better. It's your choice.

 

Yea, people have gotten it worse than me and I know it; but this thread is about me, not about other people; feel me?

 

 

FTR I LOVE when someone just tells redundancy advice to the tune of "DUDE! THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS......." so I start explaining things, to which I get a duplicate of the exact statement.

 

Bro, I know I can ****ing change or get better. I've stated here before, the desire is in the fact that I've made (what some people would consider a rant) the thread to try and go about it.

 

Look at all my other threads; you can't deny I haven't been trying.

 

But I have no basis; I have no experience in fixing the matter other than in participating in these events. And now meeting new people has hit a dead end.

[eduardo23]

This is why some girls just stay really nice and fade out.

 

The last guy i blatantly told "Im not interested" went ballistic, as you just did. We could be nice or straight forward, but you have to learn how to take rejection.

 

Not exactly the same situation... but one time someone was trying to get me to sign up for a credit card or something walked right up to me and shoved a paper in front of me and I waved no and said "No thank you" and kept on walking. I heard the guy say under his breath "****er" or something like that. I turned around and gave him the dirtiest cut eye and just kept on walking. From that point on I never even acknowledge people trying to get me to sign up for their crap.

 

More on topic.. does it matter if they reject you 'truthfully' and upfront? Why would that make you feel better? Who cares. Move on and ask the next girl out.