Jadzia4831 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Me and this guy have been seeing eachother for about a month and I have feelings for him. But we are not actually together or a couple. But we act like we are.. Well a guy that I used to have a thing with works with me and asked if we could hang out. He has a gf and he knew about the guy I was seeing. So I talked to the guy I was seeing to make sure it was okay. He reluctantly agreed but was not happy about it and made me promise nothing would happen. I did. Me and this other guy hung out and he kissed me. I kissed him back. Is that cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Yes. Your bf or whatever he is knew it was a bad idea, you did it anyway. You promised nothing would happen and it did. You really can't put this together for yourself? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Me and this guy have been seeing eachother for about a month and I have feelings for him. But we are not actually together or a couple. But we act like we are.. Well a guy that I used to have a thing with works with me and asked if we could hang out. He has a gf and he knew about the guy I was seeing. So I talked to the guy I was seeing to make sure it was okay. He reluctantly agreed but was not happy about it and made me promise nothing would happen. I did. Me and this other guy hung out and he kissed me. I kissed him back. Is that cheating? You don't see all kinds of wrong there? Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Switch around the roles of you and your BF. Then answer the question yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Cheating: when two people agree not to do anything sexual with other people you promised you wouldnt do anything, yet you made out with that guy. Then you post on a forum with the question: is it cheating? what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Me and this guy have been seeing eachother for about a month and I have feelings for him. But we are not actually together or a couple. But we act like we are.. Well a guy that I used to have a thing with works with me and asked if we could hang out. He has a gf and he knew about the guy I was seeing. So I talked to the guy I was seeing to make sure it was okay. He reluctantly agreed but was not happy about it and made me promise nothing would happen. I did. Me and this other guy hung out and he kissed me. I kissed him back. Is that cheating? Its not cheating, but if you ever wanted something with the other guy, that sure wasn't the way to go about it. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Its not cheating, but if you ever wanted something with the other guy, that sure wasn't the way to go about it. It's cheating, dude.... OP, it's cheating. Don't let anyone help you feel better about yourself and in denial by making sound like it was okay or that it wasn't cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 IMO, by the LS definition of 'cheating', you're not deceiving the man you're seeing and he apparently is disclosed as to the extent of your interactions and tacitly agrees to them, reluctantly, in addition to you and he not being exclusive, so you're not 'cheating'. What the other man is doing is unknown, since you/we have no way of knowing the dynamics of his relationship. Would it be OK with you if the man you're seeing were engaging in similar acts with other women? Does he? How old are you? Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Its not cheating, but if you ever wanted something with the other guy, that sure wasn't the way to go about it. When she promised not to do anything and kisses the guy she cheated.... plain and simple; She shouldn't make that promisses if she wasn't ready. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 OP, could you clarify something.....what exactly did you disclose to the man you are seeing that he reluctantly agreed to? As an example, if you said you were thinking of going to go out on a date with another man, and he agreed, then normal dating behavior, as between yourselves, applies. Men and women touch each other on dates, kiss on dates, etc, etc. What boundaries did you set? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 It's cheating, dude.... OP, it's cheating. Don't let anyone help you feel better about yourself and in denial by making sound like it was okay or that it wasn't cheating. Well she said they weren't a couple or "together", whatever that means. Either way the other guy is being disrespected. But if he allows it, thats on him I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 When she promised not to do anything and kisses the guy she cheated.... plain and simple; She shouldn't make that promisses if she wasn't ready. Ah, ok, kind of missed the part about her promising nothing would happen. Ok, its cheating Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 The relationship is still new and there really isn't any commitment or exclusivity here, so it would be difficult to label this as cheating. That being said, he placed trust in you, and you agreed that nothing would happen. You broke the trust by letting something happen, and if you don't let him know it would be considered lying by omission. Link to post Share on other sites
uni-versal Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 IMO, by the LS definition of 'cheating', you're not deceiving the man you're seeing and he apparently is disclosed as to the extent of your interactions and tacitly agrees to them, reluctantly, in addition to you and he not being exclusive, so you're not 'cheating'. What the other man is doing is unknown, since you/we have no way of knowing the dynamics of his relationship. Would it be OK with you if the man you're seeing were engaging in similar acts with other women? Does he? How old are you? Welcome to LS I'm pretty sure he didn't agree to them kissing - he agreed to them NOT DOING ANYTHING. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 The OP would have to describe what 'not doing anything' means. She did mention that she promised 'nothing would happen'. To her, or him, kissing during a date (hanging out by the younger generation's terms of interaction) may be 'nothing'. It may be 'everything'. That's unknown. Regardless, they're not a 'couple', so there is no expectation of sexual or romantic fidelity, hence no basis for 'cheating'. Inappropriate? Perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
uni-versal Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 The OP would have to describe what 'not doing anything' means. She did mention that she promised 'nothing would happen'. To her, or him, kissing during a date (hanging out by the younger generation's terms of interaction) may be 'nothing'. It may be 'everything'. That's unknown. Regardless, they're not a 'couple', so there is no expectation of sexual or romantic fidelity, hence no basis for 'cheating'. Inappropriate? Perhaps. if someone i had been hooking up with told me they were going to see another guy but nothing would happen, i would assume that meant no kissing. think about it, kissing is one of the most passionate things we do to show our love. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 You have now become a cheater and have had your first affair. At this point you can make changes in yourself or you will keep on cheating. I vote for keep on cheating because you know what you did was cheating but came here looking for us to say you did not so you would not feel guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I'm pretty sure he didn't agree to them kissing - he agreed to them NOT DOING ANYTHING. is op a he? because gay relationships are very different (most casus) then hetro relationships. still cheating! but very different lifestyles. Link to post Share on other sites
uni-versal Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 You have now become a cheater and have had your first affair. At this point you can make changes in yourself or you will keep on cheating. I vote for keep on cheating because you know what you did was cheating but came here looking for us to say you did not so you would not feel guilty. Wait.. are you seriously encouraging that she continue to cheat? is op a he? because gay relationships are very different (most casus) then hetro relationships. still cheating! but very different lifestyles. no, the OP is a she, when i said HE i was referring to the guy she cheated on. HE agreed that she see this other guy as long as NOTHING HAPPENED Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 OP, if I was the guy youre seeing, youd never have a chance to be my gf. Not only did you lie to me and kiss another guy, you showed you werent that into me by running after some other dude. And the icing on the cake is that you were a willing participant in someones elses cheating. A girl who knowingly and carelessly hooks up with guys who have gfs, is a girl who would never be my gf. It shows you condone cheating, and I dont like girls who cheat or see no issue helping others cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Wait.. are you seriously encouraging that she continue to cheat? A little sarcasm, mixed in with reality. She has shown no remorse. She has only come to LS to hear justifications for what she did to not feel guilty. It is apparent that she is not going to change her ways. With that being the case then she should damn the torpedos, full speed ahead into her next affair. Link to post Share on other sites
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