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Is he stringing me along, or should I wait? What's his deal???


blue_eyes18

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Hey! This guy I dated for about a month recently called it quits. Well, I didn't call him or anything, and then he comes knocking on my door. He grabbed me, and said he didn't want to break up. I ignored him for a minute, then all the sudden he said he wanted to be friends, that he isn't able to have a girlfriend. He said he likes me so much ,and we agredd we totally clicked. He said I am the smartest , or one of the smartest girls he has ever met, and I am so pretty he said. I asked him if he likes me that much then why doesn't he want to be together. I know that he is going to a clinic for about another month or so, but I know that isn't all. A few days ago, he said one reason is because he didn't want to stress me out more than I already am by not being t he boyfriend I need. But today after he showed up again, he was saying we needs to be friends. It went from that to"Lets not talk anymore for a little while if you can't b e friends". He sounded like he was just gonna cry. The main reason I am so upset, is that we both felt this connection as they call it, we have so much in common, and just all kinds of things. I am not saying that he doesn't care about me, but WHY won't he commit, and why does he just want to hang out and be friends if he feels so strongly about me? Does it sound like a big excuse or something he is trying to play with me about, or should I wait and hopefully things will work out?

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Sorry -- it's too bad. He's confused due to a combination of immaturity and emotional problems. You like him, he likes you, but nothing can come of it if he won't commit. It's just like you said.

 

At this point, I think you should tell him you aren't going to say you won't ever talk again, but you're not going to accept friendship in place of something more (bf / gf). If he ever gets serious about that, he can come round to see if you're still interested.

 

Meanwhile, pursue other guys and don't count on him. You've already seen that you can't.

 

-- uriel

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Thanx Uriel,

 

I have had a few days to think about it, and you are right. I will not blame myself and doing exactly what he wants. He acted like he wanted to spend all this time with me at first, to get me hooked, I guess. Well, he can get hooked on something else I guess cause it is drivin me nuts!

 

Really though, he came over yesterday saying he wanted me back. He wants me to be there for him when he wants me to be. I know he likes me, but he is too messed up right now to deal with being responsible and actually dealing with someone else right now. I guess cuz he is a recovering drug addict. ????

 

I have never in my life!!

 

Anyways, thanks for your down to earth advice!

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