......??

[thefooloftheyear]

If you read the sad stories on this site, it will lead you to believe that there is never any hope that someone gets back together with their ex...Go NC and kiss it all goodbye. Grieve and move on, blah, blah...

 

Yet, you then read all kinds of other stories where people got dumped because the other person got back together with their ex??

 

Huh??

 

TFOY

[CautionaryTale]

After having read many threads, and having encouraged NC, having used NC and having not followed that route, here's what I think.

 

I would encourage someone to never give up on someone who really loved them, was good to them and had received the same in the relationship. I believe there are things and people who are really worth fighting for. I've fought really hard to keep different relationships going through the years. I've let some go. I regret not fighting harder for some, and I regret the time, energy and emotions put into others.

 

I would never encourage a person to fight to keep someone who has done nothing but hurt them in the past. Small amounts of good times be damned. When people are hurting and missing someone they tend to focus only on those good times. I did and I really, really wished I had been strong enough, smart enough to have walked away. Saved myself all the heartache. It wasn't worth it.

 

I would never tell someone who has quite obviously really hurt someone and made their lives pretty miserable to continue pushing themselves on their ex. In those cases if the person wants to give someone another chance they will go to them. Based on my own experiences, that's not a good idea, but at least it's their choice and not based on guilt or just because they're lonely.

 

Due to the nature of this board, you don't <Often> hear of any other types.

[H3Drvr]

What I've learned on these forums and in real life...you go NC and ignore the breadcrumbs.

 

If your ex comes running back professing their love to you then obviously you should consider it. I'm using NC to let the emotional turmoil die down and learn how to cope with the death of a relationship.

 

This forum has helped me recognize the difference between a breadcrumb and a whole loaf of bread. So if the opportunity ever materializes then I will be better prepared to handle the situation.