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The worst trip I have never taken

nonamegonda

By nonamegonda,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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nonamegonda

nonamegonda

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Posted (edited)

I want to say thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I really appreciate it.

 

 

I met this girl and we got closer over the months and when she was on her ‘break’ with her boyfriend we hooked up (she saw it as they had broken up since all they did was fight and stopped talking for over a month… he didn’t think it was a breakup). She told me she told him everything about us hooking up (physically but not all the way) but it never officially ended between them. She promised though she would break it off with him officially. It has been over a month and this still hasn’t happened yet. They run in the same group and see each other all the time while I live in a different city. She says they no longer act like a couple at all and are just friends.

 

The problem: she told me she was going on a ski trip with her family. Two days into the trip I see her boyfriend tagged there as well. Her father tagged them together on facebook and I saw… shortly after she messages to talk to me (acting normal) just after the tag went up... it seemed like good timing… I talk to her about it and she said her father invited him without consulting her. Seeing as how they never broke up officially I guess the father did not know. She didn’t tell me the day she found out he was coming along because she said was commuting all the way back home from college and was exhausted. This is hard to believe because during that day we were texting each other throughout until the very moment she went to bed…. She also said she did message me about it later on but I never got that message.. I guess facebook can fail when sending messages but this has NEVER happened where I missed her messages. And she never followed up as to why I didn’t respond to it (seeing as how I couldn't as I didn't get it).

 

 

He went back home to her family house and spent the night there before the trip. They slept in the same room but in different beds. Likewise, after the trip he came back to her hometown first before going home and did the same thing. He was supposed to leave today, but apparently they got the wrong ticket and he has to spend another night there again before he can catch the next train out.

 

She maintains it is completely platonic and she will break up with him. However, even with all this time spent together she hasn’t done so. This whole trip thing started Thursday (vday) when he spent the night at her place and now it is almost Tuesday (her bday) and still nothing has changed and hes still there.

 

I really like her but what do I do? It has been 3 months since we hooked up.

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Bryanp

Bryanp

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If you believe her story then I have a bridge to sell you.

 

Please remember this saying because it is quite applicable to your situation:

 

If they will cheat with you then they will cheat on you.

 

If the roles were reversed would she accept such a ridiculous story from you? She is keeping both of you on a string. It is called being a cake eater. Time to move on. Good luck.

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nonamegonda

nonamegonda

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If you believe her story then I have a bridge to sell you.

 

Please remember this saying because it is quite applicable to your situation:

 

If they will cheat with you then they will cheat on you.

 

If the roles were reversed would she accept such a ridiculous story from you? She is keeping both of you on a string. It is called being a cake eater. Time to move on. Good luck.

 

I feel that she is different and is truly a passive person that can't break it off. Is there really no other explanation?

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CC12

CC12

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I'm a little unsure of the nature of your relationship with this girl. You guys hooked up (once?) three months ago. Has there been more than that? I mean, do you guys act like boyfriend/girlfriend with each other? How often do you see each other? Are you sure she doesn't just see you as a friend?

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nonamegonda

nonamegonda

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I'm a little unsure of the nature of your relationship with this girl. You guys hooked up (once?) three months ago. Has there been more than that? I mean, do you guys act like boyfriend/girlfriend with each other? How often do you see each other? Are you sure she doesn't just see you as a friend?

 

We've been a 'couple' since. Talking a lot and I've visited where we have more physical interactions. She said that she was stupid to not have handle the situation better. Said that tonight she talked to the boyfriend and that he acknowledges it has always been over but wants to keep it.. they left it at that as she said she didn't know how to respond to that. Then I called her and she said she is going to reject his proposal to stay together tomorrow morning.

 

So... is this good? I know everything is sketch and is such a rocky start. But I want her and I will move forward with it... but can I please get advice on how and what I should watch out for and do?

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CC12

CC12

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Okay. Thanks for answering those questions. It clears things up.

 

but can I please get advice on how and what I should watch out for and do?

 

Sure. Look out for her still spending time with this guy as if they're still a couple. If she's serious about you, the very least she could do is to tell him that she's done with him, and to put some boundaries in place. For example, she should not be spending the night with him, or allowing him to attend her family vacations, or letting her family think they're still together. It's strange that both of you seem to think this is normal and okay.

 

She is totally acting like this other dude is still her boyfriend. You shouldn't be okay with this.

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animalover

animalover

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There is not worse blind than the one that doesn't want to see....

 

Don't you see it... she has made you the OM... she is cheating on her boyfriend with you and she is keeping you cool by telling you she will break up at one point of time... you should know that most cheating people say that to their affair partner...

 

You can't be so naive... can you?

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Chi townD

Chi townD

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He went back home to her family house and spent the night there before the trip. They slept in the same room but in different beds. Likewise, after the trip he came back to her hometown first before going home and did the same thing. He was supposed to leave today, but apparently they got the wrong ticket and he has to spend another night there again before he can catch the next train out.

 

 

 

Uh huh....and I'm sure it stayed like that all night.

 

Dude, time to move on because you don't want to be the "other man". She seems to not want to pull the trigger and end it. And I'm not buying that she didn't know that he was coming until right before. That's definitely something that has to be coordinated and planned. So, for her to not have ANY idea is bullsh*t. How did she react when you told her you saw the tagged photo? Was she caught off guard? Because, I'm sure she didn't volunteer the fact that he was there on the phone with you until you brought it up. I believe she had no intention in telling you.

 

I would just text her, "You know what? I'm done. I'm not going to be someones second choice. Call me when you're actually single."

 

Then start no contact. Block her on Facebook. Ignore her texts and let her calls go to voicemail. ESPECIALLY ignore the ones trying to justify her actions to you. Dude, if you believe that nothing intimate happened on this trip, I have a bridge to sell you. Time to move on.

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CarrieT

CarrieT

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Mods, sorry please close this thread.

This site doesn't happen that way. Your thread will remain here for others to read and learn from.

 

Sorry it has happened to you, but you have been duped by a player. Your best bet is to go No Contact with her and move on.

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laaddict

laaddict

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This site doesn't happen that way. Your thread will remain here for others to read and learn from.

 

Sorry it has happened to you, but you have been duped by a player. Your best bet is to go No Contact with her and move on.

 

If he didnt let her take advantage of him like this, the world would be a better place... hopefully people do actually learn from his mistakes. Sad world we live in.

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