Author ZimboGon Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) Stopping by again to check up on this site. If anyone wants to talk they can shoot me a message. Things are still going very well with me, by the way. We've been back together for about a year and a half, now. Edited June 28, 2013 by ZimboGon 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Congratulations man, I made the same mistakes you did, I depended on the person I was with and honestly, I put her above my own wants and needs, I learned a lot from previous long term relationships but I failed to bring most of that to the table, I made the mistake of loving her more than myself and the truth is, you should never love anybody more than yourself, if your married and have children, you should love them about the same but not more than that, I won't get a second chance but I'm fine with that, it's been a month since she left and at first I was butt hurt 24/7 and would mope around but I've learned from previous relationships and I've pushed myself to go out and socialise with people, met a few nice women and have new friends, it doesn't replace or make up for what I had with her but the world doesn't stop turning just because I don't have that anymore, I wouldn't say I'm over her because I know in my heart I've still got so far to go but I know I'll get there and I know one day I'll move on to better things just like I did when I first met her. Good luck man, I hope things continue to work out for you, it sure sounds like they will, you deserve your second chance and you deserve your happiness, long may that continue for you. Link to post Share on other sites
totallylost5040 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 That's awesome man! Its good to hear a story like that, hopefully the rest of us can find something like that as well, i've been in no contact for a while and I'm totally putting ALL my energy into myself.... I don't even care what is going outside of my life. I'm trying to make ME happy right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZimboGon Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 Bumping for others. Link to post Share on other sites
Fix Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Hey, could you give us a brief run down of what happened, how and when? How old where you two when you first got in to a relationship? How long did that relationship last before the initial break up? Who was the dumper? Did you go no contact from day one, was their any begging from either side? Do you or her have any trust issues now that you are back together? Have you two ever talked about what changed in each other to 'reignite the spark' so to speak? Link to post Share on other sites
Summerrose2013 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I'm happy to read this nice story. You've suceeded because you didn't try to recreate the broken RS you had before - you've created a new and improved version. It's funny that it seems it was you who initiated the re-contact - however, I think that many dumpers who still have some respect for the person they have dumped, will actually leave them alone, especially if that has been sprecifically requested. Also, if you have been dumped, there is a lot of hurt pride to get over...once you pick yourself back up, you don't want to chance the rejection again. How did you re-build the trust? How did you overcome the anxiety that she might dump you again at the first sign of trouble....? I don't want my ex back but I worry that I will carry these feelings into my next RS. Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I would be very interested to hear about how you reinitiated contact (and after how long?), if you don't mind sharing. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
rosedl Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 My ex and I broke up for six months. We reconciled about six months ago, and we have never been happier. We are moving in together this Spring and we have talked about marriage. And, it went the same way. I spent time dealing with my own issues. He spent time doing some of his work. We love each other more then ever. People do reconcile, there are all types of different stories. I did not expect to reconcile with my ex. I never fell out of love with him (nor did he with me), but there were past issues we hadn't worked out and fear on both sides. Ironically, I came to the point of truly accepting that I could be on my own and okay. And, I am fine no matter what happens. And, I was scared to reconcile since I worked so hard to get myself in a strong place after the break up. But, I knew that I would be okay either way, so I tried and it has been beautiful. I think the key is to work on yourself and not base your actions on the hope of reconciliation. Base your actions on taking care of yourself, and if the relationship is meant to be...it will be...if not, be thankful that it is over so your real love can come into your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
redheadedglasses Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 My ex and I broke up for six months. We reconciled about six months ago, and we have never been happier. We are moving in together this Spring and we have talked about marriage. And, it went the same way. I spent time dealing with my own issues. He spent time doing some of his work. We love each other more then ever. People do reconcile, there are all types of different stories. I did not expect to reconcile with my ex. I never fell out of love with him (nor did he with me), but there were past issues we hadn't worked out and fear on both sides. Ironically, I came to the point of truly accepting that I could be on my own and okay. And, I am fine no matter what happens. And, I was scared to reconcile since I worked so hard to get myself in a strong place after the break up. But, I knew that I would be okay either way, so I tried and it has been beautiful. I think the key is to work on yourself and not base your actions on the hope of reconciliation. Base your actions on taking care of yourself, and if the relationship is meant to be...it will be...if not, be thankful that it is over so your real love can come into your life. Can I ask, out of curiosity, were you NC for your seperation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZimboGon Posted October 10, 2014 Author Share Posted October 10, 2014 (edited) We were no contact starting after a week since the breakup. She kept stringing me along and i couldn't have that. She was the one who dumped me, for another guy. I contacted her months later. She was very surprised and we picked up from there. One of our mutual friends had talked to her and brought up my name. She said she didn't want to think about me and how i obviously hated her after the breakup. I was very upset, she basically used me as a security blanket after 2 years by stringing me along when she was interested in someone new. I had forgiven it and i knew she was young and needed to experience new things. So, i just texted her one day. We started talking via text, until i asked her to hang out which we did. drove around talking, got a late night meal. Then finally i invited her over to my place to talk, where she then ripped off my clothes and forced me to have sex with her despite my protests. The rest is history. Edited October 10, 2014 by ZimboGon Link to post Share on other sites
studcupid Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 If you lose someone, they will keep living their lives without you and you'll just be hurting yourself even more. So stop obsessing over them and obsess over yourself. If you want them to ever want to be with you after leaving you, you'll need to become someone they want to be with. Don't do it just for that purpose, either. Do it for yourself, because you don't need someone who doesn't want you right now.. Wonderful view. i love reading it over and over again Link to post Share on other sites
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