priest Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 first off i'd just like to say hello, and that this site is so helpfull and insightful.....with that said maybe someone can give me some insight. i was going out with this girl for at least 3 years, we've long since broke up, and at the time we both knew that was where it was leading. unfortunately we were living together when things started to go down hill....and she made our last month or two living there together complete HELL!! I truly hated her at that point for what she was putting my through, and when it was finally said and done it was a huge releif. Now i'm not the type of person that gives people second chances, if you screw me over once you just aren't going to get the chance to do it again, regardless if you were a g/f or friend or whatever, and what she did to me was horrible. Also, i was almost positive that the reason things started really going bad for her anyway, was because she met someone. Anyway, i ended up moving far away to go to school, and she somehow tracked me down, and called me......that was not a pleasant conversation, some things were said on both of our parts, and i ended up telling her that if she died i wouldn't lose any sleep over it(which was completely true). so i thougt it was over and done with. Unfortunately, i moved back to where i'm from and i just got another call from her tonight, and we've been broken up for over a year now......when i saw her name on the caller ID, i pretty much had a good idea about what i was about to say.......but for no apparent reason, i talked civily to her, i felt much less hate(although still a great dislike), and still for some reason i talked, and it turns out that she's engaged and living with a guy, whom by the way she met while we were together, right about the time we started to really have problems.....i accused her of cheating again, she of course denied it (which to me just seems purpostorous).........so then she goes on to ask me if we can be friends again.........W.T.F!!!! why? why?why? .......... Now, i know better than to even consider it, even if i didn't "dislike" her.....but why would she call me out of the blue like that(again), why would she want to try and be friends, and why the hell would she think i would want to when she's going out with the guy that as far as i'm concerned she cheated on me with? does that make sense to some people or is it just me who doesn't understand. Also, i'm slightly concerned now, that this is drudging up feelings of mine that i thought didn't exist?? sorry it's so long but any thought's would be wonderfull, i'm confused as all hell Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 You've got every reason to be confused and baffled by her still calling you...she wants to be friends, but she treated you like ****...last time I checked, friends didn't treat each other this way! I have two theories on why she is contacting you:L 1)She misses you still and wants to know that the door to have some type of contact with you is still open...for whatever reason.... 2)She called to rub it in that she is engaged... Either way, I think that you should tell her that she blew it long ago, that you've moved on and that with "friends" like her, who needs enemies! p.s. people amaze me...I have had guys treat me like **** and then out of the blue call and be all sweet and act as if nothing happened..these people live in a fantasy world and we deserve better!! Link to post Share on other sites
sinderella Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Peole who hurt you, they themelves, are hurting.... I understand exactly what your going through. My ex-boyfriend and I had a very BAD break-up. He messed me up emotionally, mentally and had me hurt physically by some girls. On top of all the BS he put me through he ends up marrying this girl he played me dirty with and she was having his kid. After all the crap...I had to cope w/the pain. Now all of a sudden he's been calling and didn't even have the balls to apologize until I finanlly told him not to call. He continues to call and says he just wants to see how I am doing and stuff. What does he care? It's been to long...I hated him for what he did, btu as time went by those feelings changed to no feelings at all. I'd do the same if he died-better yet I'd spit on his grave. I guess you'd have to understand what I went through and he has the audacity to say that I hurt him. Anyways, I wouldn't give her the time of day-she does not deserve your friendship after all she did. I wouldn't be mean to her either that would only make her think your still hurt-if anything be cordial. I wouldn't waste my time or energy on hating him because he is not worth it. I believe in what comes around goes around...and trust his is coming=) Originally posted by priest first off i'd just like to say hello, and that this site is so helpfull and insightful.....with that said maybe someone can give me some insight. i was going out with this girl for at least 3 years, we've long since broke up, and at the time we both knew that was where it was leading. unfortunately we were living together when things started to go down hill....and she made our last month or two living there together complete HELL!! I truly hated her at that point for what she was putting my through, and when it was finally said and done it was a huge releif. Now i'm not the type of person that gives people second chances, if you screw me over once you just aren't going to get the chance to do it again, regardless if you were a g/f or friend or whatever, and what she did to me was horrible. Also, i was almost positive that the reason things started really going bad for her anyway, was because she met someone. Anyway, i ended up moving far away to go to school, and she somehow tracked me down, and called me......that was not a pleasant conversation, some things were said on both of our parts, and i ended up telling her that if she died i wouldn't lose any sleep over it(which was completely true). so i thougt it was over and done with. Unfortunately, i moved back to where i'm from and i just got another call from her tonight, and we've been broken up for over a year now......when i saw her name on the caller ID, i pretty much had a good idea about what i was about to say.......but for no apparent reason, i talked civily to her, i felt much less hate(although still a great dislike), and still for some reason i talked, and it turns out that she's engaged and living with a guy, whom by the way she met while we were together, right about the time we started to really have problems.....i accused her of cheating again, she of course denied it (which to me just seems purpostorous).........so then she goes on to ask me if we can be friends again.........W.T.F!!!! why? why?why? .......... Now, i know better than to even consider it, even if i didn't "dislike" her.....but why would she call me out of the blue like that(again), why would she want to try and be friends, and why the hell would she think i would want to when she's going out with the guy that as far as i'm concerned she cheated on me with? does that make sense to some people or is it just me who doesn't understand. Also, i'm slightly concerned now, that this is drudging up feelings of mine that i thought didn't exist?? sorry it's so long but any thought's would be wonderfull, i'm confused as all hell Link to post Share on other sites
reno Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 i think this bit.. is just calling to rub it in about being engaged. i have been in the same boat as you , and have been totally used by a woman who considered herself to be the victim of the situation when i left. She also tried to be friends, i think out of her guilt due to her actions-----but she didnt have the class to admit her own actions and apologize. i really dont know if she even recognizes what she did, or is devoid of a conscience, or just doesnt care. sometimes i think she was a victim also and that sort of entitled her to screw with other people, maybe just because it was done to her or as some sort of payback. i'm glad i didnt deal with her very long. i think i would just totally forget her, and never take her calls again. your best recourse is to move on and prosper and be happy. she will get hers as time rolls on. you might send the guy she is with a sympathy card or something.........something like "with deepest sympathy---i have learned of your engagement to your future ex-wife---you have my deepest condolences, because believe me, you will need them." then just totally forget both of them. later Link to post Share on other sites
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