almosteverythingx Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Basically came out of a relationship two month ago. Met a guy I'd dates in the past and we are texting and he's asked to meet up this week. However, major issue is that he takes hours on end to reply. He was like this before when we dated. I have even jokingly mentioned this to him when I last saw him. Then I went yesterday and thought I'd text him back tomorrow so I don't drunk text and he text me saying "giving me a taste of my own medicine?" I replied saying no and carried on conversation and then today he took twelve hours to reply... we are meant to be meeting tomorrow . Is there any point? He can't be that interested, what would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Are you ready to date again? If he was like this before why are you bothering with him? Sounds like you're the can't be alone type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author almosteverythingx Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Because he's a nice guy and yes I'm ready. I kinda put it down to been bad at texting as I see so many of his friends moaning about it on his wall. But if he did like me surely he'd make an effort? To ditch or not to ditch? Link to post Share on other sites
Archgirl Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) Because he's a nice guy and yes I'm ready. I kinda put it down to been bad at texting as I see so many of his friends moaning about it on his wall. But if he did like me surely he'd make an effort? To ditch or not to ditch? Babe accept him as he is or not at all. If his friends give him S*** about it, i'd be grateful he texts at all, especially if he actually replies to every text. Edited February 19, 2013 by Archgirl Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I'd leave a girl if she was a bad texter so yes, I endorse this idea. Texting is communication, however you want to look at it. If the topic was "guy takes 12 hours to call me back" girls would be up in arms telling you to leave him. Why is texting different? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Why is texting different? Because not everyone sits there looking at their phone waiting for a text message. My girlfriend Is peeved it took me three hours to respond yesterday. I'm not going to dump her because we have different ideas on communication. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Because not everyone sits there looking at their phone waiting for a text message. My girlfriend Is peeved it took me three hours to respond yesterday. I'm not going to dump her because we have different ideas on communication. It's going to come to a head at some point. Believe that. Either you're gonna have to change your outlook on texting, or she is. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. People constantly talk about "I don't sit by my phone waiting for a text." -- neither do the people sending the text. They're just annoyed when it takes an unreasonable amount of time for something so simple and fast to send. Texting is popular for those very reasons. It's easy, quick, and non invasive. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 It's going to come to a head at some point. Believe that. Either you're gonna have to change your outlook on texting, or she is. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. People constantly talk about "I don't sit by my phone waiting for a text." -- neither do the people sending the text. They're just annoyed when it takes an unreasonable amount of time for something so simple and fast to send. Texting is popular for those very reasons. It's easy, quick, and non invasive. Really? Your assumptive in thinking I had nothing more pressing during those three hours. You sound a lot like my girl. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Really? Your assumptive in thinking I had nothing more pressing during those three hours. You sound a lot like my girl. Point out in my post where I mentioned you taking 3 hours. I am simply making the point that if you and her are on separate wavelengths when it comes to communication, it will lead to a compromise or a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Point out in my post where I mentioned you taking 3 hours. I am simply making the point that if you and her are on separate wavelengths when it comes to communication, it will lead to a compromise or a problem. Wasn't the premise of your post in response to the amount of time that had past(three hours) anyhow, yes it will lead to compromise, as I don't see it as a problem. Let's not forget, bitchez be crazy... Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Wasn't the premise of your post in response to the amount of time that had past(three hours) anyhow, yes it will lead to compromise, as I don't see it as a problem. Let's not forget, bitchez be crazy... No the part I addressed was the "waiting by the phone thing". There seems to be a disconnect between people who are pro text and those that are anti text. Anti texters look at pro texters as people who sit at home and look at their screen counting every minute that passes between the time they send a text and the time they get a reply back. I do agree that some bitches be crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Texting is popular for those very reasons. It's easy, quick, and non invasive. Non-invasive if you expect someone to constantly be staring at their phone? Seems to me that a call is less time consuming and you will get an immediate answer. You can be doing other things and hear the phone ring. If you don't want to chat just say, "Sorry, I can't talk right now. Can I call you later?" People are too insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Non-invasive if you expect someone to constantly be staring at their phone? Seems to me that a call is less time consuming and you will get an immediate answer. You can be doing other things and hear the phone ring. If you don't want to chat just say, "Sorry, I can't talk right now. Can I call you later?" People are too insecure. Invasive = I have to stop what I'm doing to answer a phone call. And what if it's a question I'm not sure how to answer at that time. Like I'm put on the spot or something? Texting gives you the advantage to thinking out what you want to say, gives you time to respond at your leisure (within reason of course) and allows you to respond from a less emotionally charged state if you are having, or about to have, a heated exchange. I don't recall ever having to say "Hold on everybody! I got a text, I'm gonna take this in the next room, pause the movie while I go answer this. I don't want to miss anything." Texting is less invasive. And that's why the majority of people nowadays prefer it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I agree with MrCastle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Ill play devils advicit. I enjoy my alone time. Durring which I produce music id rather not worry about some insecure girl stressing because i dont respond for few hours. If it is really important pick up the phone and call me. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Ill play devils advicit. I enjoy my alone time. Durring which I produce music id rather not worry about some insecure girl stressing because i dont respond for few hours. If it is really important pick up the phone and call me. What is the difference though? How they communicate isn't as important. It's what they communicate that matters. Text message, phone call, letter in a bottle, smoke signals. It's the message that should be the focus, not how you got the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 What is the difference though? How they communicate isn't as important. It's what they communicate that matters. Text message, phone call, letter in a bottle, smoke signals. It's the message that should be the focus, not how you got the message. I dont have a problem with texting. in fact i quite like it if i want to tell a funny joke or some little tid bit of information. what bothers me is when you are expected to respond to respond to that text immediately. You dont have to be in constant contact with your significant other. People have other things in there life besides you. Spending real time to together is what is important not sending a hey "smily face" and expecting an immediate response. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Because not everyone sits there looking at their phone waiting for a text message. My girlfriend Is peeved it took me three hours to respond yesterday. I'm not going to dump her because we have different ideas on communication. Thats right. If his friends complain he's a bit of a slacko when it comes to getting back to them or meeting them on time, then it seems like this is his nature and its not some sort of 'treat em mean keep em keen' strategy he's playing at or because he is busy chasing other girls or is it necessarily a case of him not finding you desirable as a gf (tho possible). Its likely this is his nature and a different style of communication. He could still have what you want in a great bf, as long as you can deal with the less then prompt communication. Some guys dont want to be at beck and call. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I never text a girl right back it just makes you seem like I am waiting all day for a girls text. I will never text a girl back until 10-30 min goes by depending on how much a care about her. As time goes on and we become a couple then i will text asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I never text a girl right back it just makes you seem like I am waiting all day for a girls text. I will never text a girl back until 10-30 min goes by depending on how much a care about her. As time goes on and we become a couple then i will text asap. Does this bother you? How would you feel if a girl had the same mentality. You make people wait for a response based on how much you like them? I understand that texting back fast gives off an illusion of "neediness" but If im not busy and want to have a conversation then i will text back when i get it. Feels so fake the way you describe it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
starla33 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I would NOT date him. Had the same issue with one guy....he was a great guy, but would take hours and hours to text. At some point took 24 hours. WTH? NOBODY is that busy. I'm sure there are people out there that can deal with it. I on the other hand text back within 2 hour usually (and that's when I'm super busy) and expect the same from others. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I would NOT date him. Had the same issue with one guy....he was a great guy, but would take hours and hours to text. At some point took 24 hours. WTH? NOBODY is that busy. I'm sure there are people out there that can deal with it. I on the other hand text back within 2 hour usually (and that's when I'm super busy) and expect the same from others. Everyone has there priorities. But if someone takes more then a day to respond they, dont care very much. But a few hours is fine. Link to post Share on other sites
starla33 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Everyone has there priorities. But if someone takes more then a day to respond they, dont care very much. But a few hours is fine. I don't think 12 hours is fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Does this bother you? How would you feel if a girl had the same mentality. You make people wait for a response based on how much you like them? I understand that texting back fast gives off an illusion of "neediness" but If im not busy and want to have a conversation then i will text back when i get it. Feels so fake the way you describe it well if i just meet her I would text back 5-10 min so i do not seem to available. I am busy all the time and if i was not i act like i was. same goes for if we only meet a week ago if she called I would not pick up the phone and have her leave a message or get iton the last ring. I call back in a few min 1-3 tops. If i get back to her to fast she think I am not interesting and to predictable. Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 If it's really just a difference in ideas about texting, then you could try not using texting as a way of communicating. If you need to talk, call and speak or leave a voicemail, and see how that works out. Link to post Share on other sites
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