Attracting Older Men

[EAP]

By older I mean four-eight years older than I am. I'm a college freshman and that automatically pins me to the horrible stereotype of well... college freshman. I want a serious long-term relationship and i'm not looking for a FWB. I'm worried that I'll never be taken seriously because of my age and my status as freshman. If there are older guys on here ages say..22-28, what is your opinion on this, and would you ever consider dating someone so young?'

 

*This is not a dating AD, I'm just looking for opinions.*

Edited February 20, 2013 by EAP

[MsSmurf]

Well I'm not a guy, but when I was your age I dated older men all the time. Much older than 8 years too. You'll only be stereotyped as a college freshman if you allow yourself to be. I attracted older men because we shared the same interests. I avoided the stereotype by not participating in any of the stereotypical college activities, living off campus, dressing stylishly yet conservatively, and having older friends with my same interests.

[EAP]

Well I'm not a guy, but when I was your age I dated older men all the time. Much older than 8 years too. You'll only be stereotyped as a college freshman if you allow yourself to be. I attracted older men because we shared the same interests. I avoided the stereotype by not participating in any of the stereotypical college activities, living off campus, dressing stylishly yet conservatively, and having older friends with my same interests.

 

Thanks for the advice. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there! People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'd date a 29 year old over a 21 year old.

[Yamcha]

Don't worry, I'm not looking to date you.

 

Online dating has tons of older dudes on it.

[ChrisBrander]

A guy's main concern when it comes to dating a younger girl is maturity level. We don't want to feel like we're babysitting when we're on a date. If you're looking to go out with men, rather than boys, I assume this won't be an issue for you. However, as you're a college freshman, I would guess you're not yet even 21. Unless you have a fake ID, this can be trouble if the guy wants to take you to a bar, club, or most concert halls. Going to nicer establishments can alleviate this problem too. I took a 20 year old out a couple of months ago to an upscale restaurant. We had a great meal with awesome wine pairings, and we were fine. You don't typically get carded ordering wine anywhere, and margaritas at a Mexican restaurant are usually a safe bet too (if you/he are more price conscious). Bottom Line: If you're smart, fun and at least 18, your age shouldn't matter.

[runner]

A guy's main concern when it comes to dating a younger girl is maturity level. We don't want to feel like we're babysitting when we're on a date. If you're looking to go out with men, rather than boys, I assume this won't be an issue for you. However, as you're a college freshman, I would guess you're not yet even 21. Unless you have a fake ID, this can be trouble if the guy wants to take you to a bar, club, or most concert halls. Going to nicer establishments can alleviate this problem too. I took a 20 year old out a couple of months ago to an upscale restaurant. We had a great meal with awesome wine pairings, and we were fine. You don't typically get carded ordering wine anywhere, and margaritas at a Mexican restaurant are usually a safe bet too (if you/he are more price conscious). Bottom Line: If you're smart, fun and at least 18, your age shouldn't matter.

 

on the first bolded: absolutly.

 

on the second bolded: that is also a big 'if'. i find that many girls that age aren't very wise or street smart about how the world actually works making conversation a bit one-sided, IME.

[Shardish]

I'm 24 years old and my minimum age preference is 20. I am approaching my mid-twenties and I am past the stage of dating teenagers.

[sweetkiwi]

I notice older guys like when women act like bimbos. Try it out.

[Gunny376]

In and as a general rule the fact that your a college freshman in inconsequential. As is your actual age in terms of years.

 

Women across the entire age spectrum are about ten years more emotionally more mature than men their own actual physical age. As both men and women age ~ of course this "emotional maturity" gap lessens.

 

My most successful relationships have been with women about eight to ten years younger than I. Those relationships with women on or about my same physical age have not always been so good.

 

Mrs Gunny my most mutually successful, satisfying, pleasing, sharing, contributing, giving (running out of adjectives here!) relationship to date is six years younger than I.

 

And its not about being a HBX10 either. I have had over the course of my 55 years on the planet had more than my fair share of this different kind and type of personality/woman. For me its more about what's between her ears than what its about between their legs?

 

A vagina is a vagina is a vagina!

 

Which is all well and good for a good thirty and if your lucky sixty minutes out 1440 minutes of the day? But depending upon who your with? Those other 1380 minutes could turn into a slooooooowwwwww torturous Hell!

 

Of course your going to run into the older guy that's just looking for a FWB, or a one-night stand ~ or worse a 'trophy' to hang on his arm. But if you've a good a clear pretty picture in your head as to what your looking for in a "partner" ~ don't sell your "goods" cheap and make them work for what you've got to offer them ~ (and I pray that's more than just what you've got between your legs) then yes what your saying makes a lot of sense.

 

Why would you want to get with someone "Just off the farm" inept, romantically, relationship, emotionally, sexually inexperienced? Why not get with someone who's already gotten their basic education ~ training ~ apprenticeship out of the way? Someone that's already gotten themselves established in a secure, career? That's financially stable unlike most male college freshman, sophomores, juniors, or even seniors?

 

These are some of the best years of your Life! Why sell them short? Why waste what you've got, have to offer, have to bring to the table on someone who's not worthy of what you've got to offer?

 

The divorce rate for men that marry under the age of 25 is a whopping 90%! And the primary reason for that is emotionally immaturity. The divorce rate for men that "Shack up" is again around 90%! If your good enough to live with? Your good enough to marry!

 

Me? Myself and I? I love a woman that makes me 'work for it' and a challenge?

 

It use to be that before a man could marry a woman? He had to go and ask her Father (and/or Mother) for her hand in marriage? Today its seen as being respectful and customary ~ even though the initial and real reason has been lost?

 

The real and initial reason for doing so? Was because the Father wanted to make sure and certain that the 'Groom to be" was mentally, emotionally, financially, stable to support his daughter and any and all subsequent off-spring. That he wasn't a gambler that gambled away the rent/grocery money. That he wasn't a drunk ~ that drank ed away the rent/grocery money. That he had a way of making a living and supporting a wife and children.

 

Why? Because up and until about the 1940/50's? The husband got and retained any and everything from the marriage? No "ifs, ands, nor buts" about it. If the marriage failed? The Father found himself having to take the DD back in along with any and all grandchildren. This was back before "Aide For Dependent Children", Food Stamps, WIC, Social Security, etc

 

Or as the late Country Comedian Jerry Clower put it ~ "You know those kids that you've spent all those years raising, sacrificing for, doing without for? Well their coming back and bringing more mouth with them to feed!"

 

There are a lot of women that go to college for different reasons? There's a lot that go to college because of parential pressure / expectations. Some of them are looking for a BA or an BS, but there are a lot of them that are just looking to find some joker that's on the right track to get his MD or JD degree ~ but what they're really going to college for is to get their MRS. degree.

 

If you marry for money? Your happy azz is going to earn every damned dime of it!

 

There are some college graduates that graduate cum laude', and some that graduate summa cum laude ~ but most? They graduate ~

 

"Thank You Lawdy!"

 

I live in a college/university town. I know a lot of people here that got sucked into going to college ~ and end up working jobs that don't require a high school diploma ~ let alone a college degree. History majors, English majors, literature majors, liberal arts majors, my personal favorite psychology majors.

 

My DS29 never went to trade school, community college, college ~ yet he earns $36 an hour? Almost $75K a year? Ditto with my SIL. Why? Because they work for a Power Company. My son started out doing "Grunt Work" as an electrical groundsmand working on powerline ~ worked his way up to working in the bucket repairing power lines, transfsormers for an electrical contractor after hurricanes/tornados in all kinds of God~awlful conditions. Because he had first hand experiece dealing wiht high voltage? This lead to him being a Nuclear Power Plant Operator.

 

I tell you this because I think you should "shop and compare" ~ there's a lot of different people out there ~ and I say this as though you were my daughter? Open your eyes, broaden your horizons,

[runner]

I notice older guys like when women act like bimbos. Try it out.

 

if you are a young, attractive woman (early 20's) who also happens to be wiser, more intelligent and well-mannered relative to your peers, please ignore this message. you guys rock my world.

[Bengal Tiger]

I'm 29 and like dating all types, including younger women.

 

The main issues are attitude, personality, and interests. If you have these things compatible then you should be fine. As for energy, I have found I like being the dominant masculine energy in the relationship and this happens much easier with younger feminine women. I imagine you are looking for someone who is mature and shares your interests in more intellectual conversations and activities other than beer pong?

 

Online is a popular way to meet people based on your filtered search results. I wouldn't dream of approaching someone your age on campus, but I don't approach anyone anyway. I have found my dates mostly online and sometimes they have approached me at social events.

 

I dated a 19 year old when I was 27 and she didn't care at all about the age diff. I felt a little bit guilty making all the decisions because she would literally do anything I wanted. I went out with a 22 year old recently and she brought up the age issue and I told her I was fine with it, but she seemed like she was unsure. Don't bring up this issue during a date as it can be awkward, and definitely don't obsess over it. I also dated a 40 year old when I was 25 and she was a hot mess of insecurities and constantly harped about the age issue and her weight and vehemently insisted she wasn't a cougar even though she mainly approaches young college guys around campus. Don't do this.

 

So, good luck and have fun. Hope you find what you're looking for.

[hppr]

1) you should worry about your education first and boys second, I think you'll find that the more you focus on your studies and self-improvement the more often you'll be meeting men of quality 2) that age difference isn't a big deal but again, think about your education and self-betterment first

[EAP]

if you are a young, attractive woman (early 20's) who also happens to be wiser, more intelligent and well-mannered relative to your peers, please ignore this message. you guys rock my world.

 

I will never act like something I'm not to attract a man. I am definitely not a "bimbo."

 

 

And I'm eighteen, but I'll get there soon enough. If only I had a fast forward button to drag me out of my teenage state.