Found bf trying to talk to people online/cheating website

[JM009315]

Hey guys, I'm new here. I've been with my bf for years now but just came across a problem I thought we have gotten past.

 

In 2011 I was secretly getting online on our home desktop to order his birthday present. While going back to cover my tracks, I found some strange websites in the history so I clicked on it. Long story short I did some investigating and he had signed up for a porn/dating site. He had commented on a few people's pics and his profile basically said I want to meet people for a fun time. I confronted him about a week later because I a. didn't want to ruin his birthday, and b. created an pseudo account myself to see if he'd take the bait and see how far he was planning on going with this. Well I couldn't wait long and confronted him. He said he just wanted some excitement andhad no intentions on meeting anyone. I told him how it made me feel. Mind you I don't care if he watches porn, but it's the personal talking to other people is what aggravates me. I told him this has to stop, he said ok. About a day later he 'retired' his account. That was over.

 

Well the other day I came home from work and jumped on the laptop (his, but we share it in our living room). He was playing a video game right next to me- well I open it and there's a cheating website up. I laughed it off thinking nothing of it, oh he was watching porn and this was a pop up ad. Well then in the back of my mind I thought hmm, save this website for later. In the meantime that night I had asked oh how was the porn, did you finish, etc. He answered the few questions I had.

 

Well here I am 'later' (a few days), just pulled up that website. Well guess who has an account? Yup, my bf. My stomach is in knots over this. He's not home but I was hoping to get a response from someone before he does about how you'd go about this. I can't f'ing believe he's doing it again even though just over a year ago he said he'd never do it again. His profile said just fun as friends, etc, but like I told him in 2011 I don't like the idea of the personal connection and why can't you just watch porn?

[noble]

Here's the deal.. I would be surprised if your boyfriend hadn't cheated at this point. What he's doing is definitely crossing a major line, and the whole "oh well I wasn't going to meet anyone" doesn't matter, because he's obviously THINKING about cheating and THINKING about being with other girls.

Anyways, you caught him once. He promised never again, and here we are a year later and he's doing it again. So what now? You confront him.. he cancels account, and promises never again. And then what.. two years, three years?

I would be really worried if I were you about what the future held. The fact that he was doing this once should have been a dealbreaker, but it just seems like he is a cheater or has a cheating heart. I personally would not be able to trust him again, especially since he broke his promise and is on another site like that again.

Also, the fact that he left it open shows that he doesn't even really care to try and cover it up. I dont know what to tell you.

If I were you, as painful as it would be, I would probably leave him.

Or, ask him for his passwords and go on and see the conversations he's having with people. Also maybe check his phone to see if he has exchanged phone numbers with any of the people he's chatting with on that website.

But honestly, it doesn't sound good.

I'm really sorry.

[uni-versal]

Here's the deal.. I would be surprised if your boyfriend hadn't cheated at this point. What he's doing is definitely crossing a major line, and the whole "oh well I wasn't going to meet anyone" doesn't matter, because he's obviously THINKING about cheating and THINKING about being with other girls.

Anyways, you caught him once. He promised never again, and here we are a year later and he's doing it again. So what now? You confront him.. he cancels account, and promises never again. And then what.. two years, three years?

I would be really worried if I were you about what the future held. The fact that he was doing this once should have been a dealbreaker, but it just seems like he is a cheater or has a cheating heart. I personally would not be able to trust him again, especially since he broke his promise and is on another site like that again.

Also, the fact that he left it open shows that he doesn't even really care to try and cover it up. I dont know what to tell you.

If I were you, as painful as it would be, I would probably leave him.

Or, ask him for his passwords and go on and see the conversations he's having with people. Also maybe check his phone to see if he has exchanged phone numbers with any of the people he's chatting with on that website.

But honestly, it doesn't sound good.

I'm really sorry.

 

^This. You have the right to ask to see his phone and see if he has been contacting these people. If he refuses, leave him.

[JM009315]

he's saying it's a scam from responding to posts on craigslist. he claims he doesnt know the username or password and is furious i'm accusing him of him cheating. there isn't any history that i can see of him contacting people on here, and it does seem like a general fake account, other than the about me section seems like something he would write and has in his previous accounts. he then said if i'm hunting for a reason to leave him to just tell him. he didn't get this mad when i asked him about it before when i found legit account of him, his pic and all. this doesn't have all that.

 

the website is cheating housewife.

[uni-versal]

he's saying it's a scam from responding to posts on craigslist. he claims he doesnt know the username or password and is furious i'm accusing him of him cheating. there isn't any history that i can see of him contacting people on here, and it does seem like a general fake account, other than the about me section seems like something he would write and has in his previous accounts. he then said if i'm hunting for a reason to leave him to just tell him. he didn't get this mad when i asked him about it before when i found legit account of him, his pic and all. this doesn't have all that.

 

the website is cheating housewife.

 

a scam from responding to posts on craigslist? that doesn't make any sense to me. he probably left the pic off so it would be harder to prove because of the first time.

 

occams razor - the simplest solution is often correct. ask around, have most people you know been "scammed" into creating accounts on cheating websites? i have buoght plenty on craigslist and watched tons of porn and haven't had this happen.

 

hun, he won't give you the password because he's pleading the fifth.

 

do a google search on the subject of confronting a cheater. if he get's mad, that's a red flag. most people respond by getting sad. but getting mad and defensive and accusing YOU of trying to break up with him... well that's a huge red flag.

[pbjbear]

JM,

 

This guy has bad character and spewed you a bunch of bull****. Honestly, you should have left him the first time.

 

Please leave him

 

Be a strong woman and have some self respect. More women today need to be like that

[rhondababy3]

Run as fast as you can! My boyfriend had stuff on craigslist also! We were in love no problems! Just found one he had posted Nov 29th 2012 . He has been gone over a month now, has not come to get his stuff because he cant face me! Your man is a sex addict. I really didnt know about this till I started reading up on this .I thought it was me! thought he was just cheating on me but he is sick! and I wish him the best!