A double standard - One mate forever? The OW vs the MM

[Furious]

It happens. I know several such cases. Usually involving men who walk away from their xWs and see their kids as part of that package, just sending a cheque every month but having nothing further to do with the kid/s, and meeting up with a young, single mother, getting together with her and taking on her kids as their own (often legally adopting them) and transferring their parenting to those kids instead of their "own".

 

When I was a young, single mother I had *many* men wanting to step in and "adopt" my kids as their own, replacing any claim on their affections and resources any offspring of their own may have had.

 

 

I wasn't talking about adoption or step parenting. You didn't pass of your children as their biological children, that's the difference, there's no deception involved.

 

On a side note, the men you describe, I would assume are from your home country, sound like creeps.

[Pierre]

Coco;

Really?!?

Si I could move to your country and have a bunch of "husbands"??!!

 

I'd be "on" that love train if I didn't already know how much work just having One man is, let alone three or four**

 

I have to guess she is from Morroco. Culture can color the views of a person. I think the rule only applies to men

[cocorico]

 

On a side note, the men you describe, I would assume are from your home country, sound like creeps.

 

I know of a few, some from my home country, some from the UK. Some form elsewhere. On the face of it I'd agree it's not admirable behaviour, but I know in one of the cases I know a bit better, the xW effectively prevented the xH from accessing the child (which the law back then allowed her to do - the law has since changed) and he eventually gave up trying, and moved on, writing them out of his life. Pretty sad story for all involved.

[cocorico]

I have to guess she is from Morroco. Culture can color the views of a person. I think the rule only applies to men

 

I'm not Moroccan, and AFAIK it has never been tested with a woman seeking to M more than one man - bit since the constitution forbids discrimination by gender, I don't see why it would be illegal if its legal the other way. Or for multiple same-sex Ms, for that matter.

 

It would make an interesting test case, if you're willing to try?

[Spark1111]

Some do. There are others who do not. And others who kill their own offspring, including some humans.

 

"Maternal instinct" in humans is a myth. It is learned behaviour, otherwise every mother would have it, per definition

 

Every good mother does have it.

 

Procreation of the species and protection of the young ARE the most important biological urges we have for survival.

 

Infanticide by an educated mother is so rare in humans, it makes global newscasts.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I just read the OP and just skimmed the intervening many pages, but my response to the OP is simply, who cares if it's "natural" or not? People can live by their own rules. If they DO make the choice to be in a monogamous relationship for life, then they ought to bring a formal end to that if they change their mind.

 

Isn't that a no-brainer?

 

Of course people are flawed and at times succumb to stuff, but that would never negate the basic correctness of being honest and true to oneself. Not to mention another person.

[MissBee]

I just read the OP and just skimmed the intervening many pages, but my response to the OP is simply, who cares if it's "natural" or not? People can live by their own rules. If they DO make the choice to be in a monogamous relationship for life, then they ought to bring a formal end to that if they change their mind.

 

Isn't that a no-brainer?

 

Of course people are flawed and at times succumb to stuff, but that would never negate the basic correctness of being honest and true to oneself. Not to mention another person.

 

That's really all it boils down to.

 

Lots of things we do in life may not be "natural" but we've chosen to do them and unlike lower order animals, humans can exist in multiple settings with multiple and varied lifestyles. There is no one set way humans have to exist. Except, we tend to live in societies and therefore, by default, make social rules and contracts and have to interact with and be interdependent with others. This interdependence requires communication and decency. Simple.

[ComingInHot]

Pierre; "I have to guess she is from Morroco. Culture can color the views of a person. I think the rule only applies to men"

 

So a man would REALLY want a bunch of women under the Same roof so he could spread his seed and bang'em whenever he wants?!

 

That's almost Worse to me.

Have you read the stories of what happens even between sisters trying to share the mirror?!?!

 

I can't imagine THAT ending well*

[Pierre]

Pierre; "I have to guess she is from Morroco. Culture can color the views of a person. I think the rule only applies to men"

 

So a man would REALLY want a bunch of women under the Same roof so he could spread his seed and bang'em whenever he wants?!

 

That's almost Worse to me.

Have you read the stories of what happens even between sisters trying to share the mirror?!?!

 

I can't imagine THAT ending well*

 

If there was a free hassle way where I could have several wives i would consider it. However, I suspect it gets complicated. Furthermore, it would prevent true bonding with one female. The attention would be diluted.

 

I understand the craving for variety, but IMO, the complications are much worse.

[Eggplant]

So a man would REALLY want a bunch of women under the Same roof so he could spread his seed and bang'em whenever he wants?!

 

I sort of remember reading that polygeny works/has worked best when the man keeps multiple households, each one for a different wife. Often there is bitter conflict, and it's best to keep them separate, lol.