hotgurl Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Hey everyone. I have a problem. I have been with my bf for 3 years and I still get that giddy lightheaded feeling when I see him. I look forward to seeing him. But we have lost our passion. I am very sexual and physical person and very adventurous but he isn't. He is too tired and we only have sex once a week I just want him to want me so much and throw me against a wall in frenzied lust but we only do it in our bed same way blah blah I have talked to him numerous times and tired sexy nightgowns giving him a massage letting him chase me trying to seduce him ect.. He gets up earlier than me and goes to bed earlier and by the time my daughter is alseep and he unwinds it's time for bed but I am not not a morning person. He works about a 45-50 hour week and the commute is 45 minutes each way. we have date night fridays and saturday am free(only time we have sex) So I am out of ideas. Aren't guys supposed to be the horny ones. I feel soo unwanted. Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 He's tired more than likely. I've always heard that guys are suppose to be so much more easily aroused and need "it" 24/7 but the more I read the more I realize that's not the case for all men... A very serious word of advice, DON'T MARRY HIM if this doesn't get resolved. As bad as this is in a gf/bf relationship, it's worse in a marriage. Find someone that is compatible with you sexually before you marry! Even then sometimes you find out there's a mis-match BUT at least right now you know how it is with this man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted September 1, 2004 Author Share Posted September 1, 2004 I love him so much though. I wasn't like this at all until he got this job. We had the same schedule and had nooners all the time. we would have sex at least once a day or maybe more. at first I thought it was the natural slow down of being together 2 years. we were going througha lot of stress when we first moved in together too. but I though it was a temporary lull and it would recover but it hasn't .I still happen to think if we had similar schedules or could meet for lunch it would be better. It's sad to me to think of ditching a really great relationship just for sexual incompatabilities. But he is also older than me as well. If we get an hour or so alone together mid day or before 7 he's all for it but it impossibles since we both commute and have a daughter. I don't even get home till 7:30 at night. so it's tough. whoever said sex is only 10% of the relationship unless there's a problem then it's 90% was right. Link to post Share on other sites
emobat Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 It's probably a combination of time constraints, stress, and a slowdown and settling into a pattern within the relationship..... Going to bed at different times doesn't help. I can tell you that from experience. When one partner is asleep and/or tired and the other is wanting some action, the reaction from the sleeping partner is hardly ever a good one. At least you've still got once a week. I wish there was something I could tell you, because it would help me too. My wife and I have been on a slowdown since about 3 months into our relationship. She's always too tired to. Hell, if it weren't for my constant badgering, we probably wouldn't have had sex at all since our daughter was born two years ago. All I can suggest is talking about it. Try to make him realize that it is an important part of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 i have talked to him and explained it. How inportant it was to me because it is so imtimate he holds me and kisses me ect.. I have even tired suggesting just making out which I love so It doesn't seem so long. When you are tired the tought of sex can be daunting but just like 10 minutes of making out isn't so bad. Sometimes I have trouble orgasiming so we go a least an hour and I understand when you really exhausted your like god I don't have the energy for an hour of sex. We'll see because it is important I can hus a friend but you only make love to your partner, Link to post Share on other sites
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