papasmurfage Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Hello all, just wanted to get more opinions on this girl in my college and will try to keep as short as possible. This is my first year of college and she is a high school student still. We first met during my first week of my chemistry class. We had to pick lab partners and I did not know anyone (nor did she) because all my friends were in another class. She ended up picking me to be her partner. I said yes and ever since then we sit by each other in class and talk everyday. We always walk to our cars after class and she always offers me rides to my car far away. She can get flirty (jokes around, eye contact, smiles, waits for me after class) and noticed she started to dress nicer (gum, perfume, hair, clothes, etc). Recently she said small little comments of her boyfriend but then right after we stopped talking about him. She has gotten more touchy like resting her head on my shoulder and rubbed my back for awhile. I consider myself a good looking guy and talented but I am not quite sure what her intentions are. I think she is cute, pretty, smart, and an awesome personality. I do not want to get in the way of her boyfriend and only want the best for them (if he treats her right) but she never mentions how they are, etc. I would never want her to cheat on him for me, if anything i would tell her to break it off with him if it ever got to that point. She does not seem like the "slutty" type too but hey I have dated girls that were way different than i expected so who knows. Is she flirting to further a relationship with me and later on discard her boyfriend? Does she just seek attention from another man? Just want to be friends? This is what I cant seem to understand everyday and it is quite confusing/ frustrating. Let me know what you guys think! Thanks! =)
Author papasmurfage Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 haha lol thanks for the good laugh!
ScreamingTrees Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) If you feel as if she's getting less subtle and more obvious about her intentions, tell her how you feel.. That if she's really that interested in you, she'll break it off with her man. If she can get bored of and mess around on her guy as it stands, there's nothing really stopping her from doing the same to you at some point down the road. If you're worried about an actual substantial relationship, or aren't a douche bag and wouldn't want to cause trouble for both of them, but more so the guy (even IF he's a total douche, why stoop to his and her respective level?), don't even bother unless she officially breaks up with the guy. She'll probably try to play both of you. Edited February 21, 2013 by ScreamingTrees 1
laaddict Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) I had sorta the same thing happen to me in my first year of college too. The girl was like 3 or 4 years younger than me, she came from a different city. One day we were walking to metro with some guy in our class. In the metro, she says hmm Im hungry, I was actually starving so I say exactly that. And there was this awesome place just right by the metro where I had to get off and take the bus (she walked in the opposite direction of my bus to get home) and so I tell her. We go to eat, he funny thing is I order my food, and then move aside so she can order her food, the guy asks me if its 1 bill and I say no. Anyways, we're eating, and Im starving so Im eating like a pig, midway through she says she has a boyfriend, not that I was attracted to her or anything, she seemed like a typical party girl and even then I knew to stay away from that. This was like the first month or two of the semester. Over time she talks to me more and gets close to me (not me to her though), and mid way through the semester her boyfriend shows up, at the class, blocking the door way, holding her, and to get inside the class, I have to squeeze through this guy. egh. That was weird that I told you the whole story, but whatever. If you have any self-respect, hopefully you do it is a pretty useful thing and you cannot be happy or fulfilled in life without it, you will see that this chick is messed up in the head. If she liked you, she wouldnt have told you about her boyfriend, she would have dumped him and tried to get a relationship with you going. In my opinion, she is a parasite and if you are wise you will avoid this girl. There is a strong possibility that I am wrong, either because my understanding of the world is incorrect (I dont think so) or because I have only the info that you told us to go by. I think she is trying to feed her ego (like a parasite). I think she wants more, just like people want more money, more fame, more power. A wise decision would have you heading to the path of happiness. You should be looking at whether or not you are compatible and whether this is the person you want raising you kids. Would you want to tell your kids this is how you met their mother? I wish you luck and happiness in your life. Edited February 21, 2013 by laaddict 1
irc333 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Yeah, I would tempt fate and flirt back, and even ask her out if she's flirting with me,just to see what she says. Chances are if you go for it, It'll make her reflect on her current relationship she may not be happy in right now.
JennaMax Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Geez, thanks for keeping it short:D Anyways, it sounds to me like a simple case of attention-seeking, us girls get up to to test the waters. See, even when in relationships we sometimes like to feel that we still attracted other men so, flirting is the best way.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Assume that she is just looking for validation from you and thats it, until she can prove otherwise. She could really be looking to trade up, so no need to toss away a good opportunity. Most people arent going follow the unsaid rules of dumping who you dont like when you dont like them, before moving onto the next. Some people refuse to be alone, and will hold on to someone until they find someone new, and that could be you. Dont worry about her doing it to you in the future, if you know the signs to look for, you can beat her to it. Go ahead and flirt with her, but keep the balance in your favor, test her to see how far she will go, and assume she will bail when she gets the validation she seeks. Emotionally, her bf might be neglecting her. As long as you keep it as a dumb game in your head, you dont have to build up any expectations. 1
truth_seeker Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I've been in this situation before. Do not get your hopes up. She has a man. This means unavailable... for now. Keep talking to her. She may be looking to trade up and is testing you to see if you're worth the risk, ie, leave her boyfriend for you. If you feel she is just seeking attention only, flirt with other women in front of her. Let her know you got other things going on. 1
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