Panda87 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Hi all, its been 2 months since my break up. Going back to my hometown for 2 weeks recently Everything seems getting better, i dont feel hurts that much. Dont dwell on it anymore eventhough i see her everyday in office. im not ignoring her either, we are remains friendly. she deserve to be happy with someone else, no more hate or bitterness for her. Not fully move on, but i am there. I can control my emotion better, feeling much lighter. but i need some advice on 1 thing, my colleague's wedding is coming soon. She invite all her colleagues, include me and her. Problem is my colleague also invite my ex's current gf. Yes she will come, she is my ex colleague (my senior). I am still not sure if i should come to the wedding. I only have 2 option 1. Loving myself and be selfish, not going to my colleague's wedding. I scared everyone think im childish. But all i want is to take care of my heart of getting hurts again. Seeing my ex and her gf together in front of my face. Got to pretend happy and feel like **** afterwards. 2. Being strong and mature, accept my colleague invitation. Eventhough i know it will be as tough as hell to go through it. Seriously, i almost 70% confirm to choose option no.1... Afterall we all selfish and love ourselve more. But i feel bad for my colleague. What will you guys do? Im sorry if my question might seems naive or too childish. Appreciate your help Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I would.want to go with option 2 but realistically I don't.think I could do it. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelifexx Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Def. option 1. No way Id let myself go through that pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Panda87 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Thank you guys for your response. Anyone else? Sorry, because im still not sure what to do. The wedding by this week, i just scared i might im ready to see them but once the reality hits me on my face i will break down again. I will go back to square again, all my efforts to heal myself will be gone. On the other hand, i want to prove to myself i can be mature and act as adult to show that im strong enough to handle that. Would appreciate if i can get more advise from here. Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Just tell them you have other plans. If you get judged you get judged, but the only person looking out for you IS you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kaza Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Love yourself, do what's best for you. Be who you want to be. If everyone thinks you're childish, so be it. You're not childish, you're taking care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
H3Drvr Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Just don't go if you don't feel comfortable about it. Send them a wedding gift and a card saying you are unable to attend. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Why are you going if you don't feel comfortable with what you might see there? The only person you've got to think about is YOU! Why go, see something you don't want to see and have a crap time, which will no doubt ruin the whole experience for you anyway. Make your excuses, they'll understand. Do what's best for you and you alone. You need to start considering your own feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin's wagon Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi. In my opinion, I wouldn't go to the wedding. If the colleague who's getting married is your good friend, she'll understand when you explain why you're not coming (I'm really against lying, so I would advise you to tell the truth). If she's a good friend, she wouldn't want you to suffer at her wedding. If she doesn't understand how hard it is for you, then, in my opinion, she's not such a good friend and in that case, no sense in putting yourself in a bad place because of her. I agree with the others, you have to take care of yourself first and foremost! You said you're afraid that everyone will think you're childish. Well, the people that are your true friends will understand and not think you're childish. And those that will think of you as childish because of this -> in your position, I wouldn't want to be friends with such people and definitely wouldn't expose myself to "hell", as you describe it, just to please them. Also, if you're trying to adhere to the "non-contact" thing, this might set you back big time.... Plus, I think her wedding might be nicer for her if she won't "have to" think about how much you're suffering, or if she won't see your sad face there... So all in all, I think it's not just in your best interest to not go to the wedding, but in the bride's as well. And don't feel bad about not going - your bride will be happy in any case (she's getting married:)), and you will feel much better by not going there. Best wishes in any case, I hope you will soon feel much better! Link to post Share on other sites
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