dugs Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Hey guys I need some opinions on my situation. my ex broke up withme three months ago...together 9 months... we tried to be friends at first but that only lasted like a month. It was too hard for me so I decided that I would try my best to avoid any contact with her. I did so for a month but then I saw her at a party and she came up to me and started talking to me. We talked all night and she told me I could call her. 3 more weeks passed and I debated about whether or not to call her...I ended up calling her like a week ago. We had a good conversation and she sounded happy to hear from me. So she called me on Friday and asked me to a movie with some mutual friends...I went and we had a good time...kept it friendly though...she text messeges me yesterday (Tues) and asks me to go to a party with her on thurs. I haven't gotten back to her yet. We broke up on good terms, she didn't cheat on me or anything like that. She claimed she just didn't know if I was right for her. From what our mutual friends have told me she quit possible wants me back. I don't know what I should do. Should I keep it friendly and see what happens, or should I just ignore her and not risk being hurt again. Advice please Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Here's some advice.... what do you *want* ok now do it. don't second guess it. And take it slow or politely say no, you don't need to burn any bridges here. Link to post Share on other sites
dumblover Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Wow, I just did a search and your situation is like mine, only not as involved yet. I dated a girl for three years and lived with her for two. Four months ago she told me we needed to break up. I left and we tried to see each other shortly there after. It was also too hard for me and I said I could not see her anymore. It wasn't a bad breakup in the sense that somone did something wrong. It was, however, the worst four months of my life. Just when I finally can live without her (met a girl I actually could see myslef dating) she sends me a letter telling me that she was spooked about marriage, after her parents and step parents have all been in horrible ones, but that I am worth the risk. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. I still love her, but things are different now. I don't know if I could ever get back with her. She wants to talk about us starting from a place we are both comfortable with. I don't know. I mean, I guess the best thing to do is talk about it at least, right? If she wants you back, then at least you can somewhat dictate the terms and pace. I know one thing: DO NOT JUMP RIGHT BACK INTO IT. Feel it out and concentrate on having fun. In my case, I know it will be hard to start dating her and not get those strong feelings back. Life is a strange thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by dugs Hey guys I need some opinions on my situation. my ex broke up withme three months ago...together 9 months... we tried to be friends at first but that only lasted like a month. It was too hard for me so I decided that I would try my best to avoid any contact with her. I did so for a month but then I saw her at a party and she came up to me and started talking to me. We talked all night and she told me I could call her. 3 more weeks passed and I debated about whether or not to call her...I ended up calling her like a week ago. We had a good conversation and she sounded happy to hear from me. So she called me on Friday and asked me to a movie with some mutual friends...I went and we had a good time...kept it friendly though...she text messeges me yesterday (Tues) and asks me to go to a party with her on thurs. I haven't gotten back to her yet. We broke up on good terms, she didn't cheat on me or anything like that. She claimed she just didn't know if I was right for her. From what our mutual friends have told me she quit possible wants me back. I don't know what I should do. Should I keep it friendly and see what happens, or should I just ignore her and not risk being hurt again. It sounds to me like she wants to continue being friends, platonic friends for now, anyway. If you can keep your feelings under control, then go ahead & enjoy the friendship. At the same time, cultivate other relationships as well so you are not overly focused on her, & building false hopes about something that may not happen. Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 YOU are the one who determines whether or not you will be hurt. Don't ever give anyone else this power, especially not if you love them. Will she test you in the future? Yes. How? She may start to fall back into her old patterns. SO, don't let her. If you want your relationship to be different, then you are going to have to be different... If she trys to make you feel bad, ignore it. Act indifferent. Act perfectly happy. Agree with everthing she has to day, even if you don't. Don't defend yourself, and watch as she does it for you! -Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovehertodeath Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 no no dude, dont give her anymore attention. SHE LOVES IT! Shes not interested in being in a relationship with you because shes getting everything she needs now....YOUR ATTENTION! If you really want this girl to fall for you I would go out and meet new girls or perhaps one of her FRIENDS! HELL YEAH! Make sure you let her realize that she IS replacable! She will pursue you TRUST ME! If she doesnt then SHE DIDNT GIVE A **** ABOUT YOU! peace! Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 This isn't about giving her attention, this is about proving that you are the better person, that you can live without her. This is about being the person that sh ewants you to be again! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts