dejame Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 why people only look at what a person does for them and not what they have done to others. Somehow, some think if they are told the person they are with is mistreating their ex.... the ex deserves it. They forget that they may be an ex some day. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 jstub i know you will get a lot of flak on here by being in the same room as another woman while you are still married whether you slept with her or not to me that, personally is irrelevant do whatever you got to do to get you through the day:) 1 thing i WILL say thou is this be careful aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jstub Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 why people only look at what a person does for them and not what they have done to others. Somehow, some think if they are told the person they are with is mistreating their ex.... the ex deserves it. They forget that they may be an ex some day. I don't understand... Care to elaborate? Link to post Share on other sites
5050rights-org Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 5050rights-org, so far to date, you've posted 3 times. In 2 of those posts, you've stated you're 'against divorce' yet in both posts, you agree it's the right thing to do. You yourself are divorced. Sorry, but, you can't be against divorce. You may not like the idea of it being a relatively simple process, and how quickly some people decide on it - but you can't really state you're 'against it'. My personal belief is that divorce is wrong...That means that Im against it That being said---no one deserve being abused. If they wont make changes, then divorce needs to be an option Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 My personal belief is that divorce is wrong...That means that Im against it That being said---no one deserve being abused. If they wont make changes, then divorce needs to be an option My personal belief is that marriage is wrong. Marriage is the main cause of affairs.... If people weren't married, infidelity would be a far lesser issue. Your personal belief is that Divorce should be a last resort - unless there is abuse. But it can't be wrong if (one) you've advised others to go with it - in your very first and only post to them in their thread, and (two) if you yourself have seen and benefited from the advantages of it. Divorce is never 'wrong' if there is good cause. And every person instigating a divorce will tell you that they have good cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jstub Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 We still live in the same house. It's a pretty big house and I live downstairs and she upstairs. We do run into each other, but oh well. It's only temporary. 4 more weeks! She has been trying to push this agenda on me ever since I can remember. She wants to move into this house, which is a 2 bedroom and a guest house on 1 property. She wants the 2 br and wants me to have the guest house. I of course refuse this set up and tell her I don't want to live next to her and that is out of the question. Whenever I tell her this, all hell breaks loose. -You don't care about the kids -You don't care about my health -How am I supposed to work if you are not there -How am i supposed to get clean if you are not there -The kids can't go through this, because you are being selfish. They need their dad there all the time -I am not doing this out of convenience for myself, I wouldn't want to live next door to you either. - You are childish, it's all in your head that you can't just enjoy what we have together and just let go of the marriage. All her statements are geared to make me feel guilty and like an a**hole. My reply to her, no matter what the accusation. I need to think about my health and well being, and in order to be there for my children, I need to feel good, and such a living arrangement will not be healthy for me. When she realizes she is not getting anywhere with me, she switches. She starts saying that, she is not sure about the whole thing, that she still loves me, and she wants to work on things etc. She keeps calling me when I am in my living area, to go upstairs to talk... I just tell her, I am busy! I am dealing with a manipulator that is talking so much **** that I can smell it from a mile away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm sure when you move further apart it will still stink..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jstub Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 So i am getting really annoyed these days. Every freaking day she asks me if I want to sleep next to her. Every freaking day, she wants to talk about the future. Every freaking day, she wants to discuss to move together. I am leaving on Sunday for my business trip and now she plans going to the same place as me. She keeps asking "which nights" she can have to go out. I know what it's about. The OM lives there. I keep telling her, she is not welcome and I will not deal with her when I am there. She pressures me and says if she can stay at the hotel I am staying, in my freaking room. Then she says, If I will not watch the kids, then she has to put them in night time care (until 11 PM), that way she can go out. I am so pissed off, but I am trying to stay cool. I am seeing my lady friend tomorrow night, and I know there is a high chance that something will happen and I am looking forward to it. I tried to end it and I explained the situation to her, but she still wants to be with me, so I don't see why not. She knows I am moving in a few weeks, but she wants to live in the moment with me. I do like her, so I will enjoy the time we have together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jstub Posted March 10, 2013 Author Share Posted March 10, 2013 So I went out last night, was having fun. Me and my date passionately kissed each other in the middle of the street. I was feeling great. Then we ended up in a hotel room. That's when things went downhill for me. I felt so guilty, like I was cheating. I could not concentrate. She wanted me bad, but it was very mixed for me. I had to fake it twice with her... I was thinking about my wife and thinking how in the world can she do the exact thing I am doing? Did she also feel this way? She hugged me and fell asleep and I just wanted to run. I couldn't sleep all night. In the morning, she wanted sex again. This time I was in the mood and I didn't think about anything and had a great time. Made me think it maybe was the alcohol last night, that put me in that mood. This all made me realize. A. I am not ready for this. B. my wife is wayyyy passed me in the detachment department. C. This lovely woman doesn't deserve this. D. I am a mess. When I came home, I had a huge argument with my wife because of the night. She kept saying, I am still her husband and that "bitch" better watch it. This is such a mess. Counting the days till I move. Link to post Share on other sites
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