Revolver Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I see it online and in general, either flat out said or implied(mostly said to men)Why do people say this? I mean every one knows that they're are all types of "bad" people who are successful in terms of dating and relationships. This ranges from ass holes to flat out Criminals. I don't get it Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Which part of 'odds' do you not understand? If a 300 lbs person asks why he/she is having trouble dating, people will tell them that their weight is the problem. But there are actually plenty of 300 lbs people with partners (whom they got when they were 300 lbs). Does that mean that it isn't true that obesity limits your dating prospects? Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I see it online and in general, either flat out said or implied(mostly said to men)Why do people say this? I mean every one knows that they're are all types of "bad" people who are successful in terms of dating and relationships. This ranges from ass holes to flat out Criminals. I don't get it where did u see someone write that? show me a single post Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I see it online and in general, either flat out said or implied(mostly said to men)Why do people say this? I mean every one knows that they're are all types of "bad" people who are successful in terms of dating and relationships. This ranges from ass holes to flat out Criminals. I don't get it I think it's fairly easy to understand. People often simply want to believe that the world is a fair, just place. That if a person doesn't succeed or has bad things happen to them, that they got their just desserts in some way. Success takes a combination of luck and ruthlessness. You need luck in terms of having the talent to succeed in your chosen field, but you also need to be ruthless. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in terms of not caring if your talent/luck makes other people feel bad about themselves or envious and hostile towards you ...and I think that's where a lot of nice people tend to fall down. They're that bit more likely to take responsibility for other people feeling bad. I was talking about this very recently to a friend who has a pretty toxic family. She's done well - much better than her other family members - and they resent her for it. She said that there have been many times in her life when she's sort of wished for something bad to happen to her so that they'd feel less jealous/better disposed towards her. I told her that a malignant bully is a malignant bully. When things are going well for her, they will hate her for it and if things go horribly wrong for her they will despise and blame her for it. The best thing she can do is to stop taking any responsibility whatsoever for their feelings, anger, bitterness and ill wishing. However while that's the best thing to do (for her) it's also a very difficult action to take for a sensitive, empathic individual who cares about others and is prone to taking more than their fair share of responsibility for conflict. The "bad people" in my book are the ones who don't take any responsibility at all - while heaping responsibility and blame on everybody else. The people who are all about putting negativity, obstacles and ill will in front of others, in an effort to knock their confidence and shame them out exercising and building on their talents. Unfortunately some of those people who use gamesmanship, politics and negativity to knock down the competitiion do succeed as a result of their shoddy tactics. Unless a person has failed as a direct result of being caught bonny using those shoddy tactics, I think it's BS to assume that failure = bad person. The fact that a person tried in the first place deserves some sort of credit, and if they can manage to keep picking themselves up after failure - or after psychological knocks delivered by other people's unsporting tactics - and continue persevering, then they increase their chances of eventual success. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Revolver Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Which part of 'odds' do you not understand? If a 300 lbs person asks why he/she is having trouble dating, people will tell them that their weight is the problem. But there are actually plenty of 300 lbs people with partners (whom they got when they were 300 lbs). Does that mean that it isn't true that obesity limits your dating prospects? I get your point but The difference for me is, I've known people who got rejected strictly for being overweight. I've never seen examples of being mean or bad ever limiting a persons dating prospects. It's almost always because they are unnactractive(like being fat)or uninteresting. People don't suck with the opposite sex because they're bad Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I get your point but The difference for me is, I've known people who got rejected strictly for being overweight. I've never seen examples of being mean or bad ever limiting a persons dating prospects. It's almost always because they are unnactractive(like being fat)or uninteresting. People don't suck with the opposite sex because they're bad It depends on your definition of 'bad'. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I get your point but The difference for me is, I've known people who got rejected strictly for being overweight. I've never seen examples of being mean or bad ever limiting a persons dating prospects. It's almost always because they are unnactractive(like being fat)or uninteresting. People don't suck with the opposite sex because they're bad The problem is, just because they are not universally attractive, doesn't mean they have to suck. It will be difficult for them, and that is recognized - nobody sugarcoats that, and that people think that it's being sugarcoated only highlights some deficiencies in their thinking in terms of deciphering the advice given to them. Everybody has some major piece of work that they have to do in their lives, places where they can improve. Acceptance is key, as well as willingness to expand. I don't think they are bad people, I just think the way they think limits them more than reality does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Yup it's true. I eat puppies and punch old ladies. Forever alone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Revolver Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 It depends on your definition of 'bad'. As I said in the OP, there's different levels of bad from just being a jerk to criminals. But from what I've and most people have seen these people have zero problems being successful with the opposite sex. Which is the point of this thread. Hell look at politicians for example:laugh:, most of them are lying scumbags. But their almost all married or in a relationship of some kind. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 There are quite a few people who think the views I hold make me a cold, heartless monster. I don't think that has any bearing on my dating life though. Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 There are quite a few people who think the views I hold make me a cold, heartless monster. I don't think that has any bearing on my dating life though. Oh well... I don't think that, I just think you are sadly mistaken about your dating potential. Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I TOTALLY agree with this statement, applies to all areas in life, not only dating or relationships. I see it online and in general, either flat out said or implied(mostly said to men)Why do people say this? I mean every one knows that they're are all types of "bad" people who are successful in terms of dating and relationships. This ranges from ass holes to flat out Criminals. I don't get it Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 never heard that so maybe its your experience that you try to act like its something that happen often beside i think maybe cause the person is very nasty they use the situation to tell him something about their bad behavior. or its also true Link to post Share on other sites
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