Any gamers that play WOW out there got a question for you?

[Being_patient15]

So my boyfriend is really into the game WOW. (World of Warcraft) his always playing when we hang out up to 5 hrs+ . I don't have a problem with him playing video games. (Because video games are awesome.)Like he talks to me doesn't ignore while playing, but I want to interact with him so i was thinking should I join him and play WOW? is it easy game to learn? Never played a PC. Or I should shut up and let him do his own thing and let him play with his guild friends.

When he plays his game I usually play his ps3 (mortal kombat, metal gear) or watch movies. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? Does he think its hot when I play is ps3 while he plays his PC. I always wonder that when I'm playing.

[Els]

Sigh. Yes, I used to play, I think it's so easy to play now that a 5-yo could probably do it no problems, I'm not sure if joining him will help you depending on what you want to achieve.

 

I am not going to comment on the fact that he is playing way too much and you are accepting way too little if you're okay with him 'always playing when you hang out', because who am I to tell you what to expect in a relationship?

[Being_patient15]

Ok thanks. When I see him play it looks difficult. And I know he does play a lot. But its Not bothering me that much right now but who knows maybe it will irriate me in the future.

 

I was thinking maybe if I join him we can have bonding time or idk what I'm trying to achieve it was just a thought.

[Els]

If it's not bothering you, why are you bending over backwards just to have 'bonding time' with him?

[Keenly]

Sigh. Yes, I used to play, I think it's so easy to play now that a 5-yo could probably do it no problems, I'm not sure if joining him will help you depending on what you want to achieve.

 

I am not going to comment on the fact that he is playing way too much and you are accepting way too little if you're okay with him 'always playing when you hang out', because who am I to tell you what to expect in a relationship?

 

First of all... five hours a day is nothing. You can have a healthy social life... a girlfriend... and a full time job with 5 hours of gaming a day. The only problem is him choosing to play it while she is around. Bad idea.

 

I would strongly recommend you not get into world of Warcraft simply because its a crap game and you will either get really bored, or addicted. Suggest a different activity for you two is my advice .

[Els]

First of all... five hours a day is nothing. You can have a healthy social life... a girlfriend... and a full time job with 5 hours of gaming a day.

 

...No, you can't. Let's be generous and give you a regular 9-5 job with an average commute, you wake up at 7, get ready, head to work, get back at 6-ish. You eat dinner and get chores done, 7 rolls around. How is the excess time going to be divided between 5 hours of gaming, a healthy social life and a girlfriend?

 

5 hours a day is just ridiculous unless it's a temporary situation - ie you're a student on break or something. I am well acquainted with the gaming community and nobody with a full-time job and a healthy R and social life plays that much everyday. Those that do are sacrificing something - usually time with their girlfriend.

 

him choosing to play it while she is around. Bad idea.

 

Agreed.

[CptObvious]

...No, you can't. Let's be generous and give you a regular 9-5 job with an average commute, you wake up at 7, get ready, head to work, get back at 6-ish. You eat dinner and get chores done, 7 rolls around. How is the excess time going to be divided between 5 hours of gaming, a healthy social life and a girlfriend?

 

5 hours a day is just ridiculous unless it's a temporary situation - ie you're a student on break or something. I am well acquainted with the gaming community and nobody with a full-time job and a healthy R and social life plays that much everyday. Those that do are sacrificing something - usually time with their girlfriend.

 

 

 

Agreed.

 

12-7 sleep

7:30-8 drink your breakfast

8-4 work(screw lunch, it's a waste of time. Drink your meals and chew gum)

4:30-6 gym and/or shopping(and preparing meals) depending on what day it is

6-6:30 drink your dinner on your way home

6:30-11:30 gaming

 

Life of a champion right there^

[CptObvious]

So my boyfriend is really into the game WOW. (World of Warcraft) his always playing when we hang out up to 5 hrs+ . I don't have a problem with him playing video games. (Because video games are awesome.)Like he talks to me doesn't ignore while playing, but I want to interact with him so i was thinking should I join him and play WOW? is it easy game to learn? Never played a PC. Or I should shut up and let him do his own thing and let him play with his guild friends.

When he plays his game I usually play his ps3 (mortal kombat, metal gear) or watch movies. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? Does he think its hot when I play is ps3 while he plays his PC. I always wonder that when I'm playing.

 

You would likely be a celebrity if you actually got good at the game. Set up a livestream and let the nerds throw their views and donations at you.

[M30USA]

I still play WC3. Beat that.

 

I'm not a big gamer. I don't like spending hours a day with games, but that's why I play WC3. You can play one game and be done in 30 minutes.

[Els]

12-7 sleep

7:30-8 drink your breakfast

8-4 work(screw lunch, it's a waste of time. Drink your meals and chew gum)

4:30-6 gym and/or shopping(and preparing meals) depending on what day it is

6-6:30 drink your dinner on your way home

6:30-11:30 gaming

 

Life of a champion right there^

 

A single and friendless champion who drinks all his meals, doesn't work out, and doesn't do anything but work and game, yep. Thanks for proving my point.

[Els]

I still play WC3. Beat that.

 

Lots of people still play WC3. I last played it a couple months ago.

[Submisfit]

If you play wow with him, it might reinforce the notion that it's okay for him to consider WoW time as date time. You don't want him cutting out the time he spends with you on other things because he sees the time that he's playing video games as his "you" time.

[Toddbt12y1]

Strengthen the notion that your time comes before game time.

 

Although, nothing is wrong with you playing with him. Don't let him forget your real world needs...

 

...besides only good thing about wow is druids

[JohnM]

I would say it's pretty selfish to be the company of another and devote the majority of your attention to playing a game at the same time. If you want to play something as engaging as MMO games then you can do that and get your fill in an hour or so of playing. You save a long stint for when you have time to kill or on a weekend evening or something.

 

If he really enjoys his games so much tell him to grab the other pad an play some decent PS3 two player games with you. Even then, your together time should not always be dictated by solely games. One evening you stick Little Big Planet or Portal 2 on, another a film or out for a meal. But don't be sitting around like a chump finding your own entertainment whilst in the same room doing essentially seperate tasks, no matter how much talking is taking place during him playing WOW and you on Metal Gear it's not true companionship and interaction. There needs to be a balance.

[Submisfit]

...No, you can't. Let's be generous and give you a regular 9-5 job with an average commute, you wake up at 7, get ready, head to work, get back at 6-ish. You eat dinner and get chores done, 7 rolls around. How is the excess time going to be divided between 5 hours of gaming, a healthy social life and a girlfriend?

 

5 hours a day is just ridiculous unless it's a temporary situation - ie you're a student on break or something. I am well acquainted with the gaming community and nobody with a full-time job and a healthy R and social life plays that much everyday. Those that do are sacrificing something - usually time with their girlfriend.

 

 

 

Agreed.

I played for a while, but didn't have a full time job. My rough schedule at the time was

up at 9.00

class from 10.00-2.00 (until 5.00 twice/wk)

meals at 12ish and 6ish with friends or partner (or both)

8.00-12.30 raiding 4 days/wk, with probably another day's worth of that play time for arena with some RL friends.

I socialized at meals with people every day, and went out to do stuff 3 days per week. Skip the occasional raid if I have a school project or something. Had time to go to the gym at least an hour a week, and weekends were largely free for whatever. 5 hours between 2.00 and 6.00 (and then 7.00 to 8.00) to do whatever; sometimes hw, sometimes friends, sometimes other leisure like reading a book.

If I'd tried to work in addition to spending >20 hrs in class per week, I might have had to cut back. Overall though, it was VERY doable. I pulled a 3.86 in a biochemistry/microbiology double major at that time. (Have since transferred schools, so everything is different.)

That said, i did quit. I like having more unscheduled free time (as opposed to scheduling a raid 4 nights per week,) and the game got old and boring.

[Els]

I played for a while, but didn't have a full time job. My rough schedule at the time was

up at 9.00

class from 10.00-2.00 (until 5.00 twice/wk)

meals at 12ish and 6ish with friends or partner (or both)

8.00-12.30 raiding 4 days/wk, with probably another day's worth of that play time for arena with some RL friends.

I socialized at meals with people every day, and went out to do stuff 3 days per week. Skip the occasional raid if I have a school project or something. Had time to go to the gym at least an hour a week, and weekends were largely free for whatever. 5 hours between 2.00 and 6.00 (and then 7.00 to 8.00) to do whatever; sometimes hw, sometimes friends, sometimes other leisure like reading a book.

If I'd tried to work in addition to spending >20 hrs in class per week, I might have had to cut back. Overall though, it was VERY doable. I pulled a 3.86 in a biochemistry/microbiology double major at that time. (Have since transferred schools, so everything is different.)

That said, i did quit. I like having more unscheduled free time (as opposed to scheduling a raid 4 nights per week,) and the game got old and boring.

 

College is different, IMO, because, as you said, it's about 20 hours per week. Full-time work is at least 40, usually more. Most people who work full-time simply cannot live a healthy life and maintain a relationship while spending 5 hours a day gaming. I've never seen it, and I know a lot of gamers. The only people who work full time and still game 5 hours a day are either very unhealthy, very socially inactive or single, or very quickly turn single... usually a combination of all the above.

 

At any rate, I think the biggest issue with the OP is that the excessive play is cutting into his time with her, and she's likely to make it worse if she bends over backwards by playing with him just to try and salvage some morsel of time with him. I've seen girls do it and it never works out. The guy becomes even more complacent because he views their playing time as 'us time', so he makes even less effort to spend time with her outside the game. Not to mention that doing so makes a girl an enormous doormat. Time together should be a mutual effort, not one person constantly trying to get some.

 

P.S. 4.5 hour raids 4 times a week is a lot, geesh! The most I have ever raided was probably 3 hours 3-4x/week, and that was when we were server 3rd doing hard mode Ulduar. It was still a pretty big time investment that I would not have been able to afford had I not also been in college at the time.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Elswyth

[Submisfit]

College is different, IMO, because, as you said, it's about 20 hours per week. Full-time work is at least 40, usually more. Most people who work full-time simply cannot live a healthy life and maintain a relationship while spending 5 hours a day gaming. I've never seen it, and I know a lot of gamers. The only people who work full time and still game 5 hours a day are either very unhealthy, very socially inactive or single, or very quickly turn single... usually a combination of all the above.

 

At any rate, I think the biggest issue with the OP is that the excessive play is cutting into his time with her, and she's likely to make it worse if she bends over backwards by playing with him just to try and salvage some morsel of time with him. I've seen girls do it and it never works out. The guy becomes even more complacent because he views their playing time as 'us time', so he makes even less effort to spend time with her outside the game. Not to mention that doing so makes a girl an enormous doormat. Time together should be a mutual effort, not one person constantly trying to get some.

 

P.S. 4.5 hour raids 4 times a week is a lot, geesh! The most I have ever raided was probably 3 hours 3-4x/week, and that was when we were server 3rd doing hard mode Ulduar. It was still a pretty big time investment that I would not have been able to afford had I not also been in college at the time.

I played enhance shaman and later DK in a server first, US ranked top 20 guild (I was there for M'uru in SW through Ragnaros in HFirelands.) Our schedule was actually pretty light compared to others of that caliber, and during farm time, that usually dropped to a single 4 hour raid per week, with another day of alt raid. I think I could do it again if I were in school + pt job (amounting to 35-40 hrs/wk,) but as I said, I definitely prefer having my off time less tightly scheduled.

Edit: and in my prior post, I meant at least an hour a day every day of the week at the gym. Only working out for an hour/week would certainly indicate a problem!

[Els]

Welcome back, JohnM!

 

Even then, your together time should not always be dictated by solely games. One evening you stick Little Big Planet or Portal 2 on, another a film or out for a meal. But don't be sitting around like a chump finding your own entertainment whilst in the same room doing essentially seperate tasks, no matter how much talking is taking place during him playing WOW and you on Metal Gear it's not true companionship and interaction. There needs to be a balance.

 

Quoted for so much truth.

 

I played enhance shaman and later DK in a server first, US ranked top 20 guild (I was there for M'uru in SW through Ragnaros in HFirelands.) Our schedule was actually pretty light compared to others of that caliber, and during farm time, that usually dropped to a single 4 hour raid per week, with another day of alt raid.

 

Ah, okay, then that is really quite reasonable. I think the top guild in our server was putting in more than that and I'm not even sure what they were ranked overall. I don't think I could ever justify that amount of time to myself though, not unless I was angling for professional gamer or something. I'd recommend that anyone who has the desire to do so, do so when they're either in college or single, though. Preferably both.

 

I think I could do it again if I were in school + pt job (amounting to 35-40 hrs/wk,)

 

We'll see if/when it happens. A 20-hour difference per week makes a huge difference. How much time did you spend with your gf during your time, though? Was she happy with it?

[Submisfit]

Welcome back, JohnM!

 

 

 

Quoted for so much truth.

 

 

 

Ah, okay, then that is really quite reasonable. I think the top guild in our server was putting in more than that and I'm not even sure what they were ranked overall. I don't think I could ever justify that amount of time to myself though, not unless I was angling for professional gamer or something. I'd recommend that anyone who has the desire to do so, do so when they're either in college or single, though. Preferably both.

 

 

 

We'll see if/when it happens. A 20-hour difference per week makes a huge difference. How much time did you spend with your gf during your time, though? Was she happy with it?

I had 3 partners total over that total span of my life. The first relationship was sort of on its way out even when I picked the game up because we'd gone to university 1.000 miles away from each other, and LDRs are really hard. The second and third didn't mind at all. With Emily (the third,) I'd see her probably 5 days a week, and we'd talk for at least an hour every single day. We'd hang out at hers, mine, or on campus quite a bit, and go on out probably 2-3 nights of the week. She never voiced any concerns, and given how upset she was when the relationship ended, I don't think that she was particularly dissatisfied with the relationship.

The first girl (LDR) did express a bit of disdain fwiw, saying she thought I could devote that time to things that would improve my life, like picking up a second major or learning to play another musical instrument.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Submisfit
I don't think unsatisfied is a word.

[gaius]

Like he talks to me doesn't ignore while playing, but I want to interact with him so i was thinking should I join him and play WOW? is it easy game to learn? Never played a PC. Or I should shut up and let him do his own thing and let him play with his guild friends.

It's a risk either way. I wouldn't say it's an easy game to play. For pros like Elswyth and others who have been around since vanilla and BC it seems easy nowadays but for someone who's never played before? Leveling your character to 90, gearing up, learning rotations and playing at a top level might take a year or more of regular practice to really master. If he's playing at a high level he might resent you for dragging him away to babysit a noob. You might resent him if he decides not to help you out and instead stay with his guildies. One of my old guildies got his girlfriend to play after she was complaining he was playing too much. He wanted to do his own stuff in the game so he got another male guildie to babysit her, and eventually they ended up getting romantically involved and the original couple broke up.

 

You might end up finding it to be an activity you can bond over or it might make the relationship worse. I tried introducing one girl I was seeing into it and it didn't work out well when I left her to do something else, so from now on I try to keep those worlds separate. If I ever start playing again that is. I'm on break for now.

[ltjg45]

It's a risk either way. I wouldn't say it's an easy game to play. For pros like Elswyth and others who have been around since vanilla and BC it seems easy nowadays but for someone who's never played before? Leveling your character to 90, gearing up, learning rotations and playing at a top level might take a year or more of regular practice to really master.

 

I agree with this. I played since Vanilla. Now, with Mists of Pandaria out, I'm better than most players only because I know what it takes to succeed at a high level but, just like relationships, I never put my potential out there to be taken advantage of.

 

As for a new player? There is a learning curve. While I did say that I'm better than most players, I'm overall average in game skill. This game has been dumbed down to the point where if you can do BWL/AQ20/AQ40 in Vanilla, you can handle any PvE content within Mists of Pandaria will practice, including Hard Mode content.

[Els]

I had 3 partners total over that total span of my life. The first relationship was sort of on its way out even when I picked the game up because we'd gone to university 1.000 miles away from each other, and LDRs are really hard. The second and third didn't mind at all. With Emily (the third,) I'd see her probably 5 days a week, and we'd talk for at least an hour every single day. We'd hang out at hers, mine, or on campus quite a bit, and go on out probably 2-3 nights of the week. She never voiced any concerns, and given how upset she was when the relationship ended, I don't think that she was particularly dissatisfied with the relationship.

The first girl (LDR) did express a bit of disdain fwiw, saying she thought I could devote that time to things that would improve my life, like picking up a second major or learning to play another musical instrument.

 

Ah, cool, that's pretty interesting.

 

I was perfectly fine with a guy spending 5+ hours a day on games when I was in college, because, well, we're in college! As long as we're doing well in classes, there didn't seem a reason not to 'party it up' in the ways that we enjoyed.

 

After graduation, though, things change. Every single person whom I played with in college has had to buckle down and (try to) face real life. We all still do play, but closer to ~2 hours a day than 5. I would not be with a guy who games ~35 hours a week anymore, because I feel that someone my age range (mid-late 20s) should be balancing his life out instead of doing the crazy college thing. And I think I'm on the more video-game-accepting side of womankind.

 

 

It's a risk either way. I wouldn't say it's an easy game to play. For pros like Elswyth and others who have been around since vanilla and BC it seems easy nowadays but for someone who's never played before? Leveling your character to 90, gearing up, learning rotations and playing at a top level might take a year or more of regular practice to really master. If he's playing at a high level he might resent you for dragging him away to babysit a noob. You might resent him if he decides not to help you out and instead stay with his guildies. One of my old guildies got his girlfriend to play after she was complaining he was playing too much. He wanted to do his own stuff in the game so he got another male guildie to babysit her, and eventually they ended up getting romantically involved and the original couple broke up.

 

You might end up finding it to be an activity you can bond over or it might make the relationship worse. I tried introducing one girl I was seeing into it and it didn't work out well when I left her to do something else, so from now on I try to keep those worlds separate. If I ever start playing again that is. I'm on break for now.

 

Eesh, very good point. The bolded pretty much happened to me in a previous relationship. I made the exact same mistake the OP is intending to make - my ex had just left for another country and he was putting in very little effort into making the LDR work because most of his online time was devoted to WoW (to be fair, he hadn't done that when we were together IRL). So I thought, hey, why don't I start playing, then we can play together?

 

Bad bad bad mistake. I still maintain that it wasn't THAT hard , even though I started in early TBC, which was a horrible time to be a newbie and an even worse time to be a mage. I had a crappy computer with 6 fps, a laggy connection... and nobody wanted a mage in their raid at that point, the top guild in our server used to get one in to summon a table and then kick him out . Our guild had 3. I was the 3rd in terms of pecking order, so after I got to 70, the ex (prot warr ) still went off raiding without me. Anyway, that was the straw that broke the camel's back, though in retrospect I'm glad it broke. There was just so much wrong with that R.

 

On the other hand, sharing gaming as a hobby has helped the bf and I (especially during our LDR time), but that's because I came from a totally different premise. It wasn't "he's spending too little time with me so I'm trying to fix it by playing with him cause that's the only way I think I can get some time with him". It was "we both enjoy doing this so we want to do it together". It makes a world of difference.

[Els]

I agree with this. I played since Vanilla. Now, with Mists of Pandaria out, I'm better than most players only because I know what it takes to succeed at a high level but, just like relationships, I never put my potential out there to be taken advantage of.

 

As for a new player? There is a learning curve. While I did say that I'm better than most players, I'm overall average in game skill. This game has been dumbed down to the point where if you can do BWL/AQ20/AQ40 in Vanilla, you can handle any PvE content within Mists of Pandaria will practice, including Hard Mode content.

 

Also, I don't think hard mode in MoP is 'easy' (well, not as of a month ago when I still played). Definitely not as punishing as AQ40, but it still was not what I had in mind when I said 'so easy a 5 yo could do it' - I was talking about leveling and maybe some heroics or LFR.

[ltjg45]

Also, I don't think hard mode in MoP is 'easy' (well, not as of a month ago when I still played). Definitely not as punishing as AQ40, but it still was not what I had in mind when I said 'so easy a 5 yo could do it' - I was talking about leveling and maybe some heroics or LFR.

 

Yeah. It's not that easy.

 

It's doable to anyone willing to put in the effort for it. Unfortunately, there is a very low number of players capable of putting that kind of effort into it.

 

I would do it but I really don't feel like spending money transferring my characters just to find one decent guild that can tackle Hard Mode content. I value my sanity higher than that.

[Els]

Yeah. It's not that easy.

 

It's doable to anyone willing to put in the effort for it. Unfortunately, there is a very low number of players capable of putting that kind of effort into it.

 

I would do it but I really don't feel like spending money transferring my characters just to find one decent guild that can tackle Hard Mode content. I value my sanity higher than that.

 

Time is probably a big factor for most people. I was raiding with the same guild I'd done HM Ulduar with (which most people would argue was more difficult) back when I was in college. So skill wasn't an issue, but we'd all just grown up and had commitments. Some of them graduated, some got married to their LT gfs, a few even had children! So we had to cut down to 3 hours of raiding twice a week. It's a good thing IMO. RL is way more important.