He doesn't text as much anymore?

[syw0806]

I just started seeing this guy, we are not boyfriend/girlfriend but we don't date anyother people. At the beginning, he acted like he just wants to have a casual relationship.. He would text me few times everyday, but it's dirty text 95% of the times.

However, lately, he's been being very caring, affectionate, cuddly..

I slept over at his place last night and we were totally like a couples.

I just can feel he def. likes me more than just fwb or anything before, then again, he barely texts me now.

He used to give me a text right after our meet ups, and like I said, few times a day even tho it's filthy text. It's not that he doesn't contact me anymore tho. He would text me everyday, but we exchange few words and that's it. and also now he doesn't really text dirty anymore. Most of the time he's the one who initiates texts and he always replies me..

 

He had bad experience in prev relationship with his ex. He told me she's a pain and even now she's being clingy.. and seems like he's afraid to date or having a girlfriend anymore because of his previous relationship. He told me we shouldn't see eachother everyday because we'll get sick of eachother..we meet up 2-3 times a week and always spend weekends together.

I'm thinking maybe now that he developed real feelings to me, he doesn't want to be seem as clingy?? I know he texts other ppl, so it's not that he's too busy to text.

 

I'm so confused because now I can def. see and feel that he cares me and likes me, but then he doesn't text me as much

[gypsysoul28]

Hi:

 

I think depending on how long you have been seeing this guy you can try one or two things:

 

1. The backoff--if he texts you after a day or so --you wait the same amount of time to text back or you don't text back at all until you receive the second text. Also only see him one day of the weekend or not at all for one particular weekend.

 

2. As to talk to him about where you are in your relationship--be sure you think you are both ready to have this conversation.

[Cutiepie1976]

...I just can feel he def. likes me more than just fwb or anything before, then again, he barely texts me now.

.....

 

He had bad experience in prev relationship with his ex. He told me she's a pain and even now she's being clingy.. and seems like he's afraid to date or having a girlfriend anymore because of his previous relationship. He told me we shouldn't see eachother everyday because we'll get sick of eachother..we meet up 2-3 times a week and always spend weekends together.

I'm thinking maybe now that he developed real feelings to me, he doesn't want to be seem as clingy?? I know he texts other ppl, so it's not that he's too busy to text.

 

I'm so confused because now I can def. see and feel that he cares me and likes me, but then he doesn't text me as much

 

Unfortunately, from my perspective, it seems you're taking the feelings you've developed for him and are projecting those on him.

 

• Fact: He's cut back drastically on communicating with you.
  
• Fact: He has placed artificial, arbitrary restrictions around how often you see each other. He's doesn't want to see you that often, and it's making a point of keeping you at arm's length.
  
• Fact: He's complained that his ex was clingy. He doesn't want a repeat.
  

 

Everything about his pulling back says that this is just a physical arrangement when it's convenient for him, and possibly his interest is now flagging. There is nothing here to indicate that he has developed feelings for you. If anything, he's making it abundantly clear that it is nothing more. You are likely to get hurt if you proceed with your seemingly unfounded conviction that he now has feelings and wants to be more than FWB.

 

If you want to be more than just his F-buddy, then tell him you need more. But honestly, since he is pretty clear about his expectations about your arrangement, such a conversation seems almost pointless. Besides, many men have a different set of criteria for women they consider girlfriend material vs. hookups and FWBs. You would probably be better served to find someone who wants the same things that you do from the outset, which appears, based on the hopes you're voicing here, to be a relationship.

[syw0806]

Unfortunately, from my perspective, it seems you're taking the feelings you've developed for him and are projecting those on him.

 

• Fact: He's cut back drastically on communicating with you.
  
• Fact: He has placed artificial, arbitrary restrictions around how often you see each other. He's doesn't want to see you that often, and it's making a point of keeping you at arm's length.
  
• Fact: He's complained that his ex was clingy. He doesn't want a repeat.
  

Everything about his pulling back says that this is just a physical arrangement when it's convenient for him, and possibly his interest is now flagging. There is nothing here to indicate that he has developed feelings for you. If anything, he's making it abundantly clear that it is nothing more. You are likely to get hurt if you proceed with your seemingly unfounded conviction that he now has feelings and wants to be more than FWB.

 

If you want to be more than just his F-buddy, then tell him you need more. But honestly, since he is pretty clear about his expectations about your arrangement, such a conversation seems almost pointless. Besides, many men have a different set of criteria for women they consider girlfriend material vs. hookups and FWBs. You would probably be better served to find someone who wants the same things that you do from the outset, which appears, based on the hopes you're voicing here, to be a relationship.

 

Wow why I didn't realize this...ugh

The reason I thought he now develops his feeling was because he just acts like he is my boyfriend when we see each other. and he wasn't like this before.. He asks me multiple times everytime I see him that if I missed him(which i kept saying no because I was afraid..) and says he did, he gets jealous over other guys, he likes to cuddle, kisses me forehead, cheeck like being affectionate even when were not having it.. you know there are small things all come together show that he changed..

I think you are right, if liked me more than before he'd at least text me a lot.. but then why he's not acting like in the beginnig? because very beginning he acted he didn't give a **** about me.. which was way better for me to not get attatched and be clear about the relationship.

Why he would change his actions like this..? now he is acting like a boyfriend when we're together. so should I just cut contact and see how it goes..?

[HitMeNow]

Wow why I didn't realize this...ugh

The reason I thought he now develops his feeling was because he just acts like he is my boyfriend when we see each other. and he wasn't like this before.. He asks me multiple times everytime I see him that if I missed him(which i kept saying no because I was afraid..) and says he did, he gets jealous over other guys, he likes to cuddle, kisses me forehead, cheeck like being affectionate even when were not having it.. you know there are small things all come together show that he changed..

I think you are right, if liked me more than before he'd at least text me a lot.. but then why he's not acting like in the beginnig? because very beginning he acted he didn't give a **** about me.. which was way better for me to not get attatched and be clear about the relationship.

Why he would change his actions like this..? now he is acting like a boyfriend when we're together. so should I just cut contact and see how it goes..?

 

Dont listen to the poster above. This guy is obviously falling for you and in denial....

 

How do you think you make him feel when you tell him you haven't missed him............... Would you wanna txt someone who told you that?

 

Just care more about him and tell him that you would like him to text you more often. Problem solved

[silvermercy]

You will get mixed opinions here. I, too, based on your posts don't see anything else more than a pure superficial casual relationship.

 

It'd be great to tell you that he's developing feelings for you, but then it'd sound like wishful thinking. It's better to have lower expectations than living in the hope that something will happen for ages and ages. And never happening. Do you know how many men (and women) treat their f-buddies like actual partners? The impossibly sweet talk and gestures? You'd confuse them for real couples sometimes. So your friend "changing" means nothing long-term. Anyway, that's why most people advise against FWB arrangements. At some point, one of the two parties (usually the woman) starts developing feelings and wants more. Most of the times, this never progresses to anything. Someone gets hurt.

 

Now the only thing's for sure is that you need to have a very clear and extensive conversation of where this going. In the highly unlikely possibility that he's indeed as interested as you'd want him to be, then great! But also be prepared and realistic about it. Having false hope is not healthy.

[AverageCat]

Have a convo with him already.

 

When a guy tells you he missed you, and ESPECIALLY IF HE ASKS IF YOU MISSED HIM. He's looking for validation from you, meaning you are someone important to him... I think.

 

Talk to him