healthnut Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Question, I am a married woman, and met someone about a year ago at a party who is not my husband. I was attracted to him, and was not married at the time. Nothing has happened between us, however, he claims through conversations at the party that he really likes me. Anyway, I ran into him again and he told me that he's never met anyone like me and that he wanted it to go further; both in trying to pursue a relationship as well as other things (use your imagination). My question is this: While he's emailed me, I haven't responded. Don't get me wrong, he's quite sexy, however, I'm married. It's a bit hard resisting him, but I know that's the right thing to do. I haven't contacted him at all, and wanted to know what type of person goes after a married woman? He seems nice, but I view this as a flaw in character. Anyone have any opinions on this? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Well I dated a married man while I was married and I have talked to mm who went after mw. This kind of relationship is cool to the married man because he knows that you have someone at home and you will not try to take him away from his wife. He is missing something at home but he does not want to leave so you are the perfect person to date and what not. What happens is that when you are stressed out by your mate and he is stressed out about his mate , you to will become a crutch for each other as well as sexually. It will change your marriage. It will stir your emotions and depending on how strong relationship gets, it could destroy your marriage or his. I advise...dont start none, wont be none. Not judging ....just sharing. Either way. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 what kind of person pursues a married individual? obviously someone who doesn't have a whole hell of a lot of respect for said person! personally, I think you're better off savoring the possibility of his attraction to you (kind an emergency bar of chocolate for when you get the sugar blues) and leaving at that. Or, as it's been pointed out on this board in various other posts, fantasy is much, much more satisfying than reality. And a lot less messy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author healthnut Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 That was good information from you, I thank you for your response. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 You're playing with fire. Respect your solemn commitment to your husband. If you cannot, set him free. He deserves a woman that will. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 I haven't contacted him at all, and wanted to know what type of person goes after a married woman? He seems nice, but I view this as a flaw in character. Anyone have any opinions on this? I agree. Knowing that the guy who was hitting on me was attached was an immediate turn off. And I was always ballsy enough to let him know it, too. Ended his "interest" almost instantly. Verbal castration?? However, if I had even considered encouraging or responding to his advances, I would have to wonder if I might have the same character flaw. For me, if I had to choose between the lesser of the two evils, I'd rather be considered a snobby b*tch than someone gullible and desperate enough to accept someone else's damaged goods. Tweren't no ego boost or much of a challenge for me! Besides, I feel somewhat obliged to my fellow females. I respect other people as much as I try to respect myself. And if I'm going to find happiness and contentment with my life…it won't come at another person's expense. It just isn't worth having if I have to steal (or borrow it) from someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO desperate enough to accept someone else's damaged goods. ...awesome way of wording that! Link to post Share on other sites
jnglebuty Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Thanks for starting thread. I recently found myself in a similar situation. Everyone's words of wisdom helped me snap out of it. Here's the sitch: This really cute, Asian guy who works in my neighborhood has been flirting with me for a few years now. Every time I buy something in that store, he holds my hand and gazes into my eyes while he gives me my change. He was always really subtle and sweet. I liked him and was waiting for him to ask me out. Well, the other day, he was finally a little more 'forward' about his flirtation and let me know that he was interested in me sexually. I thought well, at least he's taking it a step further and flirted with him, too. Then I asked him if he was married...and he chuckled, hemmed and hawed. I was so disappointed. I was really hoping that he was single, but he's married and still wanted to know if we could be intimate!! I didn't cuss him out, but maybe I should have. I just smiled and got out of the store. Afterwards, I was thinkin that maybe I could be friends with him and go out to lunch or dinner with him, but I stopped myself because I kept replaying his true intentions in my mind. He wasn't interested in getting to know me...he wanted sex, plain and simple. I'm no angel, but I didn't feel like doing that to his wife even though I've never met her. Anyway, so thanks for this thread. I won't get involved at all (not even lunch). Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I didn't cuss him out, but maybe I should have. I just smiled and got out of the store You should have cussed his butt all the way out. I hate this kind of stuff now. He is a a**hole period! You go girl for being strong and doing what is better for you in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author healthnut Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 I'm glad I started the thread, and have found that all of the threads/posts here have helped snap me out of it. I haven't talked/emailed him, even though he emailed me. I actually when in and blocked his email address. Here's the thing: I love my husband, and wouldn't ever want to hurt him. I'm taking all of the sexy thoughts I had and putting them towards my husband. I wouldn't want him to do that to me, and I also don't want to be a statistic. You are all so wonderful, and I wish you a wonderful, blessed Labor Day weekend. Good job by the way and not accepting his advances Link to post Share on other sites
jnglebuty Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Thanks jvjrose & healthnut!! I know it's hard when the guy is sexy, but we can be strong and at the end of the day, we're each responsible for our own decisions. I'm glad that I didn't give that guy my number and it's gonna stay that way...'cause trust me, karma's a beyotch (I know)!! Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Yeah, we really have to look out for each other. we really do. We need to help each think when our hearts takes over and we are not logically thinking anymore. For some reason we always do that. I wish i wasnt so womanly sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
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