I want to travel hardcore. But I'm single...

[Standard-Fare]

31/F. For the most part I do pretty well being single, and I'd say it's more my natural state than being in a relationship. But the thing I hate most about singledom is that it holds me back from the serious desire I have for travel.

 

Over the past few years especially this hunger has been rising in me, in a "life is short, I ain't getting any younger, and I want to see the world while I'm alive" way. It's more important to me than a lot of things, including job or financial stability, owning a house, etc. It's the type of thing where, were I diagnosed with something terrible today, I know I'd regret having not done it.

 

I have a core group of good friends, but attempts to corral them into trips have always failed. They're mostly married and the fact is if they're going to do any serious trips they're doing those with their spouses. And I'm not going to third-wheel it with a married couple.

 

And though I'm fully comfortable doing short trips on my own, I'm not sure how cool I am going solo on something more intensive. Not only does it not feel 100 percent safe, as a woman, but I do think it would be a bit lonely eating meals alone, going to the hotel alone at night, and in general not sharing the experience with someone else.

 

This has become a serious quandary for me. Any thoughts?

[Els]

I would think that it would be easier traveling single than if you were in a committed R or even more so, if you had a family with young children. A few people manage to find a partner who loves to travel with them and can sync with them in terms of job schedules, finances, and travel preferences, but in most cases it makes things more complicated.

 

If it's so important to you, you should do it. There are plenty of group tours for solo travelers to mingle and meet people if you want that - I think SG suggested contiki, and Emilia had a few good suggestions that I can't recall off the top of my head either. If you don't fancy the group thing then choose a safe destination - there are plenty of women backpacking alone through Western Europe, Canada, NZ, and Aussie.

[Taramere]

I've travelled on my own, but mainly just to the "tried and tested" safe places. Europe and North America - easy, but friendliness varies from hostel to hostel. Some places (Barcelona, Eastern Europe) I found I pretty much had a ready made group of friends at the hostels as soon as I arrived. Other places were a bit more hit and miss.

 

Australia and New Zealand are fabulous places to go. The challenge would be getting time to yourself when you want it more than finding company if you're staying in hostels. If you're doing outdoor activities, which presumably you would be if you're travelling, then even better. I totally recommend it, and I second Elswyth's view that you're more likely to make friends if you're on your own.

 

Periodically I would see female twosomes in hostels who would give out a bit of an antisocial vibe and not seem as though they were having that great a time. As soon as you're travelling with other people, all it takes is one person being a bit control freakish/rigid about how they want to spend their time in particular places to cramp your style. Better to go alone, I say, as long as you're sticking to relatively safe routes.

[Standard-Fare]

I don't even know how to go about this, even, and I know I would get some raised eyebrows and possibly even pity from people in my life (well, at least my parents) if I pursued this, but I think you guys are right. Traveling solo is the answer. I'm actually interested in some sort of service trip where I could then do a little traveling on my own. Trying to think about what locations might be safe for that.

[FitChick]

I traveled all over Europe by myself when I graduated from college. I had never traveled locally beyond a few hundred miles and that was with family.

 

If you aren't comfortable, go with a group. My alumni association always offers trips.

[FitChick]

I know I would get some raised eyebrows and possibly even pity from people in my life.

 

I think you mean ENVY.

[Els]

I think you mean ENVY.

 

I can understand what she means. My family are ultra-conservative, they think women should not do anything alone, but rather wait for a guy to take them with them. Women who travel alone are pitied in that culture because it implies that they have no guy willing to take them so they have no choice but to do it alone.

 

Which is all absolute hogwash, IMO, but I can understand where the statement is coming from.

 

In the end, though, those other people are not going to be living our lives or dealing with the consequences. They aren't going to be the ones deeply in regret that they did not seize the opportunity to do what they wanted to and loved when they could. The saddest life is one lived to please everyone except yourself.

 

Go for it, OP!

[drpepper1886]

I'm in, where are we going?

[todreaminblue]

31/F. For the most part I do pretty well being single, and I'd say it's more my natural state than being in a relationship. But the thing I hate most about singledom is that it holds me back from the serious desire I have for travel.

 

Over the past few years especially this hunger has been rising in me, in a "life is short, I ain't getting any younger, and I want to see the world while I'm alive" way. It's more important to me than a lot of things, including job or financial stability, owning a house, etc. It's the type of thing where, were I diagnosed with something terrible today, I know I'd regret having not done it.

 

I have a core group of good friends, but attempts to corral them into trips have always failed. They're mostly married and the fact is if they're going to do any serious trips they're doing those with their spouses. And I'm not going to third-wheel it with a married couple.

 

And though I'm fully comfortable doing short trips on my own, I'm not sure how cool I am going solo on something more intensive. Not only does it not feel 100 percent safe, as a woman, but I do think it would be a bit lonely eating meals alone, going to the hotel alone at night, and in general not sharing the experience with someone else.

 

This has become a serious quandary for me. Any thoughts?

 

as a single woman , whose heart felt dream is to one day travel and see the world and meet as many people as i can.....i have thought about this long and hard, it seems selfish to want to have a realtionship simply not to be alone in anything ....in saying that another dream of mine is too share my dream with a loving partner, who wants to help people too adn wants to see the world with me......if it never happens....i have thought of safety and satisfaction from travelling the world alone...i joined the navy as a teen ....it was strategic, it was to eb part fo an organisation that defended peopel and i would get to travel, and meet people and be part of a team that defended people, had great medical benefits and i actually got paid to help people, that was bonus so my travel woudl hav ebeen funded and appreciated...validated travel.......

 

 

i still follow those same lines....a safety net is an organization or even a church who looks after its members with passionate diligence.provides the direction and will always be there fro you if you hit some rough ground.....someone would know where you were at all times and family coudl eb contacted..you would not just be floating around in the atmosphere.....you would have that anchor and protection......a buddy is another idea this would take a massive amount of knowing the person you are with and trusting them a close friend or confidante who shares your interes....happy trails...i hope your dream comes true...with mien i have found a church that believes what i believe about people,a need to help them through trials and help as many as they can .... a faith that is true and just so ....one day...maybe even me.....ill have my dreams come true.......deb

[Scarlett5]

Hi Standard I'm in a similar situation, but I'm 28 this year. Really panicking lately because I've come to the realisation that my life's not turning out as I want it to, despite my efforts. Travelling is high on my agenda too - America & Australia. How long are you planning on going for....what are you going to do about your job & house, etc? Those are my obstacles, although I'm only renting so could give my flat up if need be.

 

I also agree with the others that it could be much more complicated if you had a b/f. And hey, you might even meet someone on your travels!

[CarrieT]

SF, I also had tremendous desire to travel but did not have the means until my early 40s. At that point, I was single and had no one to travel with and headed out on my own!

 

I did a number of international trips on my own and I was never pitied, often made good friends, and loved being able to set my own itinerary.

 

Don't wait! Just do it!

[carhill]

I found that connecting with other like-minded people through travel forums created a network of in-country friends to augment the solo time spent traveling. About the only 'group' thing I've ever done was a safari with some fellow docents for a month in Africa. I started traveling solo about 20 years ago and most of it has been solo, except for some trips I took with my exW while we were married.

 

Everywhere you travel to generally has people (the savannahs of Africa might be an exception) so you're never really 'alone'. It's just a matter of being friendly and gaining street smarts to stay safe in strange places. IMO, experience is the best teacher. Good luck.

[Emma11]

I'm in the same boat! I thought when I was younger I'd have that special guy to see the world with, but 24 and that recently came to a halt. Most of my friends are married/in serious relationships, so it seems like traveling solo might be my only option (corraling my single friends seems impossible!) Plus I don't feel safe doing it alone.

 

Have you considered traveling abroad or doing a mission trip of some sort? They can get expensive, but some are as short as two weeks. You'd be with people, travel and make a differencce in the world? I'm hoping to do it myself in the next few years, once my teaching salary is a little more stable!

[LFH]

31/F. For the most part I do pretty well being single, and I'd say it's more my natural state than being in a relationship. But the thing I hate most about singledom is that it holds me back from the serious desire I have for travel.

 

Over the past few years especially this hunger has been rising in me, in a "life is short, I ain't getting any younger, and I want to see the world while I'm alive" way. It's more important to me than a lot of things, including job or financial stability, owning a house, etc. It's the type of thing where, were I diagnosed with something terrible today, I know I'd regret having not done it.

 

I have a core group of good friends, but attempts to corral them into trips have always failed. They're mostly married and the fact is if they're going to do any serious trips they're doing those with their spouses. And I'm not going to third-wheel it with a married couple.

 

And though I'm fully comfortable doing short trips on my own, I'm not sure how cool I am going solo on something more intensive. Not only does it not feel 100 percent safe, as a woman, but I do think it would be a bit lonely eating meals alone, going to the hotel alone at night, and in general not sharing the experience with someone else.

 

This has become a serious quandary for me. Any thoughts?

 

I've traveled extensively, nearly always alone. Usually the first half of the trip is for business, the later part is always a week or so of vacation for me. I've met wonderful people, seen amazing places and experienced cultures EVERYWHERE.

 

I encourage you to do it. Take 1 trip and make sure you are safe... and then decide from there.

I've been to Southern and Central America/UK/China/Africa/England/Ireland/Italy/Japan/Thailand and an overall good chunk of SE Asia alone.

Travel books are good for reading at meals if you feel lonely, or better yet eat at the bar (you don't have to drink to do so I rarely if ever drink when I travel) and that gives you the opportunity to tallk with those that work there, that live there, that will share interesting things with you about that area.

 

Be safe of course, but don't be so safe that you talk yourself out of going anywhere. The world is an amazing place. You should see it.

[2sure]

Take one trip and you will not let this hold you back again.

 

Now, where to?

[LFH]

Take one trip and you will not let this hold you back again.

 

Now, where to?

 

I'd recommend somewhere politically stable for your first trip. Somewhere domestic even to start.

 

Where is one particular place that you've ALWAYS wanted to go?

[Standard-Fare]

Wow, just revisited this thread after a while and there's so many replies. For those of you women who have traveled alone in adulthood... please keep sharing. Where did you go, what did you do, how did you find the experience?

 

In response to some of the posts:

 

- As far as the "being pitied" comment, yeah, I think a lot of people in my life would just think: "It's a shame she doesn't have someone else, like a husband, to go with." I mean, hell, I even admit to the same type of thinking sometimes... a single female friend recently told me about her plans to go alone to a resort in Mexico for a week and I was privately thinking, "Wouldn't she have a better time doing that NOT alone?" Of course the other side of me is like, "Go for it, girl."

 

- Someone asked about housing/job realities. I admit I'm not a model example of a 31-year-old with financial and career stability. I've only rented, cheap places, and in the last few years I've valued scheduling flexibility above all else, gravitating toward a 75 percent reliance on freelancing. Which means, when I need to go somewhere, I can usually make it happen.

 

- As far as where I want to travel, high on the list right now are South America and Eastern Europe. That's as narrow as it gets at the moment.

[sweetkiwi]

Yeah. Don't sweat it. Go to safe cities like Berlin or Rome. I'll be your tourguide and you can pay me in booze.