Separating from my True Love!?

[Techie Artist]

Start exposing her cheating to everyone.

 

Start showing people the lying cheat that she really is!!!

 

Make her have consequences by revealing to everyone what sneaky things she's been up to, and hurry!

 

I don't agree at all. What good does it do to air one's dirty laundry? It's fine to inform your family that you and W are in a bad place. It's fine to choose a confidante to share what you're going thru. However, too many folks put their business in the streets. Once it's out, there's no retracting it. I see Facebook posts that are simply Too Much Information (T.M.I.)! Honor and respect yourself by keeping the message informative to those who need to know, but not detailed.

Edited March 24, 2013 by Techie Artist
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[GuyInLimbo]

Start exposing her cheating to everyone.

 

I'm sure she met him while traveling. I'm sure she's had sex with him. A man doesn't put those messages to a woman he's not intimate with.

 

And she never offered you her truth! You found evidence - yet she's still minimizing her involvement! She's cheating!

 

She needs consequences.

 

Start showing people the lying cheat that she really is!!!

 

And don't give her another minute of thinking she's a good woman - she's not!

 

Stop pretending she's great - a liar and cheater isn't a great person!

 

Make her have consequences by revealing to everyone what sneaky things she's been up to, and hurry!

 

What?? What the hell is the purpose in this? IT'S NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS! By doing that, you bring yourself down to their level. And you also make yourself look like a fool and and emotionally unstable maniac, IMO. You be the bigger person and move on. You accomplish nothing positive by doing this.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't agree at all. What good does it do to air one's dirty laundry? It's fine to inform your family that you and W are in a bad place. It's fine to choose a confidante to share what you're going thru. However, too many folks put their business in the streets. Once it's out, there's no retracting it. I see Facebook posts that are simply Too Much Information (T.M.I.)! Honor and respect yourself by keeping the message informative to those who need to know, but not detailed.

 

What?? What the hell is the purpose in this? IT'S NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS! By doing that, you bring yourself down to their level. And you also make yourself look like a fool and and emotionally unstable maniac, IMO. You be the bigger person and move on. You accomplish nothing positive by doing this.

 

Reasonable folks can differ on the effectiveness or lack thereof of exposure. But I hope we can all agree that if the OM is married or has an SO, that's the one person who should always be told.

 

Hef, do you know one way or the other whether the OM has a wife or SO? Time to throw a monkey wrench into the works, if for no other reason than that person deserves to know what's going on in their relationship. They have some decisions to make, too.

[worldgonewrong]

men become complacent because they think everything is fine and hunky dory.

Women become complacent because they get no encouragement or affection in the way they need.

 

I would add to that, some women (not all!) become complacent because their husband has put them on a pedestal. The 'thrill of the chase' is gone for them, and they perceive their men as weak because these guys treat their women like a goddess. Complacency turns to scorn then, and men can't figure out why.

[TaraMaiden]

I would in all seriousness, truly, like any woman on the brink of ending her marriage to her husband, to come forward and say he was treating her like a Goddess - but she is leaving because the effort to continue with the marriage is just too much for her to keep making.

 

No woman treated like a Goddess - and who feels treated that way, and recognises she's being treated that way - is going to leave a marriage.

No way.

I'm sorry, that is not a theory I can in any way shape or form, even begin to think about subscribing to.

[worldgonewrong]

Then you're lucky to have not many selfish people (female or male) in your life.

I've seen it time & time again.

Eventually the person (the giver) can't keep giving offerings to the person on the pedestal (who doesn't reciprocate), and the giver is condemned for not continuing the one-way relationship.

I've seen this happen in friendships, not just in marriages.

 

Of course you wouldn't see a selfish person step forward and admit that they took selfishly until the other person was bled dry. That's the nature of narcissistic women & men.

[worldgonewrong]

(clarification, in case that last sentence reads weird: those types of people are narcissists. Not you!)

[Steadfast]

Start exposing her cheating to everyone

 

Heated discussions about this. Generally and except for what I feel is a responsibility to tell the OM/OW's spouse, I advise the high road. IMO, this is the best action for the long run. In time and to those that really matter, the truth will come out. Better if it comes from someone other than you.

 

I do not see the logic in exposure to save face, shatter the cheater back into the marriage or involving family and friends. I don't want a spouse who was 'pushed' back. I want a spouse to want me. Otherwise? Be gone.

 

Women stick at it, and try and try and try and hold it all together and convince themselves to stay and make the effort - until breaking point is reached, they have nothing left to give, no further fasith in the relationship, and they throw in the towel.

 

Men chug along, complacently, assuming everything is fine, just going the sweet, old, usual way thay have been all along - and suddenly, blind-sided by their partner's announcement that this is over, they realise something needs to be done, they admit their faults and try to change - little realising that their partner has gone way beyond that point, and has no heart in it, any more.

 

Leaving out opinion whether this is actually right or wrong, it is true.

 

Women (please, in general) do seem to need or appreciate regular interaction and/or reconnecting. Problem? Too much and the man is needy, not enough and he's an uncaring pig. Truth? If the wife is sexually attracted, hubby can be the biggest a-hole on earth and she'll never leave him. Many women find this man interesting; a challenge. The thought of him with another woman boils their blood. It probably doesn't matter either way to the selfish, self-centered woman. She'll stay as long as it suits her.

 

No matter how attracted or in love a man is, most will mentally transform wifey into a younger version of mommy. Delivering food, clean clothes and affection when needed. Women are often possessions; another toy in the toy box. Is this wrong? Sure. But once the chase and capture is complete, it's on to the next challenge. Be it truck, fishing rod, golf club or whatever they think is needed to remain in good standing with the buddies.

 

Doesn't sound like love to me. Whoever said marriage is work spoke truth.

[worldgonewrong]

Whoever said marriage is work spoke truth.

 

When marriage is infused with love, it's not work.

 

When you're scrambling around to remember what love is, then it's work.

[Techie Artist]

I would in all seriousness, truly, like any woman on the brink of ending her marriage to her husband, to come forward and say he was treating her like a Goddess - but she is leaving because the effort to continue with the marriage is just too much for her to keep making.

 

No woman treated like a Goddess - and who feels treated that way, and recognises she's being treated that way - is going to leave a marriage.

No way.

I'm sorry, that is not a theory I can in any way shape or form, even begin to think about subscribing to.

 

IF (big IF) the W is a mental case, she may think that the H is weak because he worships her. This would be a very twisted individual. I've heard of one case of this.