Ex is pregnant, doesn't want back together...

[techno_hippy]

Hello, so I'm completely lost and don't know what to do...

 

My ex is pregnant, and there is an 85% chance it's mine.

 

So there's the problem, here's some history. A little over a year ago, I met this girl. I had been single for 7 years because I just didn't find anyone I thought worth pursuing. I wanted to find someone, and asked a friend if he knew anyone he could introduce me to. He showed me a picture on facebook of this girl, and I instantly fell for her. She was beautiful. So he says he'll introduce us. Over the next two weeks, I barely here from him. I found out later the day after our talk, he started hanging out with her everyday. So I meet her 2 weeks later, and instantly fall for her, a kind of love at first sight, though really more of a connection to her than love. We hang out for a couple weeks, "psychic" friend predicts she'll have my babies, etc.. Long story short, friend and I become enemies, she likes us both, she stops talking to us both (Ifind out llater this is due to her entering into severe depression), I promise I'll wait, never hear back. After a month or two, friend and I reconcile.

 

About 5 months go by. I'm so sick of thinking of her, I delete her from Facebook. Haven't spoken with her in months, so figure eh whatever.

 

Another month goes by, and I miss her so much I request friendship on the FB again. She accepts, and next day posts this image with the caption "give me another chance." So I take that as a sign and start talking to her. It becomes more frequent. She always talks through text, but never on phone or in person. Finally I say **** it and go to her place one night (after telling her what I'm doing and not taking no for an answer) and pick her up. We drive around for a while, when she suggests we go back to my place. And that's where it really starts.

 

For the next two months, we spend 90% of our time together, and she practically starts living at my place. I still live with my parents, and everything was working out. There were complications but we worked through everything. We officially start dating November 5th few more months go by, and everything's going good. We have fights every now and then, admittedly more than most couples, but we stuck it out.

 

We felt such love for eachother, even only being together for such a short time. We talked about getting married, how we were already married in her head, we talked about kids and a family, we almost bought a house!

 

Come end of January, we leave on a trip to Disney World for a week and a half... And it's a disaster. We fight about everything, she's texting some guy from work constantly, we break up and "get back together". It's bad.

 

We get back, and I drop her off at her parent's place. She asks for her keys back, but promises everything is alright. She promises she won't hang out with that guy from work unless I'm there. That night she parties at his place. A day later, she flakes on me when I pick her up when we planned to go back to my place, and breaks up with me on facebook without saying anything to me.

 

About a month goes by with me begging and her not responding. Eventually, we talk through email, and during a fight she tells me she's pregnant. The next couple days I'm a wreck, and then the 16th,she gives me a late valentine's gift, and re-adds me on FB. We talk and there's a high chance the kid is mine.

 

Come the 19th,she has me come by her old place. It's just her there. She gives me my birthday presents, and we actnice and caring towards eachother. She has me close my eyes and follow her. When I open them, iI'm staring at a positive pregnancy test as my last gift. She's definitely pregnant. We go out for food, have an argument over my mom, go back to her place and take a nap. We have sex. Remember, she's been official with this other guy since the 10th.

 

The next night, her and I are hanging out at a friends house, the same guy as a year ago. Her and I cuddle while watching a movie, he plays pc games. She exposesher but and jhas me feel how soft it is. I drive her home.

 

Since then, she's met me on breaks at work (after her visit with her new bf, a guy I work with) and we act like there are still feelings between us, but she's always hesitant because she doesn't feel it's right towards the other guy. Any time I bring up serious talk about the pregnancy, she gets defensive and says she just wants to talk about happy stuff, and how I always stress her out.

 

We have some blood tests scheduled for Wednesday of this week, but they can only tell us how long she has been pregnant I think. If it's enough time, it's mine. But it may be inconclusive.

 

She seems like she wants to stay with him, but she acts so... I don't know. And she got me tickets to a concert out of state, and she said she would go only if a 3rd person goes, but then she said she would go anyway, and now she's saying third party again.

 

I don't know what to do. I still love her, and if it's my kid, I don't want it being raised by another man or a single mom. I want my family, I want my child to have both of its parents. I want to be there for every step of its life. But i just don't know what to do...

 

I had more to say but she called me while I was writing this out. I'm just scatter brained now.

 

One last thing, she's bipolar, and has both the emotional and physical evidence of the pain from her past.

[pink_sugar]

You need to give her an ultimatum. It's you or the other guy.

 

As for not wanting the child to be raised by another man, well...you cannot really control that now, but you can get court ordered custody if the child is yours.

 

Next step would be a paternity test whenever you are able to get one.

[Radu]

Find out if it's yours.

You can get DNA testing on the child through her mother's blood, but i don't think it's yet approved from a legal pov.

 

You should not be worried that another man will raise your child, you should be worried that that woman will raise your child.

She sounds like a basket case, and being bipolar is no excuse as lots of ppl do take their medication and take care of themselves as bipolars.

 

My guess, from the flow of things, is that she is scared, has low self-esteem, and is playing both you and this other guy [and the former friend in the past] to get the best deal for her.

Ppl like her are bottomless pits that suck in affection and do not give back.

I don't think that part comes from her medical condition, though her medical condition and other factors might have exacerbated it.

 

PS: You also need to stand up more for yourself.