wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 So I've had a hectic morning bringing kids to schools with projects, accident on the road so get to work late. Rush in and getting myself settled and hurry to listen to my voicemail. The 3rd one has me completely shocked,dumbfounded and confused. "hey, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that I hurt you so much, I do love you, always will, but my kids have made it clear that if I leave their mother, I lose them and my grandsons. I can't lose my kids. I'm sorry" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would he do this????? I've got all this hate towards him right now for everything, so why did my heart drop when I heard his voice? I won't ever talk to him again, I hope to never see him again. Why did he have to do this?? He's hurt me so much, and all his call did was hurt me more!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 it sounds like he's feeling a prick to his conscience and is just trying to make himself feel better...at the expense of your feelings... that's rotten of him. I know t may not mean much when I say it, but you deserve better treatment than this. You are too good for him, and he's being a jerk. It's good that that you are angry ( not good tat you're hurt though). Use that anger to make yourself stronger and soon he won't be able to hurt you anymore, no matter what he may try to do. Thank you. I keep telling myself I'm stronger than this. I hate he still can make me feel so many emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Why? Because he sucks at life!! Can you block him? Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I believe he is trying to ease his conscience by "easing" it onto you. Now he feels better letting you know how much he cares for you and how (I believe he may be sincere here) Sorry he is that he hurt you. See? Now he can say he isn't a bad person, just a man who fell in love with another woman, acted on it, now has decided that his family is more important but still "feels bad" people got hurt. Can I be mad at him with you?! There was no constructive purpose at all in his message to you except to remind you he is still around, that he does care about you (not enough to leave), that he is sorry he hurt you and to ease his own mind. jackhole. I send you a ((hug))* 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Aw. Jerk. Want me to kick him really hard for you? Somewhere that it will hurt a lot? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Change numbers or block his. It's my work office #. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Why? Because he sucks at life!! Can you block him? I can't. It's my office phone # and I get calls from people from CA to NY. I can't even tell what # he called from with the way our phones work. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I can't. It's my office phone # and I get calls from people from CA to NY. I can't even tell what # he called from with the way our phones work. Ugh. Well, it will get easier as time goes by. Hopefully he just won't call again but if he does and you pick up, tell him not to, and if he leaves a message, don't listen to the whole thing..just delete it as soon as you hear his voice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I believe he is trying to ease his conscience by "easing" it onto you. Now he feels better letting you know how much he cares for you and how (I believe he may be sincere here) Sorry he is that he hurt you. See? Now he can say he isn't a bad person, just a man who fell in love with another woman, acted on it, now has decided that his family is more important but still "feels bad" people got hurt. Can I be mad at him with you?! There was no constructive purpose at all in his message to you except to remind you he is still around, that he does care about you (not enough to leave), that he is sorry he hurt you and to ease his own mind. jackhole. I send you a ((hug))* NOW he wants to have a conscience? Yes, please be mad with me. In the weeks after D-Day I wanted to hear this, not now. Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Call his wife and tell her he's stalking you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Call his wife and tell her he's stalking you. I thought about it but only a month or so ago she finally stopped texting and emailing me. Still blaming me 100%. Do I open that door again?? Then that opens the door to her getting back in with my BSO and that's a whole other story. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Hey Wanting More, Didn't he throw you under the bus during DDay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 So does this mean you cannot block his number? Not that I know of. I don't even know what # he called from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Hey Wanting More, Didn't he throw you under the bus during DDay? Yes he did. Completely under. Then rolled over me a few times. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Yes he did. Completely under. Then rolled over me a few times. Ok, you're life is out of control. Too many chaotic pieces moving in too many ways we would rather have them not move - and all at the same time. And, as it would happen, all tied together by one unifying string: YOU. Simplify. What is your goal? If you could script the end what do you write? What is important to you? Why? Can I reasonably expect to get "there"? If so how? If you have all these answers then the path ahead, and the decisions to be made, should be clear. All that's left is the execution - which, as luck would have it, YOU control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Ok, you're life is out of control. Too many chaotic pieces moving in too many ways we would rather have them not move - and all at the same time. And, as it would happen, all tied together by one unifying string: YOU. Simplify. What is your goal? If you could script the end what do you write? What is important to you? Why? Can I reasonably expect to get "there"? If so how? If you have all these answers then the path ahead, and the decisions to be made, should be clear. All that's left is the execution - which, as luck would have it, YOU control. My goal was to have xMM out of my mind. And I did great with that until today. I never had any intentions of calling him, and I still don't but I just hate that I heard his voice. That I had to hear all his bullsh*t lies to me. I don't care why he stayed. I don't care that he loves me. He hurt me, I felt bad, stupid, used, and I was working my way from that. I hate he called me. I hate I'm letting it get to me likd this. My end script would be xMM out of my life, my thoughts for good. My BSO is another story. Im still working on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Do it. He's calling you, tell his wife you wish to be left alone. If she doesn't believe you, she's the fool. It's worth it just saying, "your husband has left me 3 messages in the last 24 hours. I don't want anything to do with him." It's win/win all the way around. He'll leave you alone, and you'll get revenge bussing him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 It's amazing how something like the sound of a vocice can send us into this spiral, but I too heard "the voice", once not too long ago. I just had to hold on for the ride and get to the perverbial., "other side", so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I'm sorry wantingmore. What an ass for doing that to you, it serves no purpose for you, and is just a dirtbag move on his part. It matters not at this point if he really loves you or not. Even if he does, it's not the kind of love you should want or have. Usually I advocate telling the wife, in this case, no. She put all the blame on you and didn't believe you.......and you don't need to open that door again for several reasons. Make what is best for you the priority here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Do it. He's calling you, tell his wife you wish to be left alone. If she doesn't believe you, she's the fool. It's worth it just saying, "your husband has left me 3 messages in the last 24 hours. I don't want anything to do with him." It's win/win all the way around. He'll leave you alone, and you'll get revenge bussing him. I don't think it'll be a win/win here. I'm not sure. I blocked her from my phone but even if I did email her I just think thats opening the door for her again. The entire A was my fault in her eyes. I'm sure she wouldn't believe me anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 It's amazing how something like the sound of a vocice can send us into this spiral, but I too heard "the voice", once not too long ago. I just had to hold on for the ride and get to the perverbial., "other side", so to speak. 6 months. Over 6 months. Nothing from him. And I don't want anything from him. I didn't want to hear his voice. I surely don't want an apology anymore. Or to hear him say he loves me. It's all bullshi*. More of his lies. Makes me hate him even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanting more Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I'm sorry wantingmore. What an ass for doing that to you, it serves no purpose for you, and is just a dirtbag move on his part. It matters not at this point if he really loves you or not. Even if he does, it's not the kind of love you should want or have. Usually I advocate telling the wife, in this case, no. She put all the blame on you and didn't believe you.......and you don't need to open that door again for several reasons. Make what is best for you the priority here. Thank you. I feel the same. I dont want to go thru the blame game again with her. I can't sit again and hear the things he's told her about me to put all the blame on me. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 WAIT!!! I don't know if calling his Wife is a "good" thing to do in this instance. What is she going to say or email to the Wife? Hey your H called and left me a v.m. about how much he is sorry and missed me? Unless WantingMore can Forward the message from WH to BW that shows date and time, the BW will probably say it's all crap and lies... Wanting has finally had some peace from the BW and without proof the call was TODAY then I fear she will open herself up to the BW coming at her again and that's Awful!! This is probably the ONLY time I would vote for keeping the BW out of it, due to lack of proof and the volatility with which the Wife hounded WantingMore* 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Thank you. I feel the same. I dont want to go thru the blame game again with her. I can't sit again and hear the things he's told her about me to put all the blame on me. Oh yea, I relate to that too, WM. No, hearing the apology and I love you's aren't helping after being under the wheels. That must've been all for him as ahas been mentioned. Just keep doing what you've been doing. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Thank you. I feel the same. I dont want to go thru the blame game again with her. I can't sit again and hear the things he's told her about me to put all the blame on me. Good, you have done nothing, so do not open yourself up to that again. There is no reason at all to be her punching bag now. It's not your problem. xmm phoned me last summer, he didn't have the guts to actually speak. I considered letting her know, then I thought better of it. I did my part back then, would have even went to court with her if she had wanted, but she didn't go that route. He or their marriage is not my problem, not part of my life, I'm out and will stay out. That boat sailed a long time ago. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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