me as of now

[aMguilts]

No one can take the hurt from you Am... but you can keep getting it out... otherwise it keeps coming back...

wht else can i do?

[Steadfast]

you think you so ****ing smart dont you?

you think your **** dont stink?

 

No. I think it takes one to know one.

 

I too lost a woman I loved. Married 17-years, raised kids. I feel guilt for the things I did wrong. I lost everything. She didn't want me anymore. How does living through that make me arrogant? She sexed others. I'm not comparing my pain, or my life, to yours. I'm explaining that I was broken.

 

It takes pain to recognize pain. Many here do. Hating me isn't the answer, the solution or the best play, but if it makes you feel better, feel free.

 

Here's hoping you heal. Not because you're told, but because you want.

[aMguilts]

No. I think it takes one to know one.

 

I too lost a woman I loved. Married 17-years, raised kids. I feel guilt for the things I did wrong. I lost everything. She didn't want me anymore. How does living through that make me arrogant? She sexed others. I'm not comparing my pain, or my life, to yours. I'm explaining that I was broken.

 

It takes pain to recognize pain. Many here do. Hating me isn't the answer, the solution or the best play, but if it makes you feel better, feel free.

 

Here's hoping you heal. Not because you're told, but because you want.

 

thank you

i`ll be ok

1 day

aM

[Yasuandio]

im so tired

im so tired of trying

 

most of my keys dont work

cos of ammount of tears i`vbe got on them

 

If TRYING makes you tired, take a nap, and stop doing it. Trying is a waste of time anyway. DOING IS WHAT ACCOMPLISHES A GOAL.

 

Throw the keys out and stop crying. If you really need to open up something, you don't have to have keys.

 

You are going to be ok. Stop whining. Stop wanting. Stop needing.

Get a movie, get your mind off of it. Talk softly to yourself about your future goals as if they are a reality. Yes, Homer.

 

There are also some excellent posts on this thread as well. People care about you. I care about you. That means you are valued. In your real world, you are valued too, realize this.

 

Pull yourself together, and enjoy others now, while you can. I read somewhere, when you're feeling down, go visit a cancer ward where people are getting ready to take a dirt nap.

 

You can come out of this aM. Yas

[TaraMaiden]

wht else can i do?

 

Keep spinning until you feel absolutely sick and tired of feeling absolutely sick and tired.

 

That day will come.

That day, you will simply tell yourself, 'enough is enough', and that you refuse to put yourself through that schytt any more.

 

You will hate what you will have become, and you will determine from that day on to not do this for one more second.

 

So keep feeling the way you feel.

It will stop one day.

You may be reaching it soon.

This may be the sign that you are beginning to slough off the negative skin you've been wearing for too long.

 

Keep at it.

Keep ploughing, digging and falling.

At one point, you will just be too exhausted with the feeling to give it any more head-room.

 

Then.

 

You can climb.

[TaraMaiden]

Throw the keys out and stop crying. If you really need to open up something, you don't have to have keys.

 

He actually means his keyboard keys. The ones he's typing on.....

[Yasuandio]

He actually means his keyboard keys. The ones he's typing on.....

 

Oh, Homer talks a lot about people using the same key to try to solve problems. Sorry about that, aM, it was a Freudian slip. Yas

[TaraMaiden]

Everyone wants a key. Until they realise the door actually has no lock.

[Mack05]

AmG this is one of my favourite poems in the world..It's called Don't quit..

 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

 

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with another blow.

 

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor's cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

 

Success is failure turned inside out--

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit

Edited February 26, 2013 by Mack05

[TaraMaiden]

(That's in the same vein of sentiments as 'If', by Kipling.... Voted The UK's favourite poem, three years running.....)

 

One of my favourites is this one: I know aM has seen it, because he contributed in the same thread I previously posted it in....

 

1) I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost.....I am Hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

2) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I'm in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

 

3) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in......it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

4) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

 

5) I walk down another street.

 

Portia Nelson

[ver13]

There I stood the King of the Mountain,

lord over all that was below me...

But then I lost my balance and slid down to the valley,

How long will I fall?

How far down until I hit the bottom I wondered,

Why is this happening to me I screamed...

With a bump and roll I crashed through the brush,

Grasping for anything that would stop my perilious plight,

Then I realized that I hadn't really fallen to my end I was being pushed to a new begaining...

 

You see all of the bumps and scrapes that I recieved on the way down. Taught me what to watch for on the way back up.

[aMguilts]

you all know me

you know i`m not going to l;et this beat me

 

i`m at the lowest i`ve ever been im my life

i

the tears just cwont stop

but i know ,me too

they will stop soon

 

aM

[aMguilts]

thank you yas and tara

please dont fight, be friends:)

aM

[aMguilts]

i saw it, it meant nothing to me...sorry

 

i really have had enough:(

i got to see her in a few days time and i cant do this anymore

[TaraMaiden]

Have you been drinking?

 

Yes, or no?

[aMguilts]

****ing hate myself

[aMguilts]

oh i wish i could even afford to have a drink!!

 

NO i havent!!!!

[aMguilts]

i`m just me

beyond repair

god

[TaraMaiden]

In any case, leave your computer, switch off and go to bed.

 

The evenings are always the worst.

You'll feel better in the morning.

Trust me on this one.

[aMguilts]

i was never fixable!!

 

i`m me

[aMguilts]

In any case, leave your computer, switch off and go to bed.

 

The evenings are always the worst.

You'll feel better in the morning.

Trust me on this one.

 

no i wont

i hate going to sleep

i work over 70 hours a week

and sleep aabout 2 hours a night

i wake up every 20 or so mins bathed in sweat and freezing cold

 

i cant go to sleep cos she`s on my mind

when i do sleep i dream about her

24/7 shes on my mind

 

took twice the normal dose of my ad`s the other night plus 4 co codamals

i thought ...that`ll do it?

 

lol

just woke up 2 hours later and was just as ratty at work

so what do i do??

[TaraMaiden]

Ok, well you do what you want.

 

keep insisting you're a lost cause, and that nothing will ever be good again.....

But 'Misery loves company' and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to hold your hand trying to help, while you sit and wallow and feel sorry for yourself.

 

Go.

To.

Bed.

 

get some sleep.

[aMguilts]

ok

and it`ll all be ok in the morning wont it

i pray for the day when i go to sleep and never wake up

1day soon i hope

aM

[Steadfast]

None of us can ever go back. All there is is forward. No matter what and no matter who, the path we take is ours to choose.

 

I'm against meds. I'll go on record. But, I'm not a doctor. Then again, I abused nicotine. Bad for me, but it was comforting...I didn't care either.

 

I don't have to tell you the world is full of women? Yes, and good women...those that seek a man to share life with and desire to keep their promises. That won't matter until you're over 'her' enough to look.

 

We can only type...for you. We can only fix us. You can only fix you. BUT! It's is good to have friends to share. Treat them well aM. If you remain cynical and sarcastic, you will deflate their spirit and they'll disappear.

 

You don't have to agree to remain friendly. Each has their own gifts.

 

Finally...don't act like you're helpless, beyond help or beyond reach. If you really felt that way you wouldn't post here. There's no shame in need. As long as it's healthy need like comfort, compassion and encouragement.

[Yasuandio]

Listen man, first of all, Tara has her lipstick on, and no one is fighting, check that.

 

Now, here is what you need to do. I dunno the time in UK - but if you go to a job - you better start getting some sleep. And my guess is, insommnia is only one dimension of your mental health issues. Therefore, you are obviously not properly medicated.

 

Here is what that means. Go see the doctor - get properly medicated, so you can sleep, and not screw your job. Doesn't that sound like a good idea?

 

As for getting through the night, turn on your Homer tapes. You are swimming in a huge sea of self pity - it is pathetic. Get your act together. Make some warm milk or cammomile tea, and do fifty sit-ups - NOW. Play the Home taped interviews until you get drowsy.

 

In the morning make that appointment - STAT. Tell the doc you are in mania and need a sleep med for insommnia at the very least. Better still - check in for awhile - some of your talk on this thread is concerning aM. You better listen. Or you are going to screw your job then what will you do? Be a effing crybaby that cannot get thru this? Come on man. You have more balls than that. Yas