msalek89 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) Has anybody blocked their ex’s number? Not because they are harassingyou or annoying but because you can’t cope with them keeping in touch or not.What have you accomplished so far? I am in NC with my ex. He texts me like oncea week late at night or if it’s during the day he sends me a picture of thingsthat have to do with us, like a view or a flower. I won’t deny that I broke NCa few times and every time I do I feel worst and end up filled with anxiety. Iwake up every day just hoping to see if I have received a text from him andmost of the time I don’t answer but he takes over my thoughts the whole day. I guess I would say that I am hoping for a makeup, thenagain if it hasn’t happen now what makes me think it will happen any time soon.It’s been a 3 months since the BU. The first month I went out of my way doingeverything I could for him to be with me again and it didn’t work, then it justbecame physical activity in which I acted like I didn’t care but inside I wasbreaking apart. I guess my fear is that maybe blocking his number is killingall hope, but the words “what is the point” keep crossing my mind every time I saythat. I would appreciate the advice. Edited February 26, 2013 by msalek89 Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I guess that if he wants to be with me or get in contact with me he will go out of his way to do it, but then again thats me still holding on to some hope. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I have. If you're like me, you'll feel guilty about it. My ex was asking me to talk, wanted to be friends. I ignored her until I couldn't take it anymore and told her to leave me alone. Then I blocked her. I know how you feel about killing hope. Think about it though, what hope are you holding onto? Does he know your email? Does he have a facebook? I believe if they really want to contact us they will. I've seen threads by people who have gotten emails from their ex after they changed their number. It seems like it's affecting your healing, and you will take a step forward if you go through with it. but it's completely on you. If your heart races like mine did every time I got a text because I was hoping it would be her, and then I would have my heart ripped out when it wasn't. I'd suggest blocking him. Let him know beforehand, not that you're blocking him, but to leave you alone so you can heal and then go for it. Or don't do it and try to handle weekly texts and having your heart pulled out. Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) na - block him. So far you've been on the end of the phone like a little puppy begging for whatever scraps he cares to throw you. He doesn't want to be friends out of any consideration for you. He just wants to tell himself that you are still friends, and that, therefore, you are OK with what he did. Trust me, it's all about him. Block him - cut him off from that source of reassurance, and let him stew for a while. It might take time (and a bit of emotional strength) but he will get the message that you are not someone to be trifled with. That you are not dangling on the end of his puppy leash. That empowers you and gives you back the first shreds of dignity that will set you on the road to healing. Go No Contact and don't even tell him - just do it - when your phone rings out a few times, he'll quickly start to wonder what the h*ll is going on and you will have started to break his hold over you. He'll start to learn to respect you. First steps on the road to healing. Edited February 26, 2013 by Thunderchild 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I have. If you're like me, you'll feel guilty about it. My ex was asking me to talk, wanted to be friends. I ignored her until I couldn't take it anymore and told her to leave me alone. Then I blocked her. I know how you feel about killing hope. Think about it though, what hope are you holding onto? Does he know your email? Does he have a facebook? I believe if they really want to contact us they will. I've seen threads by people who have gotten emails from their ex after they changed their number. It seems like it's affecting your healing, and you will take a step forward if you go through with it. but it's completely on you. If your heart races like mine did every time I got a text because I was hoping it would be her, and then I would have my heart ripped out when it wasn't. I'd suggest blocking him. Let him know beforehand, not that you're blocking him, but to leave you alone so you can heal and then go for it. Or don't do it and try to handle weekly texts and having your heart pulled out. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Exactly, been the idiot I am I know I willend up feeling guilty. I tried to work things out for a month and he didn’t evenbother to give me some closure. One time I went to look for him at his housewith the purpose of trying to talk about what had happened and nothing. All hedid was get mad about me bringing up the subject so I just let it be. The lasttime I went to see him it was just sex and nothing about us. He texts mepictures and late night texts. I really don’t see the point of staying friendsbecause he has nothing to offer me but for him its beneficial since I can beuseful in other ways. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] He has my email, he knows where I live, heknows where I work, the guy knows everything. We don’t have each other onsocial networks for my own good. I have him blocked on that because I can’tdeal with the looking around etc. I do, that exactly how I feel. Every time I hearmy phone I think it’s him and hope it is. When it’s not I just feel like crapand then when it is I have to deal with the anxiety of what he wants? Why is hetexting? But if text him back? Etc. I feel like I can’t deal with that anylonger and that is why I have to do this. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] I don’t know if telling him that I amblocking his number will be a good idea. I think he will react and say that I amover reacting or whatever he feels like saying so I guess I will just let himfind out next time he texts or calls me. He owes money to one of my creditcards and he is paying it monthly, which is mostly why I kept in contact withhim. He should finish paying me in April. Today I went to his moms house sinceher and I were always so close and I asked her to please be remaining him forthe next 2 months that are left because I can’t keep doing it. I told him manytimes to set a remainder in his phone about the date etc, but he told me that hewanted me to keep remaining him. I guess that was his excuse to keep botheringme. I know at some point after me blocking his number he will send me an emailasking why I went to see his mom and blocked his number etc. however, I don’t evenplan to reply. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Pros and cons of blocking an ex number? There are NO cons to blocking an ex's number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 na - block him. So far you've been on the end of the phone like a little puppy begging for whatever scraps he cares to throw you. He doesn't want to be friends out of any consideration for you. He just wants to tell himself that you are still friends, and that, therefore, you are OK with what he did. Trust me, it's all about him. Block him - cut him off from that source of reassurance, and let him stew for a while. It might take time (and a bit of emotional strength) but he will get the message that you are not someone to be trifled with. That you are not dangling on the end of his puppy leash. That empowers you and gives you back the first shreds of dignity that will set you on the road to healing. Go No Contact and don't even tell him - just do it - when your phone rings out a few times, he'll quickly start to wonder what the h*ll is going on and you will have started to break his hold over you. He'll start to learn to respect you. First steps on the road to healing. You are totally right that is the only way for me to end this anxiety and help myself to move foward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 There are NO cons to blocking an ex's number. You mean pros? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) na - block her. So far you've been on the end of the phone like a little puppy begging for whatever scraps she cares to throw you. She doesn't want to be friends out of any consideration for you. She just wants to tell herself that you are still friends, and that, therefore, you are OK with what she did. Trust me, it's all about her. Block her- cut her off from that source of reassurance, and let her stew for a while. It might take time (and a bit of emotional strength) but she will get the message that you are not someone to be trifled with. That you are not dangling on the end of her[/b] puppy leash. That empowers you and gives you back the first shreds of dignity that will set you on the road to healing. Go No Contact and don't even tell her - just do it - when your phone rings out a few times, she'll quickly start to wonder what the h*ll is going on and you will have started to break her hold over you. She'll start to learn to respect you. First steps on the road to healing. How about you get the genders right....? Edited February 26, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 You mean pros? No - there is nothing BAD about blocking an ex's number. Pro = Good/advantage Con = Bad/disadvantage Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I blocked all my exs numbers the day of the BU. She still emailed me months later after not being able to get thru the block. I didn't respond. Messed me up for a month just 1 email. She has given up thank god. You should definitely block everything. Otherwise you dont heal and get sucked into drama. I've seen it a million times on here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 How about you get the genders right....? He just confused NA with the OP. Thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I appreciate that Thunderchild. I've actually blocked my ex's number already and have had it blocked for 2 months now. Haven't heard a peep from her since. (and I admit that I want to) I'd suggest doing it if you're ready. It will suck right away, but in the long term weight WILL be lifted off of your shoulders. Your phone will ring and it will be anyone BUT him and that is an empowering feeling. I think it's so crazy because I was in your spot a few months ago. I was asking myself the same questions you are. I did it, and didn't burst into flames after I did it. I felt guilty (still do) but I am more indifferent now than I was before. Not trying to say I'm completely indifferent, but I'd be able to handle a conversation with her now without being a complete emotional wreck. (afterwards all bets are off though ) The only bad part of blocking their number is you won't hear from them and you will want to. The only bad part for me was that I feel guilty about doing it. Those are my own problems though. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Now NA is mixing things up. Thunderchild is a he. What's up with this thread. Confusion regins. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 When did I say he was a she? I have no idea what's going on right now. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 When did I say he was a she? I have no idea what's going on right now. Wait im confused too. Your second paragraph was for the OP. Im having a gender crisis. Lol i need a bong hit...if i still smoked lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I think I need to lie down..... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) It's a HE, sorry if I wrote anything that got everyone gender confused lol... I block his number already. Let's see how this goes and about feeling guilty, I took a moment to think why I would feel that way. I realized that I did everything I could to set my point and love across to him. All he did was take me for granted so why feel guilty? I am doing this for me. Why deal with somebody that is bringing me down? That apparently doesn't want me? I have nothing to regret or feel guilty about. This to me is the final step that I had to take to move on completly. Anything regarding with my money I will deal with his mom like I made it clear to her today. So long for what was never going to be again and for that hope that all it did was hold me back. Thanks everyone for the feedback. Edited February 27, 2013 by msalek89 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I want to give you a big hug for going through with it! Maybe you won't feel guilty. I'm actually the only one who does feel guilty about this, but that's just my own problem. I noticed the first few weeks my phone would go off, I'd hope it was her calling from a different number. Just because my brain was still stuck on "I hope it's her!" If you feel you did everything you could do. That's all you could do. We can't make them love us no matter how badly we want to. Nothing we say can change their mind. They need to have the epiphany and say "Wow! I f*cked up!" and if they never have that epiphany, then they are happy without us. and we will learn to be happy without them and find happiness with someone else. (however long that takes) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 You mean pros? No, she means cons. You did not give a good reason, given your situation, why you shouldn't block his number. Link to post Share on other sites
purplereigncb Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I downloaded android apps that block sms and phone calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I blocked my ex in order to move on even though i still wanted to be with him well that didnt stop him from calling me. he would call me from another blocked number since he knew i blocked him, hes still chasing me around till this day. im over the guy Link to post Share on other sites
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