greenmachine Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I am a dude, I am 29, and... I am also a virgin. *I am not ashamed of the fact, but neither am I proud of it. *It is just a choice I made a long time ago. *My original reason was faith based, but that dissolved about 5 years ago. *In it's place rose a contempt for the modern relationships in which saw my friends and family on a consistent basis. *This was a personal contempt. *Kind of like when someone offers you food you don't like. *You turn it away, but don't blame other people for eating it. *It's just not for you. *It is not that I did not want to have sex, I just didn't want to have it the way I saw others doing it. *I am a door to door salesman and veteran of 2 tours in Iraq as an infantry machine gunner (an all-time first, I am sure). *I have a degree in biology and am the best cook I know. *I have been unfairly compared to Tom Cruise (Adam Sandler is closer, imo... just longer hair and better smile ). *I am in shape and at least reasonably attractive. *I have had opportunities. *What I don't have is any level of game whatsoever. *Now, I doubt I come off that way at first. *I am not afraid to talk to girls and can land dates. *Most people like me. *I like me too! BUT... I turn 30 next month. *This doesn't freak me out at all. *My concern is that I have boxed myself in. *I have never even seen a vagina! *I worry that by missing out on ten+ years of experience that my learning curve could prove too frustrating for my partner. *What will seem overwhelming to me will be but a blink to her I am sure... and for how long? Ugh... *Maybe it is *pride? *I don't know... Anyway, I was hoping someone would have some practical ideas as to how to begin to cultivate a healthy sexual experience (with a woman) without losing my self-respect. *There is more too it, I know, but you have read enough for now! *Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Shardish Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 You need to find yourself a decent women, so get looking! If you have chosen not to have sex due to religious reasons or because bitterness or whatever got to you, then you need to be crystal clear about these reasons when you meet a woman who you contemplate entering a relationship with. If she likes you enough it won't necessarily be a problem. It will only become problematic if you draw too much attention to it. Some women will find you undateable because of it, but don't let that put you off. If you're good boyfriend material then I doubt too many women will be put off. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) Just start dating like you're anyone else. Ask her out, look her in the eyes when you talk. Show her you want her. Casually touch her if you have the chance. When you sense she's ready for a kiss go for it. Show no fear. On some level she'll sense you aren't that experienced. You don't need to sit her down and give her a spiel about how you're a virgin and why. That will just reek of insecurity. She'll figure it out and make the choice whether she finds it acceptable or not on her own. Really, you can get started at any age if you really want it. Take another 10 years off if you feel like it. The quality of men out there is horrible. Women will often be forgiving of inexperience if you have half an idea how to stimulate her over dinner. And you put effort into improving. Thanks for your service btw. Edited February 27, 2013 by gaius Link to post Share on other sites
Shardish Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 You don't need to sit her down and give her a spiel about how you're a virgin and why. That will just reek of insecurity. She'll figure it out and make the choice whether she finds it acceptable or not on her own. Interesting point - I have always been encouraged to be honest, so you don't need to sit down and explain things since she'll already have some idea? Excellent that saves embarrassment. Greenmachine don't listen to my advice because it's nonsense, discard it for the rubbish that it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptObvious Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 chest n biceps Link to post Share on other sites
Bengal Tiger Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Work on meeting people and finding a relationship with someone you like and feel comfortable with. Establish the relationship first. I was a late bloomer too and hell yes it can mess with your head. Try not to think about your lack of experience or talk about it yet with a potential partner. You don't want to scare her off. Once you have a healthy loving relationship and you want to know how to initiate sex, come back and ask us how to make a move. But not yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts