This thing with my mom....(I hate her)

[Explicit]

I’m 20 now and she’s been completely unreasonable for as long as I can remember.

 

She's a single mother (she kicked my father out because he gambles) and she pins the blame on "loosing her youth" on me. On her logic, if she remarries, then any stepfather will eventually beat, abuse and rape me. On the very least, he'll hate me and make life miserable. Hence, she made a huge sacrifice to remain single to raise me.

 

As far as I can remember, her favorite phrase is "Get out" or "Go die": "If you don't like it, get out/go die/go kill yourself", "If you don't listen, ...", etc. Obviously, I hate hearing it.

 

I'm so confused as to what I should do later. I've always been a straight-A student with good networks and good friends. She takes all the credits and claims that it's the result of her hard work. She says I'm responsible for her when she's older, etc. Personally, I find it a miracle that I didn't actually kill myself.

 

I don't want to ever see her again as soon as I can financially support myself. Just seeing her or thinking about her darkens my mood and angers me. Would it be okay if I just cut off all ties? Am I responsible for her?

[Nyla]

Your mother is a very bitter and angry woman. She resents the sacrifices of motherhood and takes it out on you. Some mothers think that they can verbally abuse their children simply because they gave birth to them.

 

My mother used to say similar things to me, along with frequent beatings. Like you, I was a good student and responsible but that was never enough for my mother. She hated me because I look like my aunt whom she loathes and she is jealous of how close I am to my father. When my mother realized I was serious about leaving home, she began to give me gifts.

 

There is nothing wrong with cutting off family who are abusive and detrimental to your self-esteem. You are NOT responsible for your mother and you don't deserve her nasty words. She won't realize how good you were until it is too late to salvage a relationship. My mother wants to be my friend now that she is old and she feels guilty, but I keep her at an arm's length because she's toxic and controlling. Just today, my mother was moaning about how I never have anything good to say about her. I calmly told that woman that she never has anything nice to say about me either.

 

Save your money and move out as soon as you can.

[janesi87]

i know that you feel disappointed and angry about your mom and her behaviours but is it true that you treat her the same way? You can keep a distance with your mom, of course, but try to find a different way

[Radu]

Depends on the country.

 

Over here children can be legally coerced [by suing them] by the parent in need of care.