To OW/OM: How has your affair affected your other relationships?

[threelaurels]

Family? Friends? Other romantic partners?

 

Were they accepting of the affair?

 

Did you lose anyone close to you as a result of your affair? Did they lose respect for you?

[stevie_23]

None of my friends knew anything about it. I couldn’t tell them because they’re all friends with my long term partner so…obviously that wouldn’t be safe. Only a few online friends know.

 

My family know nothing either. GOD NO!

 

My relationship with my long term partner remains virtually unchanged. Still affectionate (though not as much, but I think that happened before I even met my ex-MM), still get on very well, are gentle and patient with each other, have fun and laugh a lot, share the “parenting” of our 2 cat “sons”. It’s good. But…the constant guilt I have over what I did. The constant uncertainty over what I really want in my life in terms of a relationship. It’s different now I’ve had an A.

[LFH]

Fsamily? Friends? Other romantic partners?

 

Were they accepting of the affair?

 

Did you lose anyone close to you as a result of your affair? Did they lose respect for you?

 

I lost one friend. I supported her in all the bad choices she made through the years and then when I made one she didn't approve of, instead of talking to me about it she got manipulative. That's not ok. After talking to her eventually, I realized it wasn't much of a loss.

 

Everyone in my life knows otherwise, some took longer to accept, but the people in my life really love me. They see that I'm happier with him and that he brings a great deal of good to my life.

Because of that they accept him as he is.

I don't hide any of it.

[promises]

Well, I lost my job for one. And we didn't even work together.

I lost two friends. One a long term friend, another a good friend who swore she wouldn't let this situation get in the way of our friendship. Shortly thereafter she stopped corresponding and I haven't spoken to her in a long while.

 

My family, (whom I told), of course have stuck by me.

My true friends have as well.

 

You'd be surprised how many people know of people or have been in similar situations or had rough patches in their marriages and openly have talked about the thoughts of straying.

[bool_83]

Family? Friends? Other romantic partners?

 

Were they accepting of the affair?

 

Did you lose anyone close to you as a result of your affair? Did they lose respect for you?

 

I have told some friends - I don't think you could describe it as being accepting of the affair, more the case that they are willing to support a relationship that makes me happy - which at the moment is with MM. I was actually quite surprised that they were not more judgemental. I do have some friends that I would never tell. We have a mutual friend (former work colleague) that I have told - they were very judgemental of him - not so much of me

 

I would never tell my family about him - my sister is aware that we are friends - and I believe she suspects that it is more, has not asked though.

[Summer Breeze]

When dMM and I were in the A my family and friends knew. Some were worried about me getting hurt but none gave me a hard time or ended our relationships because of it. A lot of people in his family knew about it and they were fine with me. They weren't happy what he was doing to his W but the problem was with him and not me. Now that he's D and we're seeing what we can build the people around me are even more suspicious of him and his family is even more accepting of me.

 

I didn't have the problems a lot of others had and I never let him become so important to me I let my life come in second. I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not.

[Got it]

Family? Friends? Other romantic partners?

 

Were they accepting of the affair?

 

Did you lose anyone close to you as a result of your affair? Did they lose respect for you?

 

Many of my family and close friends knew about the affair. They wanted to best for me and for me to be happy so they were worried but supportive. I am not sure if they were necessarily accepting of the affair per say but of me and of him and it being a work in progress. When we broke up and I was crying they supported by offering to stick pins in a voodoo doll made of him.

 

But they are supportive of our relationship now and where things stand. I am not sure if I lost their respect, maybe, but they love me and we have solidered on. Ultimately yes they support me.

 

I did end one friendship that I think was loosely tied to the affair though on my end that was the straw that broke the camels back. There were bigger issues that did it for me. But she too was an OW and seemed to reflect a lot on my relationship in comparison to hers and telling me what dMM was doing or not doing and her opinion on it. She was always looking for the other shoe to drop and prove that he was really this bad guy since our relationship was leaps and bounds different than hers and I think that caused her anxiety. We had different priorities, boundaries, etc. and conducted things accordingly. I wouldn't have been in her affair but it wasn't my place to judge it.

 

Anyway, there had been a number of reason earlier that were causing issues and some stalking that was happening that just drove me up the wall. Too much drama and energy.

[threelaurels]

Well, I lost my job for one. And we didn't even work together.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. Financial instability can make even a small negative situation into a big one.

 

I was actually quite surprised that they were not more judgemental.

 

I don't mean this disrespectfully, but they may be more judgmental of you think than you think--they just might not voice it to you. You never know what people are thinking in their heads.

 

Thank you for the responses!

[cocorico]

Family? Friends? Other romantic partners?

 

Were they accepting of the affair?

 

Did you lose anyone close to you as a result of your affair? Did they lose respect for you?

 

I lost no Rs, but I gained some which have become very valuable to me.