A survey of affair behaviours

[stevie_23]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

3. What is the age difference between you?

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

5. Have you ever met in person?

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

Thank you!

[bool_83]

1. How did you meet your married AP?

Work

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

We were friends for a bit over a year

3. What is the age difference between you?

Same age

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

For everyday communication we use texting and our workplace chat program (not the best idea that one I'll admit)

5. Have you ever met in person?

Yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

No pattern - used to be daily but he recently moved work location so we're no longer in the same building - sometimes weekly, sometimes less often - depends what else we both have on.

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

Nope

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

Nope - and I prefer it that way! He realised very quickly that I was not receptive to hearing any whinging etc about his relationship.

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

Not married

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

Yes - as to how often, depends what you class as sex lol

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

Yes - I was in hospital just before Xmas and he was a great support

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

Yes

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

For the time-being content to be an AP - I do love him, we have a great time together and if we'd met when he was single I'd happily be in a relationship with him - however, knowing that he is capable of cheating, I don't think I'd ever be 100% trusting of him not to do that to me and I think the relationship would ultimately implode. Unless we have a d-day in which we are forced to end our relationship, I will eventually call it off so I can settle down and pursue other life goals that I have - at the moment I'm more career focused. He is aware that I feel this way - not sure on how accepting he will be when the time comes, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

Great sex, great friendship, lots and lots of laughs

[LFH]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

As a couple, it was a while.

3. What is the age difference between you?

3 years

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

We don't text very much because he is not a fan of texting, but we online chat, skype, phone, spend time in person.

5. Have you ever met in person?

Yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

It varies. About 2 days a week I guess? Average of 1 week a month?

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

Yes

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

Yes. He discusses his life in general with me. We don't talk too much about her because I find her behavior infuriating and his marriage is his mess, but anything big or major gets discussed. Anything that impacts he and I gets discussed.

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

NA, but he is fully aware of all the details of my marriage before this.

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

Yes. Again, it varies depending on how often we get to be together. It's not the focus of our relationship but it is part of our relationship so we do make sure we don't neglect that.

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)We discuss everything. He's my health care proxy and power of attorney at this time.

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

I would never be involved with someone that I wasn't comfortable seeing me at my best and my worst. Yes of course he's seen me without my makeup on

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

In a perfect world of course I'd have that, but since it's impossible even if he were single, then I'm very happy with what we have.

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?) A partner.

 

Thank you!

 

Hope that helps! My answers in bold.

[Got it]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

Through work industry

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

A year or so

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

More than 1 less than 10 years

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

Gosh, trying to remember. Phone, text, email, in person, and snail mail.

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

Yes

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

Almost daily during day, 4-5 evenings, and 1-2 overnights weekly

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

Yes

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

Yes. I think fairly in detail based on what I know now.

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

Yes

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

Yes. Goodness, I can't count that high!

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

Of course

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

Of course! He has seen me muck stalls, stack hay, and other farm work. Trust me not all glamour and polish here.

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

Yes. And we live together now.

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

I learned how to prioritize myself, how to really learn how to communication, I have learned humility in the whole process, and to appreciate the small things in life. I have learned to be vulnerable and "all in" in a relationship. I have learned that I am more than good with or without somebody. And I have really learned to like my alone time. I learned a lot from the affair, ending my marriage, S/D, dealing with LD, and living together. I have learned I don't have half the answers that I used to think I had.

 

Thank you!

 

Please see above for my answers.

[wanting more]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

WORK

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

ALMOST 3 YEARS

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

14 YEARS

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

TEXT, PHONE CALLS, IN PERSON

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

YES

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

SOME TIME IN PERSON MOST DAYS*DURING THE WORK WEEK, TEXT AND SOME PHONE CALLS ALL WEEKENDS

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

YES

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

NEVER

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

A LITTLE

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

YES, AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

YES, WASN'T MUCH I WOULDNT' TELL HIM, AND HE WAS THE SAME

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

YES

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

I THOUGHT I DID, I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE PLANS,* OBVIOUSLY THINGS CHANGE

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

AT THIS POINT I REALIZE I GOT NOTHING OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.*

 

Thank you!

[loredo21]

this is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is not interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current ow (or om) or an ex-ow (or om)...

 

1. How did you meet your married ap?

work. Shocker.

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

mere weeks...

3. What is the age difference between you?

same age

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

well since we worked together during the day it was all face to face. Evenings were texting, skype, social media.

5. Have you ever met in person?

yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

we spent average of 5 days a week together.

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

daycations

 

8. Does your mm discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

he did.

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

nope.

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

yes, real-time about twice a week (since it was hard for us to get privacy at work) lots of phone and skype sex.

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

yes. In great detail.

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

he once had to come over to drop of work stuff and i was sunbathing without makeup (but in a bikini so i don't think he was looking at my face), and once we worked together outside in 103 degree weather and all of my makeup melted off of me.

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an ap?

never in a million years....i don't think.

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

it helped me see that most men out there are scum, and poor in the sack so i really need to focus my energy on my h who worships me and is the best sex i've ever had. Teehee. Whatever "fantasy" i was searching for is just that. A fantasy.

 

 

thank you!

 

..............

[skylarblue]

Pertaining to R with xMM:

 

1. We met at his work.

 

2. We were in a PA within 24hrs of meeting.

 

3. He's 27yrs older than me.

 

4 & 5. We speak via phone, text, and in person.

 

6. It varied. The longer we were involved, the more we saw of each other. From 2-3 days a week for a couple of hours each time to 6-7 days a week for any length of time (from a 5min visit just to say hello to the whole day).

 

7. We never vacationed together.

 

8. He talked about his W in all capacities, but usually when complaining or relaying an argument or conversation.

 

9. N/A

 

10. We were intimate at least every other day.

 

11. Health issues? We discussed stuff like if one had a doc appointment or not feeling well or whatever just in normal convo.

 

12. He's seen me without makeup, but only a handful of times in 7yrs and only late at night. He's only seen me once without make-up in the morning. I always get made up for him.

 

13. I never expected to be with him exclusively nor did I want to. I "trusted" him as my MM (as much as I think a MM can be trusted), but I think I'd have trusted him less as an exclusive bf. I was content in the A for most of the duration, but then became dissatisfied, not with the A per se, but with things that happened (or didn't happen) in the A (if that makes any sense).

 

14. What I got most out of the A during (and the reason I began and continued it) was the personal gratifications (sexual, egotistical, mental) that I got particular from seeing a MM. It benefited most in fulfilling my warped and selfish mentality (which wasn't beneficial in reality). What I got most out of the A afterwards was a sense of relief and better, healthier perspective. It benefited me most by giving me a higher respect for myself and others.

[Yellowteacup]

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

 

I met him through mutual friends at a bar.

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

 

About 3 years.

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

 

One year. He is 41 and I am 40.

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

 

Phone calls and text, FB messenger, and we meet about 2 times a week.

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

:bunny:

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

 

From 3 to 8 hours. Not overnight as of yet. A couple times a week.

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

 

Not yet, but I do plan on it.

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

 

He talks badly of her. She lives in another state and not very bright from what I have read and heard.

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

 

I say as little as possible about my H.

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

 

Yes, and as often as we can.

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

 

When it needs to be discussed, yes.

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

 

Yes.

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

 

We have talked about this very subject. He wants "more" than what I can give him right now.

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

He's a really good friend.

 

Thank you!

 

You're welcome.

Edited February 28, 2013 by Yellowteacup

[ConfusedBlueeyes]

1. How did you meet your married AP?

Online

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

5 months

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

All of the above

5. Have you ever met in person?

yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

1 week a month sometimes longer if we meet twice( long distance)

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail? Yes everything

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

not marred

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

rarely often its not about that for us

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

Yes we have helped each other through a lot

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

rarely wear it

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

I do want this

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)The happiness and love we both share

 

Thank you!

[MissBee]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

I met him at a social event when I was visiting my native country.

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

 

Hmm. The idea of a couple is still weird to me, because I resisted being considered an exclusive couple. I remember when he first called me his girlfriend I was quite shocked! I would say we started speaking romantically about 8 months or so after we met. Inititally I spoke to him sporadically and it was completely friendly. Then one day it switched to flirting and then the rest was history

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

He was 8 years older.

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

 

We mostly used phone calls, online chat/email, texting and in person meetings.

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

Yes

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

 

We would see each other every few months.

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

 

Well we're I'm originally from is also a top tourist destination, so in some ways, yes, when I went there to visit we'd go to a hotel together and do vacation stuff.

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

 

Nope.Not at all. He made it a point not to.

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

Wasn't married.

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

Yes. Each time we got together.

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

 

We talked about everything, so yea, if I was sick it would come up. I remember once I was having menstrual cramps and was trying to be coy about why I wasn't feeling well and he asked out right if it was that time of the month lol. He was understanding about it. Then another time I was having some other menstrual issues and he was upset I hadn't mentioned it to him. I thought most men don't care to hear all about periods, but he was like he didn't care, if it was affecting me he wanted to know and he's not squeamish, it's "natural" lol.

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

LOL yes I would.Never been intimate with anyone who I feared seeing me without makeup. I like makeup, but I have really nice skin without it so I'm not self conscious about that. I'm self conscious about other things though, but me without makeup isn't one.

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

 

I used to think so. He broke up with his longterm gf and we were in contact for a while. We're extremely compatible, but I don't think it's mean to be. If I could be with him with all the right circumstances, I might give it a try; however, I'm also very content without him and don't believe he is my "one true love".

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

At the time it was great to have someone who was supportive of me, who understood me and who I could talk to. However, it was only partial and eventually got frustrating.

 

Thank you!

 

Responses above.

[Realist3]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

3. What is the age difference between you?

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

5. Have you ever met in person?

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

Thank you!

 

1. Common social interactions.

2. About two months.

3. 2 years

4. Online chat and phone calls.

5. Yes.

6. Used to be almost daily.

7. No, but talked about it.

8. No.

9. No.

10. Yes. Varies. Sometimes 8 times a month sometimes 0 times a month.

11. Yeah.

12. Neither of us wear makeup.

13. Yes, but not a goal.

14. Hmmm...

[PurpleGal]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

 

Online - Ashley Madison. We were both married, unhappy, and unsure how to change things.

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

 

We IMed for a few weeks, then met and were together from then on.

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

 

He's 10 years older.

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

 

Mostly IM (throughout the day, every day, some phone calls, and in-person.

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

 

Yes.

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

 

One time per week, for 7-8 hours.

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

 

Yes, 3 trips in the year we've been together.

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

 

Yes, we talk about everything. Sometimes detailed, sometimes not.

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

 

I'm legally married, but separated. I've discussed many aspects of my marriage with him. Whatever comes up.

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

 

Yes. Every time we see each other, so once a week.

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

 

We talk about everything, including the health of ourselves and our families.

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

 

Yes, but only when we're on a trip!

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

 

In a heartbeat. He talks about making it happen, but due to statistical and personality reasons, I don't see it happening.

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

I get emotional support, best-friendship, and wonderful sex with a man who understands my "complicated" marital status. For now, it's exactly what I need.

 

Thank you!

 

Answers in bold.

[cocorico]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

3. What is the age difference between you?

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

5. Have you ever met in person?

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

Thank you!

 

1. In a work-related context.

2. About a year and a few months.

3. 10 years.

4. All of the above.

5. Yes.

6. During the A - it varied. It was LDR, so it would tend to be several times a year, for extended periods.

7. Yes.

8. No, unless I asked directly, in order to verify what I'd heard elsewhere.

9. N/A

10. Yes. As much as we could stand.

11. Where relevant.

12. I'm not the girly type, so that's pretty much all the time.

13. We are now together 100%.

14. We fell in love.

[OWnomore]

1. How did you meet your married AP? Online

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple? not at all

3. What is the age difference between you? 4 years, he is older

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)? All of the above, but we used yahoo messenger all day M-F, because he could use it in email and not have it downloaded on his computer (it gets around 100% transparency)

5. Have you ever met in person? Yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person? 1-3/week

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together? three times for weekend getaways

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail? Yes, he talked about all facets

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him? N/A

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this? 1-3/week

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?) N/A

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on? Yes, many times

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP? Nope, I left him

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?) Companionship and sex

[LadyRecovery]

This is just a "survey" of sorts for anyone interested. Anyone who is NOT interested for whatever reason, please don't feel the need to respond. Also, any specific questions that you feel are too personal, there's no pressure to respond. Just leave blank.

 

For anyone who is a current OW (or OM) or an ex-OW (or OM)...

 

1. How did you meet your married AP?

He worked in a place I was staying

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

1 1/2 months

3. What is the age difference between you?

15 years

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

Texting, phone calls, in person every day. His W lived in another state

5. Have you ever met in person?

Yes

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

Every afternoon & night except a few weekends. Dinner &any time MM was off work.

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

No

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

xMM discussed it very little and I didn't ask many questions after finding out he was M

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

Not married

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

Yes, almost every night

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

Yes we did, everything...

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

Yes

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

I am xOW, yet I would have wanted to be with him fully IF he wasn't M

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship? (not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

Wonderful times, passion, love, lots of fun, and the chance to just be myself again. Learned a lot from xMM.

 

Thank you!

 

I'm now NC with xMM and have been for a while. I loved him too much to watch him destroy himself and couldn't live with the potential pain to his W.

[jnd2009]

1. How did you meet your married AP?

 

work

 

2. How long did you know them before getting together as a couple?

 

never were a couple, just friends with benefits, about 2 to 2.5 years

 

3. What is the age difference between you?

 

10 years (I'm younger)

 

4. What method of communication do you mostly use (online chat, Skype, phone texting, phone calls, in person meetings)?

 

facebook message or texting. occasionally a phone conversation but it's work related

 

5. Have you ever met in person?

 

yes

 

6. If so, how often do you spend time together in person?

 

a few hours each time

 

7. Have you ever gone away on vacations together?

 

no but we talked about it- like a day thing because he had to go out of town for work. i was going to go but there were weather issues that cancelled it

 

8. Does your MM discuss his wife / marriage with you? If so, in how much detail?

 

not really, if anything i shared more about my bf and i. since i found out they were pregnant, that night, he talked the most about him and his W that he ever has

 

9. If you too are married, do you discuss this with him?

 

see 8

 

10. Have you had sex with him? If yes, how often do you do this?

 

yea, about 7 times- 4 times were a few years ago and 3 times a few months ago, but this is no longer

 

11. Do you discuss health issues (both trivial, serious and/or embarrassing?)

 

yea

 

12. Have you let him see you without makeup on?

 

yea

 

13. Would you want to be with him fully / 100% if possible, do you expect this one day, or are you content to be an AP?

 

at first this wasn't the idea, and i never did. then over this past winter i thought about it but have dismissed the thought

 

14. What do you think is the thing you most get out of this relationship?

(not the best part necessarily, but the best thing you get out of it? How does it benefit you most?)

 

i don't even know why i did it. it wasn't all that great. we've always been more friends than anything, and we're getting back to the friends only area.