FyreCatt Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a situation similar to mine, and if so, I would appreciate any comments you have. My husband and I are good friends with another married couple. We have known each other for about 4 yrs, and we see each other two or three times a week. My male friend and I talk to each other everyday on the computer. He and I have have admitted to one another that we are physically attracted to each other. My friend and his wife have discussed what they consider "cheating" in their relationship. Basically, they have decided that either one of them can have a physical relationship with another person as long as a) there is no sexual intercourse (everything else is fair game) and b) both participants know that this is just for "fun". When he told me about this, I thought hard about it. I have come to the conclusion that I could be comfortable with the same sort of agreement in my relationship with my husband, because I trust him and know that there is not a chance of him leaving me. However, I haven't talked to my husband about it, yet. I will be talking to him soon to get his feelings on it. Basically, my friend and I would like be "friends with benefits", if both our spouses were consenting. We both love our spouses and are not interested in running away together, or having any sort of emotional relationship with each other (other than being the good friends that we are). Either one of us could stop the physical part of the relationship at any point without any hard feelings. Since this is kind of a strange situation, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 However, I haven't talked to my husband about it, yet. I will be talking to him soon to get his feelings on it. Just remember, if you can be friends with benefits with someone, he can, too. Link to post Share on other sites
bulldoggirl Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Wow, that's a tough one!! I don't think I'd even want to go there! What if you or your husband enjoy this other person a little TOO much?? For example, just think how exciting & how much of an adreneline rush it is when you touch or kiss someone new....won't that make your spouse pale in comparison, esp. if you've been married for a long time. I won't lie, there is a friend of my husband & I that I am attracted to, but not on an emotional level, just like you and your friend. However, I'd be scared to death if we had an "arragement" like you're thinking of, that I'd like messing around with this guy a little too much...and in the end that would be harmful to my marriage. I think it's a very slippery slope your thinking about treading on, and personally, I wouldn't risk my marriage & feelings for a little bit of "fun". Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Talk to the lady of the partner you're thinking of "playing" with first. Make sure she is fully aware of what has already transpired . It's possible she is totally unaware of this "arrangement." AND Imagine this, you and your new "chew-toy" are getting all giddy with whatever is within bounds and something "pops" a little and you think , " oh just one time won't count. Then you've "done it" and pandora's box is open. Just doesn't seem all that appropriate from my point of view. If it were me, I'd try to investigate what is causing me to want to go for this in my marriage. Heck I'd only do this if I were on the verge of divorce. Wait, I AM on the verge of divorce, and I'm still not doing it. yeah, it doesn't seem to be a good idea to me. just my $0.02 mA Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 I think it's a very slippery slope your thinking about treading on, and personally, I wouldn't risk my marriage & feelings for a little bit of "fun". Agreed: the words "fun" and "marriage" should never even be used in the same sentance! Link to post Share on other sites
Jacksin Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 This little game you are proposing is the thin end of a wedge that will eventually lead to more intimate relations between your friend. How do you put the brakes on and start talking about your agreement with your knickers down around your ankles? I agree with the others IF you start this foolishness you could be risking your marriage. I personally would have nothing to do with my wife if she felt the need to 'play' with another person, until she came to her senses. Jack Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Agreed: the words "fun" and "marriage" should never even be used in the same sentance! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts