oregon Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Hey everyone, I was just wondering if you had any thoughts about my situation. My girlfriend dumped me and broke my heart back in April and I am having trouble moving on. What caused the breakup isn't really important b/c I didn't really do anything wrong. she just upped and decided she didn't like me. I've even talked to other girls since the breakup and even met one that made me completely forget about her. Things haven't worked out with the new girl but it was atleast a mutual seperation. My problem is that I don't even talk to my ex anymore and she lives on the other side of the country. I've realized she wasn't the girl for me and she treated me wrong but I can't get her out of my head and I'm sooo sick of thinking of her. I don't really miss her or want her back but I don't know why I'm thinking about her all the time. Does anybody have any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 There's that old give it time advice. It really does work. But, there's also a thought pattern you might want to work on: One of the reasons why a dumper is so powerful in the thoughts of the dumpee is because of the rejection. We feel the sting of what that person found wrong or unworthy in us. That gives them this mythical presence in our heads. We want them to put that right, to take back the thought that we're not good enough. How can you take her power away (or the power of the image of her in your mind)? 1) Deflate her image. Take the idealized image stored in your head and add to it all the real faults she had. Magnify them. 2) Ask yourself, who is she to judge you? What right does she have? 3) Picture yourself as she saw you at the end, when she left. Now, add to it all the great qualities you and your friends think you have. Magnify them. Hold that image of yourself in your head. 4) Imagine a new girl (could be a fantasy girl) seeing you THAT way. Imagine how she'd respond to you. End of exercise. Do this whenever you're feeling a real draw for the ex. Doesn't have to be quite this structured, but the visualization helps. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
perdida Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 wow Uriel....you seem like quite the expert....I'ma have to try that exercise.... Link to post Share on other sites
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