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finally coming clean with my feelings to my coworker


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We've known each other for 2 years, and i've always had a massive crush on her. She's a very flirty and social person who enjoys attention from men. She rejected me a year ago, but the past month we've been flirting hardcore.

 

By flirting, I mean we've been holding hands, and pretending to be boyfriend/girlfriend in front of other coworkers. Huge amounts of eye contact when we're alone. She literally just stares and smiles at me but i'm too much of a bitch to stare back and keep my eyes focused on the tv until I have something to say to her.

 

It's not that clear cut because she did this to a lesser extent last year and when I asked her out, she brushed me off. So it's still possible that she just enjoys the flirty interactions but doesn't actually want to date me.

 

Especialy because she's attracted to abusive bad boys and i'm the opposite of that. I tease her a lot, but underneath i lead a safe and conservative lifestyle and she knows it.

 

I want to give her a speech and tell her that i have very strong feelings for her but it really hurts me when she flirts with me like that just to lead me on. I almost said it to her but the words couldn't come out of my mouth. All I was able to say was "stop flirting with me, it hurts" and then she got sad and thought I wasn't attracted to her. Then I said I had something else to say to her but i'm too nervous to, and she said I should just say it and she wants to hear it.

 

Also if we date i'm pretty sure it won't last more than a month because i'm really socially awkward while she's very socially experienced and has a bunch of relationship experience and 3 kids. But my feelings betray my logic and i want her and nobody else.

 

what do i do?

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She's already rebuffed you once; you're also clearly incompatible when it comes to natures and temperaments. She's outgoing, flirty, likes 'bad boys'... you are none of the above.

 

I'm afraid your only option is to cool it and to distance yourself from her emotionally, and stick to business talk alone, while at work.

 

Besides - dating a work colleague is a hugely bad idea. A real no-no, for obvious reasons.

 

And if you can't see what those reasons are, then you need to take your blinkers off......

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youaremysunshine

Even if you've known someone a long time it's difficult to know their true nature and weather or not you are compatible. Who knows why she rebuffed you last time, maybe there was someone else in the picture who isn't any more. I would let her know how you feel, it will eat you up if you don't

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She's already rebuffed you once; you're also clearly incompatible when it comes to natures and temperaments. She's outgoing, flirty, likes 'bad boys'... you are none of the above.

 

I'm afraid your only option is to cool it and to distance yourself from her emotionally, and stick to business talk alone, while at work.

 

Besides - dating a work colleague is a hugely bad idea. A real no-no, for obvious reasons.

 

And if you can't see what those reasons are, then you need to take your blinkers off......

 

Tara has excellent points here.

 

If It's really eating you up and you're willing to risk it, confess, but keep you foot on the gas peddle and be prepared to start diving and never look back. Don't string yourself along if you don't have to. Either let go, or if you simply must, confess, and be prepared to let go. If she accepts, take note of the incompatibility stated above. It seems as though this is her personality type in general and could also apply to her interactions with you.

 

Co-workers are dangerous territory.

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