Will she have a one-night stand after break up?

[phoenix3stars]

My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me because i didnt trust her and the accusations and words i said hurt her, eventually she gave up but she said i am the only man she ever loved, she said she never had a one night stand and she did not approve of cheating, and as for her sexual desires, well she always felt it a chore in her past relationships, never enjoyed it (so she said), and that because i was the first man she has ever really been attracted to, she enjoyed our sexual relationship. So yeh i messed up and didnt believe her after months of her trying to convince me, she finally couldnt do it anymore. Its been a week since the split and i have made no contact to respect her wishes, but i know she is going out to the clubs tonight for her friends birthday, i am so worried she will get too drunk and pull someone and sleep with them, maybe to make her feel better or something. From the girl she told me she was and i never believed in it, i dont know if she would do this, would a girl like this do something like that because maybe she is hurting inside and wants to feel better or do you think she will stay the same girl and refuse to have a one night stand regardless of the fact she broke up with me, the 'love of her life'..i know i messed up but i want to know that she keeps her dignity and maybe i am on her mind still even after all this. PLEASE someone give me some feedback

[iKING]

It's possible, but not definite. My suggestions would be to chill with the what-ifs, work on the issues you face, and don't let your thoughts be the downfall of you. Take things as they come. If she broke it off, she has free reign to do whatever she wants, but that doesn't absolutely mean she's going to go crazy for sure. Once someone leaves, It's time to let go. It's not easy. It hurts. But being present in a relationship that is no longer there is setting yourself up to be hurt over a prolonged period of time.

[phoenix3stars]

she always told me she doesnt do one night stands, and she does not go out to pull, and whenever she was approached she would turn them away because she knew exactly what their game was, she is a mother to a 4 year old boy and i really dont want to feel like this perfect girl that i failed to trust would go against her morals. she has never had the urge for sex because of her lack of attraction in men, this wouldnt change just because she split from me would it? yeh i messed up and hurt her emotionally, but she has these morals and i know she still loves me, would a girl with such strong morals just completely ignore them because she split up with me? she told me i need to sort myself out and then maybe in time she could think of me in her future.

[iKING]

she always told me she doesnt do one night stands, and she does not go out to pull, and whenever she was approached she would turn them away because she knew exactly what their game was, she is a mother to a 4 year old boy and i really dont want to feel like this perfect girl that i failed to trust would go against her morals. she has never had the urge for sex because of her lack of attraction in men, this wouldnt change just because she split from me would it? yeh i messed up and hurt her emotionally, but she has these morals and i know she still loves me, would a girl with such strong morals just completely ignore them because she split up with me? she told me i need to sort myself out and then maybe in time she could think of me in her future.

 

It's unlikely but possible. The odds are highly against her doing it, as you've described her, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. She could use her newly found freedom as an excuse, as you said, but she doesn't seem like the impulsive/spiteful type. Relax, take things as they come. I understand where you're at and it will be ok. Try not to cling so much to thoughts or feelings. When we cling, we suffer. Don't let your own mind be your worst enemy. She told you what you need to do, maybe once you've done that it could work out, but until then you need to focus less on her and more on you.

[loversquarrel]

I will put it to you this way - If she told you those things you say she did, and she goes and hooks up with the first guy she meets after only a week? Then she never meant them at all. I would also call into question her true morals if she were to do that.

 

I am speaking from experience. Was with a girl for a few years, she told me all sorts of things, similar to what your girl told you. We broke up due to trust issues (they really did exist), then I found out she hooked up with a couple guys, went further with one than others, and this all happened in a week. Guess what? It made me realize what kind of person she really was. I never thought of her in the same light and was convinced she was only telling me things she thought I wanted to hear. She wanted to work on things, but I couldn't after that.

 

I hope this helps.

[Chi townD]

Here's the rub. If she does or does not, it really doesn't matter. Because she chose not to be with you anymore. Therefore, you are nothing to her and she should be nothing to you. No boyfriend or girlfriend...not even a friend.

 

If she does or doesn't. Really, there's no way you're going to find out. So, I suggest you stop torturing yourself.

[sayyes19]

Here's the rub. If she does or does not, it really doesn't matter. Because she chose not to be with you anymore. Therefore, you are nothing to her and she should be nothing to you. No boyfriend or girlfriend...not even a friend.

 

If she does or doesn't. Really, there's no way you're going to find out. So, I suggest you stop torturing yourself.

 

The first long term relationship I had ended when I was about 21. I was more worried about getting her to not have sex with other guys than I was trying to get her back. It's all or nothing at that point. In the end I failed miserably and she got with other guys and eventually I got with other girls. I feel you bro, but you have to let her go.

[ExpatInItaly]

Unfortunately, it's possible, yes. That's the naked truth.

 

No matter how much you try to convince yourself she wouldn't do such a thing, anything could happen. I'm speaking from experience.

 

Now, that doesn't mean she will do it. It doesn't mean she has any desire to. But you're only tormenting yourself further by running through all these scenarios in your mind. You'll still have one giant question mark in your mind, since nobody here can tell you what she is/isn't doing. Time will pass and you will begin to analyse this less and less. It's not easy, but be patient with yourself too.

[toddles92]

My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me because i didnt trust her and the accusations and words i said hurt her, eventually she gave up but she said i am the only man she ever loved, she said she never had a one night stand and she did not approve of cheating, and as for her sexual desires, well she always felt it a chore in her past relationships, never enjoyed it (so she said), and that because i was the first man she has ever really been attracted to, she enjoyed our sexual relationship. So yeh i messed up and didnt believe her after months of her trying to convince me, she finally couldnt do it anymore. Its been a week since the split and i have made no contact to respect her wishes, but i know she is going out to the clubs tonight for her friends birthday, i am so worried she will get too drunk and pull someone and sleep with them, maybe to make her feel better or something. From the girl she told me she was and i never believed in it, i dont know if she would do this, would a girl like this do something like that because maybe she is hurting inside and wants to feel better or do you think she will stay the same girl and refuse to have a one night stand regardless of the fact she broke up with me, the 'love of her life'..i know i messed up but i want to know that she keeps her dignity and maybe i am on her mind still even after all this. PLEASE someone give me some feedback

 

I think I can really help you out. Everything said here struck a chord with me. I'm in a relationship with a man exactly like you right now. He has very little trust in the woman I've explained myself to be, a woman exactly like your ex. He's honestly the love of my life, and for the past 13 months I have been working my ass off to get him to realise that one of my most prominent qualities is loyalty. I was never really sexually active before him, I would always know someone for at least a few months before I became active with them in any way, and even then I didn't enjoy it very much. To me sex needs love, and yes I mean that whole-heartedly. I know that other people have other opinions on sex, and I don't judge people on their views, I'm merely trying to reiterate what she tried to tell you for so long;

Women like us exist, and if you're anything like my boyfriend then you probably don't believe that because you've been f**ked over by women who have a very different moral compass. They've either cheated or tried to cheat or whatever else (in my boyfriend's case they cheated on him), but that doesn't mean that all women are like that, people just have the bad luck of picking them out.

Now, I know I can't predict this exact situation, but if she is as much like me as I hope she is, she won't have a one night stand. I've never had one, and if the unfortunate situation of me and my boyfriend separating came along, a one night stand is not what I'd do to feel better. She will hopefully just go out to be in the company of friends in this hard part of her life, get drunk, and stumble home. I think her moral compass is quite strong, and I don't believe that a one night stand is on her agenda.

[toddles92]

also sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm bringing attention to myself, it's just that I can relate really well to this situation, hence why I spoke of myself a lot

sorry

[sunbeach200]

Your jealousy and paranoia is killing you! If you dont keep this intact then you will destroy any future relationships too. This is what you need to focus on, not whether your ex GF is going to be faithful. Why should she anyway?

 

Yes she may possibly date other men. But there is no point dwelling on this if you both have split up.

[nofool4u]

Will she have a one-night stand after break up?

 

If she does, then all it does is confirm your suspicions about her character and then you should be relieved as she shouldn't be the type of person you want to be with.

 

If she isn't like that, then I'm afraid you messed up with your behavior.

[Darren Steez]

You're a jealous guy. You have trust issues and it drove her away.

 

Now she's going out to have some fun with her friends and all you're worried about her getting drunk and having sex.

 

It probably got to a point where she couldn't even glance towards the general direction of a guy in the general area without setting you off. You become like a guard dog, questioning her every move and word.

 

It's no fun is it? Would you want to be with someone like that?

 

You need to work on yourself before you start dating again, fix whatever is bothering you. Relationships are about fun, love and trust. Not walking on eggshells.

[loversquarrel]

They are broken up. Her having a one night stand when she is not in a relationship does not reflect poor character. She is allowed to do whatever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants. If she decides she wants to have random sex with a guy and enjoy it she can do it if she wishes.

 

So ridiculous. Due to your statement about one night stands = poor character Ive now concluded over 80% of the male population must have poor character

 

I'm just curious, how does this statement reflect over 80% of the male population having poor character?

 

It makes me wonder, all these men with poor character? Their MOTHERS must be doing a horrible job raising them.