JustaNormalDude Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 hey, I've been dating this woman. She dates myself and at least one other guy. I only date one person at a time. When I assume she is with him, should I text or call her? Or leave them alone out of respect? we normally text everyday. 'Dre Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Are you really into her? If so, try to put some physical moves on see what happens. If she is into you she will respond positively, if not she will push you away. If the two of you have already been physical and she is still talking to some other guy you can try the 'let's be monogamous' talk but I don't know that it'll fly. Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 It's probably not a good idea to date a woman who multidates unless you really don't care to get into a relationship. If you're both just having fun, then it really doesn't matter, because anytime y'all get together, it's just fun and games. However, it seems to me like you're thinking about her too much to get much satisfaction from someone who seems uninterested in commitment. What do you think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I've been in this situation...it's like being the OM. Don't get serious about someone who is interested in others. She may not be ready for commitment or to just date you & see where it goes. You have to have a realistic view of the situation you're in. I would keep it casual & if you find yourself getting too attached back off. Leave her alone when she's with the other guy. Also, some females like the ability and attention of being able to have more than 1 guy at a time...it's a high for them. Watch out for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 How many dates? Have you been intimate? It's reasonable to ask her to become exclusive at some point. Do you think she is waiting for you to do that? If she wants more time, agree on a timeframe. If she refuses to be exclusive, then you have your answer. You want different things, and you should find someone who is looking for the same things that you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Date her if you want a pump and dump. If you really want something serious, don't bother with anyone that multidates. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Must it always come down to this severe divide? Why does it have to be "pump and dump" or serious commitment? Why can't the OP just enjoy the woman's company and see other people himself as well if he likes? I have to say this mentality is one that eludes me a bit. Why is this the necessary binary? If the woman in question is being up front and he's agreed to the arrangement why must she be treated like a whore? This whole weird mindset wreaks of a kind proprietary thinking that just strikes me as pointless and archaic. You don't treat your platonic/non-romantic friends, your children, your extended family, or anyone else in your lives this way. Not if you're normal anyway. Why should the people you spend time with, of the opposite sex, get this sort of treatment? I wonder how much of the misery we see in these threads is tied to this mentality... If you like someone and you want to spend time with them, do so. If you don't, don't. I'm aware that "pump and dump" has a certain negative connotation to it, in this case it means to not get emotionally attached to this girl, to user her if he sees fit to do so, to not take it further. The girl in the OP does not take the poster seriously, wants to weigh her options. Turn this every way you like, but this is not a good position to be in for anyone, including the poster. For me and others, someone who does this is not someone serious and is potentially someone who will "trade you in" later in life. Link to post Share on other sites
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