help needed with an ex

[zagros]

hello:),

im new here and i will state my situation fast..i met this girl 3 years ago..she had a crush on me for a year..then we dated..then broke up..then after some months of excessive flirting again we felt for each other again and decided to become gf bf seriously.

time passes..we live together at my place for 7-8 months,we were so close that people thought we were married..she's catholic and tho quite open minded her family(which sponsor her) and her dad is pretty against her bieng with me coz im from a different race and im muslim(we live in europe).

1 day i wanted to become closer with her..she was scared..said she needed time to think it..i was bad at school then and that scared her..after sometime she broke up with me..using all kinda excuses including i dont love u anymore.

was shocked coz that was sooo unlike how she acted and said and i realy felt during our time together..we had many fights..she always demanded my attention even after the breakup..while i wanted her back..she didnt..she wore a special ring i gifted her that holds the 1st letters of my name and hers..and after many fights and her saying she loves this or that(which she doesnt) and saying im not man enough etc..i ignored her and she got pissed..always tried to get my attention..it seemed very sad to look at each other and just stare sadly.

anyway..months pass and then i remember her on her b-day..she gets very excited..and when she knew ill be back in school got even more excited..we started flirting again..she knows what i like in a girl and does those stuff..like having her hair on one side..smiling and flirting alot..etc..we got closer..and i knew from a friend(male) that she kept mensioning me in a good way and said i was her last bf(unlike what she told me that she loved this n that) she got furious however that i knew it.we flirt ,dance..she tells me her secrets..yet she doesnt want back..i dont get why she flirts then..and she keeps asking me about my school..quite intrested that im back..reminds me of old days..old jokes that we just both know...her girlfriends became realy friendly with me..always joking and even at times teasing about how i should treat her(special?)

she went to the states to work for 2 months..

my questions are..whats ur general idea? i still love the girl and still want her..does she still have a flare for me..does she love me or what? and how could i bring it back with her without bieng pushy?

thanx a million for ur time

 

 

Zagros

[uriel]

Sounds like she wants to know she has you on the hook, and may indeed still have a strong attraction toward you, but doesn't want to reel you in for a relationship. For whatever reason, she's effectively playing with your heart.

 

Maybe she's a commitmentphobic. Maybe she doesn't love you and just enjoys the attention from an ex. Maybe she longs to be free to do her own thing but is privately tortured by her love for you. Who can say?

 

If you can't bear to let her go without knowing if a relationship is a possibility, wait till she comes back and then ask her straight out. Tell her you still love her and want to be together. See what she says.

 

If she doesn't say "yes," though, I'd move on for good if I were you.

 

-- uriel

[Bobbers Girl]

Give her space and time to think. If you keep pushing her you will push her right into the arms of someone else.

That's what happened to me with my exhusband he wouldn't give me space and I wound up with someone else and now years later I wish I was still married to my ex. We both have new families now but have recently reconnected and have been sleeping together, wishing that we could turn back the hands of time. Give her time - she will come back but it may be a year or so!