BonitaAppleBum Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I have been in contact with this man for a little over a year now. we met February of 2012, at first we were just talking and getting to know each other. we fell out and didn't talk. then one day months later in like June we started talking again(fell out in April/May). so at this point I asked him well who is so and so on your profile on twitter? he said just his friend and if I had asked I could've been there too. I'm like okay. do you have a girlfriend? he said no. so I'm like okay I guess we can get to know each other again. at this time I was dating someone, nothing serious. I didn't mention it because he never asked, and we would only talk a couple of times a week, never went out and it was over before it got serious. So summer is over and we're back at separate schools and weird things start going on; not talking to me as often, things are basically at a stand still. I'm like okay. this is strange for someone who wants to be with me. Fast forward to about October and someone texts me from his phone, November same girl hacking his twitter. he claimed crazy ex. I said not your friend? now I'm suspicious. His birthday comes up and I asked him what he did, said partied and movies. of course I didn't think by himself. So I'm really suspicious and in my heart of hearts I know he's lying. Fast forward to January, he's calling me every night, he's not flirting on twitter, he's just being the perfect boyfriend(still not official) I go on Instagram and I was looking at his brother's pictures and I see the girls name. I click her page and I see pictures of them together since February( went out for vday) I see that they did a picnic in April, hung out in the summer like parties together, maybe did lunch. same thing happened when they got back to school. But what gets me is that they went out on his birthday and he lies you know? he knew he was wrong. Now that it's march it's like I don't know what to do? he's being perfect. But I cannot get over it. he went out with other girls but the fact that it's this ex he lied about that I can't get over. I know this is long distance and I should expect minimum foul play but his ex? absolutely not. he also says he went out on three dates that week with other girls(who he still is in contact with cause of twitter and school.) he tells me that I can't talk to other dudes and flirt but he does. total hypocrite. my thing is how can we have this wonderful relationship and move in together if our foundation was mostly lies? I can't move past it and I don't think it's fair to drag him. I'm pissed. I don't care if it was in November and it's now March. I just found out in January. Link to post Share on other sites
greenappleeyes Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 You deserve better. He should have been upfront about seeing other women. That would be a deal breaker for me personally, even if it WASN'T his ex. It's the lying that gets me. I wouldn't give him the time of day. It's not worth the stress for a long distance relationship, even if things are going well otherwise. You'll never know if you can trust him! Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Expect a little foul play? No. you expect none. Settle for none. Once is too many its over goodvye. Distance is no right to **** around. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Sorry if this seems ignorant, I'm trying to make sense of your post. When did you two actually start dating, then become exclusive? I don't see anything other than you two talking to each other, so is there even an exclusive relationship going on here? Link to post Share on other sites
Sporty Girl Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 (/QUOTE) I cannot get over it. he went out with other girls but the fact that it's this ex he lied about that I can't get over. I know this is long distance and I should expect minimum foul play but his ex? absolutely not. he also says he went out on three dates that week with other girls(who he still is in contact with cause of twitter and school.) he tells me that I can't talk to other dudes and flirt but he does. total hypocrite. my thing is how can we have this wonderful relationship and move in together if our foundation was mostly lies? I can't move past it and I don't think it's fair to drag him. I'm pissed. I don't care if it was in November and it's now March. I just found out in January. So why do you want to go out with omebody like this? You caught him in lies and he is seeing other women. You come on here for advice and you know he is a cheater and a player. Do you like wanna go out with a guy that is being shared? Come on wake up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 Sorry if this seems ignorant, I'm trying to make sense of your post. When did you two actually start dating, then become exclusive? I don't see anything other than you two talking to each other, so is there even an exclusive relationship going on here? We became exclusive in January. but it really bothers me that he was still talking to his ex. basically they were still together while he was trying to get with me. I wouldn't have become exclusive or dated him had I known about any of that. I feel like I was lied to a betrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Whatever happened after January is what matters most, as you say that is when you became exclusive. There is no need for him to still be talking to his ex. If they were still together when he was trying to be with you that should tell you something about his lack of character. He didn't respect her and he won't respect you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 Whatever happened after January is what matters most, as you say that is when you became exclusive. There is no need for him to still be talking to his ex. If they were still together when he was trying to be with you that should tell you something about his lack of character. He didn't respect her and he won't respect you. I basically told him that I'm fed up and all these little things add up and I can't be with him. I'm getting out while I can. because if I wait and give him another chance then find something else out I'll be pissed. I'm just really angry or sad that he couldn't respect me. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 It's perfectly understandable, you desereve to get back what you put into a relationship. So far this guy has been playing games and been nothing other than a flake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 It's perfectly understandable, you desereve to get back what you put into a relationship. So far this guy has been playing games and been nothing other than a flake. I know. I just never knew I would be taking it this hard. I've always felt like this wasn't working and I would tell him almost every fight we can't be together. now that I see that this is true and he was so quick to move on it hurts me. it's like he has no loyalty. I'm really disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 In my opinion, you have to already be in love, and to be crazy about each other, for a long distance relationship to work. Did he ever say he wanted to be exclusive? I am in Australia and we do not use that term; I am assuming your in the US........ Did he tell you he did not want you seeing other people? Or did he imply anything similar? I any case, he probably knew you liked him, and would be upset if you knew about that other girl; hence why he LIED... to spare your feelings, and probably do you would not leave him. Look, he may have liked you a lot as a person, and he may have really liked having you to talk to. How long have you talked to him now? If you talk regularly to someone for a month or more, I would say that is enough to know if you are really interested and into a person, or not. Even if he truly did like you a lot, and enjoyed talking to you, it was obviously not enough to stop him from talking to other girls... (even if it was just the one girl, you now know he has the capacity to talk to others) Online we cannot truly assess the situation! I mean, he could not five a cr@p about you, or on the other hand, he could actually really like you, but the long distance thing could perturb him too much and he may not be mature enough to deal with it! In any case regardless or WHY he did what he did, DO NOT bother with this man again! It is the fact he LIED about the girl that gets me. Do not date dishonest people! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 In my opinion, you have to already be in love, and to be crazy about each other, for a long distance relationship to work. Did he ever say he wanted to be exclusive? I am in Australia and we do not use that term; I am assuming your in the US........ Did he tell you he did not want you seeing other people? Or did he imply anything similar? I any case, he probably knew you liked him, and would be upset if you knew about that other girl; hence why he LIED... to spare your feelings, and probably do you would not leave him. Look, he may have liked you a lot as a person, and he may have really liked having you to talk to. How long have you talked to him now? If you talk regularly to someone for a month or more, I would say that is enough to know if you are really interested and into a person, or not. Even if he truly did like you a lot, and enjoyed talking to you, it was obviously not enough to stop him from talking to other girls... (even if it was just the one girl, you now know he has the capacity to talk to others) Online we cannot truly assess the situation! I mean, he could not five a cr@p about you, or on the other hand, he could actually really like you, but the long distance thing could perturb him too much and he may not be mature enough to deal with it! In any case regardless or WHY he did what he did, DO NOT bother with this man again! It is the fact he LIED about the girl that gets me. Do not date dishonest people! definitely how I feel. this week we have been fighting like cats and dogs. he told me that I keep accusing him of things he isn't doing.(be cause he wouldn't stop talking to one girl.) so he said he went to do them. he went on a birthday dinner with his ex and he said he is absolutely positive he does not want to be with her. I believed him until I found out that they hung out at a Super Bowl party and he lied about not going to. He did say he wanted to be exclusive which means that he wants to be with me and only me and vice versa. I don't know how I feel about the birthday dinner. he was texting me the whole time but he never told me he went. I found out the next day via twitter. I told him I needed space to see if I could forgive him and during this space he needs to prove what he says. we say I love you's. but now I'm not so sure if I am in love with him anymore. he has done things irreparable to our relationship. I don't understand how you can do these things and love someone. it's very sad to me. I feel betrayed and I feel like he is disloyal Link to post Share on other sites
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