BrokenFool Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi All Its been a long time since I have been on here so thought I would pop by and give an update for those still struggling in that dark place where I once was To briefly recap I was with a narcisist for nearly 3 years in a on/off relationship getting dumped every 6 weeks or so for any reason she could find and then she would rope me back in again - for more information read my previous threads Well fast forward 2 years and I am a lot happier, dont get me wrong I still have days when the pain of what she put me through comes back to me but I never think about her at all, I have met a lovely wonderful lady who is a million miles apart from my ex, somebody who values me respects me and does so much for me , we are set to get married in June My ex got married about 9 months ago to the 21 year old ( shes 33) across the road from her that i suspected her off being with behind my back so I guess that got proved right, hasnt got in touch apart from the following Private number calls where I have picked up and nobody has spoken and put the phone down on me Viewing my profile on Linkedin anonymously 8 in 8 days and then deleting her profile altogether and the best which I would like some advise on Her friend ( whom i have never met or spoken to ) messaging me on Linkedin asking me for careers advice, but when I replied back to her asking for clarity on a few questions she has never replied to me and this was two months ago, This message from her friend came a few days after she had emailed me herself asking when I would be able to send her the last of the money I owe her Apart from that all I would say life does get better it takes time though and the healing process isnt fast depending on the individual but have faith in god, work hard be fair and he will open up new doors for you and the ex's will always get whats coming to them personally with my ex I feel shes trying to see if she still has me on the rope because her little fairytale isnt panning out how she thought it would god bless you all who helped me through this most traumatic time of my life 4 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 When did you really notice a change in your attitude towards the BU? How many months or was it a year after? Was it when you met your soon to be wife? (congrats by the way! ) Or was there ever a point in your life where you were just happy being single? I feel like I'm so close to being over my BU, but I always get roped back into the feelings of hurt and loneliness where the only thing I want is her but have to deal with the fact that she's gone forever and never coming back. Link to post Share on other sites
GaelicSoul Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi Brokenfool, I wasn't going to post again here, but I wanted to wish you the best, and I'm delighted that you're much happier now. You deserve to be. It sounds you have done lots of personal growth, and matured in the last 2 years. I remember our stories were a little similar, and we often talked about it. Take care of yourself, and I hope you will meet someone wonderful. You deserve to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenFool Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 na49 - the biggest thing I learnt is it takes time and you cant force it, I wasnt helped by her games, I would be going along fine and then I would get a couple of private number calls and it would set me back thinking was it her? what did she want? looking back now I realise it probably was her and she wanted me to chase which I didnt, I had one good friend whom I would speak to everyday and just rant, on my good days on my bad days on days when i felt sad and days when the anger was immense and she would listen, bless just listen let me get it off my chest and still be there as a friend - that meant a lot And then I met my soon to be Mrs at a family wedding we sat we talked i was cautious didnt give anything away she told me about her beliefs how she worked with children with disabilities and why she did it , i sat listened and thought wow what a nice person , but i didnt jump in with two feet i got to know her, opened up about my past she was there for me she didnt judge didnt push and slowly my confidence and happiness levels crept up and yours will aswell Have faith in yourself a few more months and youll be past that tipping point and you will be on to a more wonderful less painfull chapter in your life i am sure of it even now my ex's games dont work on me , I have had the private number calls and why would her friend whom I have never met and is her friends ex message me for careers advice , rubbish, she got her friend to do it to see how i would react and if i held any bitterness towards her , the anonymous views on linkedin and deleting her profile, all done for a reaction but i didnt bite because I see past her games now and anybody who can marry somwbody who is 21 when she is 33 has got self esteem issues and as soon as she starts hitting 35-36 and her age starts showing and he is still 25 odd the wheeels will soon fall of her wagon i am sure The biggest thing is i dont care ive come to far GaelicSoul - Hey how are you so lovely to hear from you, yes I do remember talking you again was a massive help to me as I seekd similarities between our relationships and tried asking for advice, how are things with you ? would be good to hear a positive update from yourself Link to post Share on other sites
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