Decorative Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 No need to be so harsh on TOW. I believe she is remorseful and she is not the typical pro EMR type poster in this forum. TOW is a victim of herself and sometimes that is not that easy to fix. More importantly TOW has empathy. For some it may appear she does not, but that is because TOW is a bit insecure and sensitive. For a person with her profile admitting guilt is not easy. Nevertheless, she has admitted her role and apologized to all involved. TOW is a victim here and MM is not that nice of a man for taking advantage of a young woman. Despite whatever TOW did to encourage MM he could have stopped. I also blame the MM. very much so. But I don't think people are being too harsh with her. We want good and positive things for her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 TOW, I am so sorry. I think it's too much for anyone to bear. The affair is over, everyone is sore, but BW doesn't have the monopoly on pain. She has no damned right to demand you leave!! You in the UK then? Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I also blame the MM. very much so. But I don't think people are being too harsh with her. We want good and positive things for her. And yes...where is the Wonderful xmm in all of this? Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My Business!!!! Thanks for asking though!!!! Why post such self deprecating comments about yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Why post such self deprecating comments about yourself? Not self deprecating at ALL....It is who I am! Like I stated so many times before....Post Menopausal Italian from the city! If you knew which city I was from...you would say AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Now I understand! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOW Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 I take it you are a survivor TheOW? I can only imagine what you and those close to you are going through now. I'm here but a moment right now, but I will read through the full thread and make comment tomorrow. Peace to you and yours. Thanks, yes I was there I survived many of my friends never - gone but never forgotten 13/03/1996 never forget the Angels 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Not self deprecating at ALL....It is who I am! Like I stated so many times before....Post Menopausal Italian from the city! If you knew which city I was from...you would say AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Now I understand! We girls....take no shyte and no prisoners. It's just the way we were raised!!!!! Fiesty and Firey!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Like I stated so many times before....Post Menopausal Italian from the city! If you knew which city I was from...you would say AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Now I understand! OK, now I remember you. Has to be NYC, now I get it! Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I just have to say on both the BW & TOW that it boggles my mind the idle gossip of small town people with too much time on their hands. I get it. I grew up and experienced the small town thing. I lived in a small town when H cheated. I don't make fast friends but the people I do choose to be friends with know that I have ZERO tolerance for gossip. I HATE IT! doesn't matter if it is about me or someone else. Below is why people wither LOVE me or Dislike me: When the "dust settled" somewhat on our A drama they were off and doing the staring & gossip thing on a different couple whose H was cheating. At this point, these nasty mud slingers were attempting to draw me in to their conversation! ugh!! I told the 6 or 8 people standing there shooting sh$t out of their mouths to Stick It. I believe the actual words I used were, "How AWFUL! Either it is TRUE and they are dealing with the possible destruction of their M & children's lives OR it is NOT true and you all are spreading Lies about this couple whom you claim to be friends with and care about. Either way, it is absolutely NONE of your business to talk to others about it unless of course He/She ASKED you too. Oh, I'm sorry, Did they ask you to spread this news then great! I'd love to hear." Needless to say, I wasn't asked to participate in any more PTO projects, but the looks of shame and embarrassment on their faces, PRICELESS !! Point is, SOMEONE should shut these people up 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 OK, now I remember you. Has to be NYC, now I get it! NO IT IS NOT NYC!!!!!!!!! Sorry you are wrong!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOW Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 I just have to say on both the BW & TOW that it boggles my mind the idle gossip of small town people with too much time on their hands. I get it. I grew up and experienced the small town thing. I lived in a small town when H cheated. I don't make fast friends but the people I do choose to be friends with know that I have ZERO tolerance for gossip. I HATE IT! doesn't matter if it is about me or someone else. Below is why people wither LOVE me or Dislike me: When the "dust settled" somewhat on our A drama they were off and doing the staring & gossip thing on a different couple whose H was cheating. At this point, these nasty mud slingers were attempting to draw me in to their conversation! ugh!! I told the 6 or 8 people standing there shooting sh$t out of their mouths to Stick It. I believe the actual words I used were, "How AWFUL! Either it is TRUE and they are dealing with the possible destruction of their M & children's lives OR it is NOT true and you all are spreading Lies about this couple whom you claim to be friends with and care about. Either way, it is absolutely NONE of your business to talk to others about it unless of course He/She ASKED you too. Oh, I'm sorry, Did they ask you to spread this news then great! I'd love to hear." Needless to say, I wasn't asked to participate in any more PTO projects, but the looks of shame and embarrassment on their faces, PRICELESS !! Point is, SOMEONE should shut these people up Oh they shut up pretty fast when they were approached, the thing is with town gossips is that they do not expect to be confronted and when they are they are instantly quiet and red faced. I can't abide gossips either especially around here I was pregnant last week according to them. I know I deserve to be the talk of the town we both do after our actions but I think it's more to do with the age difference between us and how no one would expect that of him with him being the happily married family man. The damage has been done though and all we can do is attempt to fix it or realise it is damaged beyond repair. My marriage is over I do not want to reconcile and I have to be hard on this otherwise I will let my feelings of guilt bring my husband back into my life and this is not the best for either of us. I love him I really do but not as a wife nor a lover, he is a great father and I will always allow him to see his kids whenever he wishes. XMM and his wife have chosen to repair the damage and from the bottom of my heart I wish them the best and hope that they can. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Oh they shut up pretty fast when they were approached, the thing is with town gossips is that they do not expect to be confronted and when they are they are instantly quiet and red faced. I can't abide gossips either especially around here I was pregnant last week according to them. I know I deserve to be the talk of the town we both do after our actions but I think it's more to do with the age difference between us and how no one would expect that of him with him being the happily married family man. The damage has been done though and all we can do is attempt to fix it or realise it is damaged beyond repair. My marriage is over I do not want to reconcile and I have to be hard on this otherwise I will let my feelings of guilt bring my husband back into my life and this is not the best for either of us. I love him I really do but not as a wife nor a lover, he is a great father and I will always allow him to see his kids whenever he wishes. XMM and his wife have chosen to repair the damage and from the bottom of my heart I wish them the best and hope that they can. You are a good woman! And Yes you are right to "SHUT THEM UP"! You go girl....... Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 TOW Knowing where you are from and what your town went through - I remember the day clearly, I was off work ill that day and heard the news on the radio. All I could do was cry - with all that pain suffered in a small community, at the end of the day, your news is nothing. Absolutely nothing in comparison. Rise above the gossip. Don't react. Be dignified and don't feed the vipers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOW Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 TOW Knowing where you are from and what your town went through - I remember the day clearly, I was off work ill that day and heard the news on the radio. All I could do was cry - with all that pain suffered in a small community, at the end of the day, your news is nothing. Absolutely nothing in comparison. Rise above the gossip. Don't react. Be dignified and don't feed the vipers. Thanks Anne it was the worst day of our lives, I clearly remember sitting in the classroom and hearing everything. Maybe this is why i am not as empathatic as i could be, no need for IC we all had it for years afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Thanks Anne it was the worst day of our lives, I clearly remember sitting in the classroom and hearing everything. Maybe this is why i am not as empathatic as i could be, no need for IC we all had it for years afterwards. Dear OW; May I asked what happened? I am in the US so forgive me if I am a bit unknowing regarding 3/13/1996. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Dear OW; May I asked what happened? I am in the US so forgive me if I am a bit unknowing regarding 3/13/1996. Google Dunblane and it'll come right up. Horrifying and I can only imagine what you went through TOW. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Google Dunblane and it'll come right up. Horrifying and I can only imagine what you went through TOW. Thanks Summer........ Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Thanks Anne it was the worst day of our lives, I clearly remember sitting in the classroom and hearing everything. Maybe this is why i am not as empathatic as i could be, no need for IC we all had it for years afterwards. I am so sorry OW. You have been through one of the worst tragedies life could offer. You ARE STRONG! Lost.......... Link to post Share on other sites
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