2Confuzed Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Apparently, my thread title was not exciting enough to get much of a response, so I'm trying again. I am curious to know how many OW got their MM? How many OW's MM actually divorced and are with you now? Are you as happy as you had imagined you would be? Do you feel all the feelings that people say you would feel, such as, being worried that he will do it to you? Link to post Share on other sites
fanou22 Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 I don't think I will ever be in this situation but I have read somewhere it is something like 20%? maybe less not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Diva Doris Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 I have been seeing a MM for 18 months now and we have been on this merry go round of trying to break it off but each time we end up together, and the feelings we have for one another becomes stronger and stronger. I know he loves me and he believes that I am his soul mate, vice versa. He knows he what he wants to do and what I want, but he cannot seem to leave his wife - may be due to the kids - he has been married to her for 18 years. Am I crazy to be holding onto this relationship? I'm a firm believer that you have to fight everything for something that you believe in, even if it means losing your dignity. The thought of him not being in my life scares me. I've heard all the lines of "he'll never do it. you cannot put your life on hold. if he really loved you he would have done something by now etc..." So am not quite sure what I am looking for - perhaps courage and the strength to either move on or to keep that faith alive. Link to post Share on other sites
1money3 Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 My have a friend who was messing with a MM for three years. He continously told her he was unhappy with his wife and wanted a divorced When he did file, his wife got a percentage of his retirement, alimony, child support, house, etc.... Well, you guessed it. He married the other woman who had a child (that was not his). 1. He felt sort of free because he basically did not have to take any responsibility for the child because it was not his. Before they were married, he pretended he loved the child. After they were married, he interacted with the child but not so as a loving parent would do. 2. The same problems he had with his wife was not resolved, therefore he brought similar issues into his marriage. 3. He started cheating on his new wife (his old OW). My best friend wondered why this was happening to her. Well, remember, you knew he was a cheater when you got involved with him. What makes you think you were so special??? Because he left his wife for you? Wrong! He knew his ex-wife would not tolerate the cheating and you would. Remember, you showed him what you thought about marriage when you got involved with him while he was still married to wife #1. So regardless how you think you are going to have this wonderful life with him and that he loved you enough to leave his wife, You are always going to wonderful will he do the same thing to me. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 I agree with you to a certain extent. I got my man. Yes the marriage was rocky at first and I left but now he will do anything in the world to get me back. He is going crazy cause I left him. I am not bragging. I am not boasting. I am telling you that the ow does not always lose the war. Sorry. it is just not true. Deion Saunders the football player is marriaged to his mistress now. They seem to be very happy. so... Originally posted by 1money3 My have a friend who was messing with a MM for three years. He continously told her he was unhappy with his wife and wanted a divorced When he did file, his wife got a percentage of his retirement, alimony, child support, house, etc.... Well, you guessed it. He married the other woman who had a child (that was not his). 1. He felt sort of free because he basically did not have to take any responsibility for the child because it was not his. Before they were married, he pretended he loved the child. After they were married, he interacted with the child but not so as a loving parent would do. 2. The same problems he had with his wife was not resolved, therefore he brought similar issues into his marriage. 3. He started cheating on his new wife (his old OW). My best friend wondered why this was happening to her. Well, remember, you knew he was a cheater when you got involved with him. What makes you think you were so special??? Because he left his wife for you? Wrong! He knew his ex-wife would not tolerate the cheating and you would. Remember, you showed him what you thought about marriage when you got involved with him while he was still married to wife #1. So regardless how you think you are going to have this wonderful life with him and that he loved you enough to leave his wife, You are always going to wonderful will he do the same thing to me. Link to post Share on other sites
1money3 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Do you know for a fact that he didn't not also beg first wife? Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I know for a fact that he did beg his first wife. What is your point? Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 My mom said once a cheater always a cheater................ Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 People change honey. Even men. Link to post Share on other sites
1money3 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Well. I'm assuming he probably wanted to stay with her but she didn't. So, since you were his second choice he decided to be with you. Obviously, he is doing something wrong if he had a wife and a OW and he begged both of them to stay. What is he doing wrong? Also most men can change, however if you married a man who knows you have no concept of with marriage is ( you cheated with a MM) then why would he change. He violated his vows with you! Neither one of you believe in marriage. But hey! don't get mad at me, you chose this life. When your husband or any other significant other cheats on you, remember you use to be an OW. Link to post Share on other sites
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