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In need of serious help


BasketBallHo89

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BasketBallHo89

Hey guys, I have a problem that i hope some of you can help me with. Whenever i try to talk to girls i can never think about anything to say. It's not like I stutter it's just that i honestly have NO idea what to talk about. I know the whole " Whats your favorite movie" and yadayadayada, but What do i say after that, to just converse on a daily basis? I can't just say " Whats your favorite movie every day can i?! Please someone help me out here!

 

 

Maybe someone can post some questions to get the convo started? I just really need some help, like i said i don't stutter i just draw a blank! I can't even prepare for it because i honestly don't know what to say.

 

 

Yours Truley,

 

BasketBallHo89

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DerangedAngel

How old are you? If you're still in school talk about your classes, teachers, assignments. Whatever. Find out what the girl is interested in and then go from there. Can you talk to guys? It's pretty much the same thing until you get to the point where you want to date the girl.

 

If these are just random girls, it's much harder to strike up a lengthy conversation.

 

Could you provide more information about where you're meeting them, please? Thanks.

 

Also, there's no need to double or triple post.

 

-DA

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BasketBallHo89

I'm 15 and I'm a sophomore in High School. I see the girls mainly in classes, or on the bus. I say hi, they say hi, then we just stand there for a few odd moments and then continue on. In general i just dont have really good carrying on convo skills. I'm more comfortable around guys so it's easier to talk' plus guys will sometimes start the conversation, then i can jump in on it. I just draw a blank of what to say after the standard "Hi, how are you?"

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DerangedAngel

As you can see, I'm a girl, but here are examples of some of the things I tried in highschool:

 

"Miss Whoever is a real bitch, isn't she?"

 

"Have you started on such and such assignment?"

 

"How did you do on the test on whatever?"

 

"How are you doing in your other classes?"

 

"Have you heard about some new band/game/movie/TV show?"

 

"Are you playing any sports this year?"

 

"I'm an idiot. Help me study." *

 

Basically, talk about anything that you can think of to find out how she feels about certain things/people until you can figure out what kind of things she is interested in. Then, talk about those things. Especially the ones you have in common.

 

*I think this one works much better if you're female. It would be cute coming from a guy, though.

 

-Deranged

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BasketBallHo89

Thank you for your advice, i'll try some of those on tuesday at school. I agree though, the last one is a bit corny for a guy :-P

 

 

But still one of my big problems is once i get done with those questions and such, should i just stop talking? Or will she likely be responsive and keep the convo going? Because after those i'm done. Will it just end up getting easier to talk to her?

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DerangedAngel
But still one of my big problems is once i get done with those questions and such, should i just stop talking? Or will she likely be responsive and keep the convo going?

 

Well, after she has answered your original question, she should either a). ask you a question or b). give you more information to come up with yet another question for her. This is the way basic conversation works.

 

Will it just end up getting easier to talk to her?

 

Yes. Definitely. You'll probably make several female friends this way and get to know what they like to talk about and just some stuff about their personal lives. After that, there's no stopping you. :)

 

Good luck on Tuesday.

 

-DA

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I always find that open ended questions are better, as they can lead onto more than a simple yes/no ending. For example, like you were saying about movies, "how did you find the movie" rather than "did you like the movie" etc.

Try to find some common ground, like school or work, something you know a fair bit about and are confident about talking about it is always good too.

Remember to be confident, I still have troube being confident around strangers, but the more you practise, the better you will get!

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Thats how I was BasketBallHo89. Just do this when you see a girl you like and want to talk to her - Be yourself...you can fumble your words and they will play along and help you out and when they do that you'll laugh and feel even more confident, be yourself and connect with the person. Look into her eyes, compliment her - say you think shes beautiful etc...talk about the weather....the news etc....if she wears a button of a dolphin talk about dolphins (lol find something you know shes into - a rock chick - talk about rock music etc)

Hope that helps. I now have the woman of my dreams, I wouldn't have if I hadn't said anythingto her, and began talking.

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All of this has been good advice. Something I might add is to make sure youre not too hard on yourself if you do feel you say something odd (which Im sure you wont). 15 is a hard age and it can be awkward talking to girls so just remember, youre not alone. I might also add to remember that shes just a person, just like you so you dont need to be intimidated or anything. Shes not going to laugh at you or make fun of you for trying to strike up a conversation (unless shes mean and you dont want her in that case anyway). Even if things dont go exactly right, she'll still more than likely be flattered by your attention. Just be yourself and remember that she might be as nervous as you are.

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Hey,

 

Tell her what you told us here! Just tell her that you don't know what to say and that it's hard for you. She'll understand (girls are like that!).

 

If you don't want to do that...then, look at her and say something about her (her hair color, her shirt, her teeth, her eyes, her nose, nose-rings, earings, hearing aids...and so on)

 

Let me knnow how it goes.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Originally posted by DerangedAngel

As you can see, I'm a girl, but here are examples of some of the things I tried in highschool:

 

"Miss Whoever is a real bitch, isn't she?"

 

"Have you started on such and such assignment?"

 

"How did you do on the test on whatever?"

 

"How are you doing in your other classes?"

 

"Have you heard about some new band/game/movie/TV show?"

 

"Are you playing any sports this year?"

 

"I'm an idiot. Help me study." *

 

Basically, talk about anything that you can think of to find out how she feels about certain things/people until you can figure out what kind of things she is interested in. Then, talk about those things. Especially the ones you have in common.

 

*I think this one works much better if you're female. It would be cute coming from a guy, though.

 

-Deranged

 

What DA said. Werd. Just don't pull the - "I'm an idiot. Help me study", after she finds out your standardized test scores. She'll see right through that. Haha...

 

Talking to a girl, or anyone else for that matter is... like writing a paper. Stay on topic for a while...

 

Hope it helps.

 

Later.

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