girlfriend in need.

[joseyposie]

my girlfriend has a problem. when her and her boyfriend have sex she closes her eyes to be in the moment. her boyfriend keeps the porno on while they have sex. well one day she opened her eyes and saw her boyfriend looking at the porno and having sex with her. she felt bad and felt he was having sex with the girl on the porno and not here is that true?

[uriel]

Well, people fantasize to porn in a couple of different mental modes. One mode is indeed to put themselves into the picture and imagine they are doing what's being done. Another is to think smutty thoughts about other people doing what's being done. Often, it's a little bit of both, yes?

 

So, yeah, it's likely he was imagining he was doing the girl in the porn movie. But he was also thinking about doing his own girlfriend at the same time. These aren't exclusive kinds of activities. And it isn't like a fantasy about another woman is going to lead him to cheat (most men and women have them when they're committed).

 

I don't understand why your friend would be so sensitive about this if she's allowing porn around during sex. Isn't porn about the objectification of the body and the act? It's not about some tender emotional connection to a woman. It's about getting animalistic for a time.

 

If your girlfriend wants to have a tender lovemaking moment where there's emotional and romantic stuff going on in bed, then I say turn the porn off and focus on each other. There's room in a relationship for both kinds of sexual interaction.

 

-- uriel

[meanbastard]

Let's be honest, it's you, NOT your "girlfriend."

[classic69gal]

tell your gf that she shouldn't have hurt feelings. that stems from a self-confidence issue. tell her to feel good about herself and to enjoy sex!