pinkie Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 So, at a get together... girlfriend walks in with boyfriend.. introduces him to everyone.. however, there's one chick there that he already knows.. so they're talking about where they used to work, blah blah blah.. then a few girls go outside and this girl makes a comment to the current girlfriend of the boyfriend.. "oh I've known him for years!" this raises a red flag to the girlfriend and she goes inside and whispers to her boyfriend, "did u used to date her?" The boyfriend says "a couple of times".... Ok, no big deal right? So they get home and the girlfriend asks the boyfriend if he would have disclosed the fact that he used to date that girl had she not asked... the boyfriend says no. Is it common for the men/women to not disclose previous flames, when/after seeing them at social events? Do you consider non-disclosure/withholding information lying? Obviously he told the truth when asked, but had the girlfriend NOT asked, he would not have told. Is there anything wrong with that in your opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 In this case, both answers probably wouldn't have been completely satisfying. If you brought it up, she wouldn't be thrilled that you brought up an ex and were socializing with her. If you didn't bring it up, she wouldn't be thrilled that you didn't mention it in the first place. It might've been more preferable to take note of it however. There's an old Zen joke that goes like this: There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither of which work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tethys Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 If he hadn't said anything after the party, or over the weekend, I think that would be a red flag that the guy isn't generally honest. But if it were me I might not saying anything right away because it might freak out said girlfriend or make things weird at the party. Link to post Share on other sites
ElderveElarse Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 тренинг по проведению презентацийа почему бы вам не научится этому? Link to post Share on other sites
Flier Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I would not be upset if you had never asked him about who he had dated before. Some people don't like to hear about everyone who their lover dated before. My last two guys did not. I am open and honest but found out that they did not want to know about past dates, because it bothered them to hear about it. Maybe he is like that as well, or maybe not. Good luck1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 So, at a get together... girlfriend walks in with boyfriend.. introduces him to everyone.. however, there's one chick there that he already knows.. so they're talking about where they used to work, blah blah blah.. then a few girls go outside and this girl makes a comment to the current girlfriend of the boyfriend.. "oh I've known him for years!" this raises a red flag to the girlfriend and she goes inside and whispers to her boyfriend, "did u used to date her?" The boyfriend says "a couple of times".... Ok, no big deal right? So they get home and the girlfriend asks the boyfriend if he would have disclosed the fact that he used to date that girl had she not asked... the boyfriend says no. Is it common for the men/women to not disclose previous flames, when/after seeing them at social events? Do you consider non-disclosure/withholding information lying? Obviously he told the truth when asked, but had the girlfriend NOT asked, he would not have told. Is there anything wrong with that in your opinion? I think the mature thing to do would be for him to tell you ahead of time - before attending the social event - that a woman he dated might be there and would it bother you. He should have given the current "gf" the ability to choose whether or not she wanted to attend. Omitting that information is disrespectful IMO. Letting her find out by accident is immature. Link to post Share on other sites
SensitiveTJ Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think the mature thing to do would be for him to tell you ahead of time - before attending the social event - that a woman he dated might be there and would it bother you. He should have given the current "gf" the ability to choose whether or not she wanted to attend. Omitting that information is disrespectful IMO. Letting her find out by accident is immature. I would agree with this perspective. Provided, of course, that the bf knew his ex would be in attendance. If not, I might be more upset at the event organizer. Link to post Share on other sites
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