why doesnt he miss me will he be back

[nab105]

my boyfriend broke up with about a month ago and for the first week I txted him to say Im sorry. he just told me it was over and thats that. I didnt contact him for about 2 and half weeks but heard nothing from him. Im so upset I really want to save our relationship because I love him so much. I thought he loved me.

 

I cant understand that after a year and a half together hes not missing me even if its a little I cant turn my feelings off over night I dont know how he does it. It makes me feel terrible like i meant nothing to him and losing me was no great loss.

 

I text him the other day because I was scared that if I leave it too long he might forget all about me and meet someone else. he hasnt replied to my texts. he has neverignored me before im devastated

 

Do you think he has forgotten all about me. and the reason hes not missing me is because he didnt love me. he wanted to move in with me not that long ago. Im his first girlfriend and im the only person he has slept with. im 24 hes 31 some people would think that he not that good looking but I think hes gorgeous and I love him with all my heart

 

its been a month if he was going to miss me he would have done already. I think hes replaced me with someone else. I must be quite horrible for someone to get over me that quickly when I thought he loved me. we broke up because of a row. I got a txt from a ex boyfriend and he thought I was up to something I truly have never cheated on him he just dumped me and never looked back

 

Im devastated and havent stopped crying I really thought I meant something to him

[Vie]

nab105,

 

 

I'm sorry that you hurt.. but I think there's nothing much you can do about it. It is obvious that he doesn't want to have anything to do with you again. Sorry to say.

It hurts and sucks.. but you also need to move on.

 

 

From your story, I think it's very shallow-minded of him to break up with you just because you had some text message from your ex. I think it's a bit childish as well, not to mention that he's 31 years old (Granted that maybe you're his first and everything, but don't you think that you should cherish it even more?). Things like this happen often, some people talk about it, some people just accuse the other of "cheating".

 

 

If he loves you as much as you do him, he would at least try to listen and work things out, especially since you two had been together for quite some time.

 

 

I can tell that you have a lot of love to give.. you just need to share it to the right one.

 

 

Move on, nab.. you deserve better and be strong.

[ECVegas]

I agree with Vie.

 

It's obvious that there was a trust issue there. You know more about it than us.

 

He hasn't forgotten about you--as it's only been a month since you broke up. But he is either trying to move on without you...or he already has with someone new.

 

Either way, hanging on like this isn't fair to yourself...or healthy.

 

Not that I'm saying it was cool for your ex to text you (and we have no idea what he said)---but If a mere text message was all it took for him to leave you....it doesn't sound like he's the type of guy that is strong enough to love. Maybe he has past relationship issues that he is dealing with and you were the brunt of this. But for him to leave you like that maybe a sign from above telling you something.

 

You need someone that is able to be open and communicate with you. Someone who can talk to you and let you know what's bothering them and is willing to figure out how to fix it. Not someone who bails out at the first sign of trouble.

 

Like Vie says, you are young...and you have a lot of love to give. Be honest to yourself...and to him...and be ready to move on. If he already knows how you feel, than there is nothing more you can do.

 

Be the chased, not the one chasing.

 

Good luck

[Jip]

Hey nab105,

 

Its like listening to myself this time last year. I had a very bad break up after two years and felt exactly like you did. We hadn't had a day without contact in all of our two years then bam!! Nothing, as if he'd forgotten about me! He was the one recieving text messages from a fit young blonde and although I wasn't happy about it - I stayed - it was he who left as he felt I didn't trust him. Funnily enough he's been seeing that very girl for over a year and although up until 6 months ago said he was still getting over our break up and didn't understrand what happened... he very rarely contacted me!

 

Anyway, what I'm getting at is I'm sure he does still think of you but the upshot is something changed in him, as with my ex, and he won't be able to figure his way back to how he felt even if he wanted to. Its probably the easiest thing to do to cut you dead no matter how hurtful. If they won't fight for what you have then to me, from where I am now one year on, that is a very telling sign. I still have my days of disbelief that something that was so right went so wrong and you will to.

 

I feel for you I really do... coming back on this website after so long brings back the agony. Confusion... feeling like your heart will break.. many many nights and days of tears!!

 

All I can say is time heals... you may not want to yet but at some point you will accept what has happened. I sometimes see my ex now - not that we speak as she won't let him... and I shrug my shoulders and get on with it. I can even smile at the wonderful memories now (as the bad stuff fades) and not cry. I am starting to see someone else... early days but who knows!

 

Sorry for rambling, all I can say is hang in there, he's obvioulsy moved on so you must too but do it in your own time and these feelings will pass as they must do. And hey the next guy ( I know you can't even comprehend that right now, I never could, some days still can't) will probably have to jump those barriers you'll put up but if he manages it you'll have a truly decent caring guy who's thinks the world of you!!!

 

Its horrible - its happened all you can do is keep your Chin up, take care and give it time.

[francis]

i know you may not believe this but he is doing you a favour, by not contacting you, he is being fair to you.

 

he's out of your life, it will take time but there are no mixed messages here, he's being straight with you, not leading you on, not keeping you dangling...

 

you will get over him a lot quicker this way, i promise.

 

i wish you all the best, be gentle with yourself, take it easy, deep breath and love yourself because you're fab! believe in yourself and stay strong.

[Beachgrl486]

I went through the same thing last year. I know it hurts. I hate to say it but the best thing is to just try your hardest to move on. It is one of the hardest things in the world to do. It will make you stronger. When I was in the same situation not too long ago and he was just acting like he didnt care and ignoring me and just being rude, he was seeing someone else. I was like how can he move on so quick. You will never know some people can do that. Even if he did want you back would you really want to be with someone who hurt you like this anyways? I would hope not. Look at it like you dont want him anyways..you are too good for him. He will miss you and when he does you will be so over him it wont even matter anymore.

[Okeydokey]

Honest, honest, honest I've been where you are. It hurts really bad. But I've realized a couple of things, and I hope this helps. Priority number one - your feelings. So, if it HELPS YOU to drive by his house to see if his car is there, to call him and to text him and to apologize until you've apologized for everything you can possibly think of that could have caused the break-up then DO IT. Most people will tell you not to do that, it will only drive him away more, etc. etc. My point is who cares if it drives him away more? It makes you feel better and that is what matters. So, if he is rude enough to not give a s**t about the break-up. Then the least you can do is bug the hell out of him and remind him all the time of your existence. It won't bring him back that is for sure - but it sounds like it is giving you some peace.

 

Eventually, after a certain period of time you will get bored of doing this and you will decide for yourself that you don't care anymore. (I did it for about 3 mos). At the end of your next relationship - you will realize, honest, that the stalking thing is kind of boring and you won't even have the energy to do it. You won't care enough. The reason that you feel like this now, is because he didn't really give you a satisfactory answer as to WHY he decided to call it quits. That is what is really frustrating. How are you supposed to learn from this relationship if you don't know what it was that each of you did wrong? Make up a reason for the break-up. Say, the reason we broke up is because he got sick of the fact that I nag too much, or I asked for too much of his time, or he couldnt handle a commitment. Then do a whole self-evaluation of what each of you did wrong in the relationship and determine that you will not make those mistakes again, and additionally when you recognize in your next partner those traits of his that you decided you could not tolerate then decide to call it quits immediately.

 

I have a couple of suggestions for you...

 

1. Read a post on this website from Feb. 14, "do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you?" written by No Foolin. It is great. It puts me in such a good mood - I feel great about the break-up and the single thing b/c of that post.

 

2. Enjoy being single again. Remember how you used to laugh and joke with your friends before you met him? And how you stopped b/c he is so controlling? Enjoy the fact that you don't have to report to anyone anymore and that your friends love you.

 

3. Tear up the pictures, delete the e-mails and throw away the cards.

 

You will be fine. My guess is he got scared of the commitment.

[Jeannie]

I've been thru it too - and I think it's interesting how we all want to drive by their house - even if it's just to see their car parked in the driveway or do things like this. I think it's because the end causes such a shock we want to hold on and find closeness just knowing "Are they home? Yep, car is parked in driveway - phew...". I had access to my ex's cell phone records. I tracked every call he made for months and found out he wasn't calling anyone but family. I just had to know who he was calling and it gave me comfort. I'm happy to say it's been 3 months now since I've pulled the Fatal Attraction manuevers - eventually I got over it all.

 

I still think about him - especially now with a hurricane headed directly towards my city but I think it's normal to miss someone you once loved. Doesn't mean I want to go back to him - I just sometimes miss him. I think we're all human.

 

I divorced my ex and then he came back after 4 months. He called me on a weekend night after I had a couple glasses of wine and I ran right back to him. Huge mistake. 8 months later he dumped me. I think he needed to dump me to get back at me for dumping him.

 

I just let him do it and I walked away without a fight. He wanted to be married and I couldn't deal with it at this stage in my life (due to other circumstances). He wanted to fill that void in his life of not having a wife - I wasn't 100% sure he wanted me or someone to fill that void and be June Cleaver.

 

He dumped me but I easily let go. He needed the ego boost so I gave it to him.

 

Consider when someone dumps you - they've done you a huge favor.