From a walk away wife. Husbands take note.

[whichwayisup]

I don't think you qualify is a walkaway wife.

 

I agree! You qualify as a smart woman who realizes that her marriage is not a real marriage and you deserve so much better.

[Koekie]

No, this thread is a little too hostile to men to make a difference. I like to put my advice to work where it may help. You gals just continue blaming men for the issue. I'm sure that will get it all settled before your daughter marry's one of us. Because you can't pick us out. We change as soon as we say "I do", remember.

 

Good luck.

 

This thread was posted about men who treat their wives coldly, cruelly and then get surprised when their wives want a divorce.

 

Maybe some men feel its their right to get unconditional love.

 

What advise would you offer it would be interesting to know? Do tell.

[Koekie]

Sorry. I should have read further before posting. Didn't realize this was a "YOU GO GIRL" thread. I thought we were going to try to fix a problem.

 

Sorry. I'll bail from your estrogen fix.

 

YES THIS IS MY GO GIRL THREAD. I blooming well deserve it. Do you think its easy walking away, feeling as if you were maybe just never cute, pretty or attractive enough? And why the hell would any man want to make his wife feel like that? Im in no way an insecure person and I am relatively attractive, but Im done wondering what is wrong with me. And Im done trying to fix it, whilst he kicks and resists my each and every effort. I am a very diplomatic person, I am very empathatic and I am emotionally very very smart and extremely resoursefull. Ive done my bit.

 

I am a good wife. I have supported my husband in each way he needed it. I have taken his coldness and given and given and tried. I am in no way clingy, demanding or overbearing. I have kept each and every promise to him. I ask nothing except a close bond and a caring marriage. And he seems determined to deny it. You can take a horse to water but you cant force it to drink. Thats all there is to it.

[Woggle]

Men here are projecting their own experiences. I know men who years after the divorce and much introspection still don't figure out what they did that was so wrong. They are loving and loyal husbands according to them and feel like they tossed in the trash.

[worldgonewrong]

I believe Koekie's grievances are legitimate, and I understand where she's coming from.

 

I think what gets some men reflexively riled up is that there's a sense sometimes that every woman will identify with Koekie's grievances, even if they don't have the right as their situation is different and they're actually throwing their husband under the bus. Hurting men worry about 'all women' jumping on a bandwagon, even if it's not their bandwagon to jump on.

 

But I want to emphasize, Koekie's thing is different; at least in my opinion.

[waterwoman]

Good lord koekie, this has really opened my eyes. H had an EA that ended back in June 2012. We've had MC and I've had IC and it helped but still, even now, after all the soul-baring I've done and all the things he's said, he still struggles to really listen to me, he finds it so hard to hear and respond when I'm hurting, he loves me most when I'm happy and up-beat - which I can't be all the time.

[Koekie]

Good lord koekie, this has really opened my eyes. H had an EA that ended back in June 2012. We've had MC and I've had IC and it helped but still, even now, after all the soul-baring I've done and all the things he's said, he still struggles to really listen to me, he finds it so hard to hear and respond when I'm hurting, he loves me most when I'm happy and up-beat - which I can't be all the time.

 

 

All we need when we feel hurt, is emotional support. A safe place with them to talk and share and be held. Thats really all. If they pull away, or get defensive they make you feel as if its not safe and you are unloved.