jerryinva Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 He told her last night that he loves her. When I asked her if she loved him, at first she said she didn’t know. Then she said she did, but she was scared. This seemed very familiar to me, as I remember on at least a couple of occasions her saying either she was in love with me, or falling in love with me, and that scared her. Of course, somehow after she would say that to me, be a day or a week, a fight would occur and “derail” those feelings. She is supposed to go out of town at the end of the month with him. She said she doesn’t know how fast things will progress, whether she will be ready for “the next step” in a week, or 6 weeks, or while they are out of town. I found it extremely hard to talk with her about this…I wanted to tell her how suspicious I was of his speed and timing, but I didn’t. She commented that she knew after just breaking up with her fiancé (which I found out happened 4th of July weekend), and given her previous mixed feelings for me, that the timing felt weird. In the end, I don’t think I helped her much… But yet she still wanted to fall alseep on the phone with me... So much for the Blaise Harris' book advice... Can't sleep.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 5, 2004 Author Share Posted September 5, 2004 Of course, I talked to my dad today, who is a little older, and wiser...he still thinks I am worrying about nothing. But he said good job on being an ear last night to her... that was what she needed, a friend, and although there may have been some rough spots in the conversation, she generally said I was sweet, and she knew I was doing my best to be her friend. Ironically, this has put me in the position of good guy, because the ex-fiance is being short, closed off, irritable, and there is a lot of tension between them. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 You are in the same spot as I am. We broke up 6 months ago and she still calls me and falls asleep on the phone with me every night. She doesnt fall asleep with any of her other friends but me. I look at this as a good thing and you should too. Give her time and see what comes about. The good guy rule only goes against you with some girls, not all. Be yourself and she will see it. She is very confused right now and you can be there for her when he isnt. Good luck and stay positive. Oh and one thing....when you talk to her she probably talks about her day and not yours....thats normal. Get in your day too so she knows that you are doing ok without her even though you arent. Perception is everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 5, 2004 Author Share Posted September 5, 2004 I agree about the falling asleep on the phone. I just fear the "I love you" proclamation by him yesterday, and her response. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 im just wondering how you people got to hold onto some even after a break-up. me, for multiple times now after a break-up, my x-gf doesnt wants any contact whatsoever... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 It depends on the ex. If the ex wants to continue contact...it makes the situation a little different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 Well...I did not hear from her on Sunday... so I think the no contact period has started... because I did not call her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 I am trying really hard to do things different this time. The last time she called me was at 2:45 Sunday morning... So it has been well over 24 hours since we spoke...and I have made no contact. It is making me anxious, and depressed...as this is my best friend...but I am hanging in there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 Nearly 36 hours....and no contact. Everyone tells me this is the best thing to do...most effective..why does it feel so bad? Link to post Share on other sites
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