KansasChica Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 My ex has been popping up more lately, which is frustrating. We don't talk... he was the dumper and coldly broke up with me a year ago (a week after telling me that I was the love of his life). I've definitely moved on a great deal- dated others, made new friends... but now I see him for what he is. I guess I wanted to believe for so long that deep down he was a good person, just confused. I tried to blame everything on his upbringing, his lack of a father-figure, his dependent personality, etc. etc. I worked on myself, went to therapy, tried to figure out what I had done wrong in combination with ways he devalued me (over text). I admitted I took him for granted- we had just fallen into an enmeshed, codependent rut. He popped back up months after he discarded me. Played with my emotions again, led me on, we slept together, and then he dropped me again; made it seem like I had misread all of his signals- even when he told me that he would always love me and that he didn't like to see me with other guys, etc. Now, I see how much of a victim he loves to play. Even his two closest friends (who were actually my close friends first) come to his aid any chance: they help him pick up women, they helped him find a new job, he lives with them and he's in his late 20's. He can do nothing for himself. AND they're jerks. They talk crap about everyone. Just the other afternoon, they were talking about me (in earshot distance). One of them hates me because he tried to ask me out AFTER he broke up with me and I turned him down. I know I'm going on kind of a rant right now, but it helps to type it out. I'm sick of making excuses for him. I'm sick of trying to defend him to friends, to try and be friendly despite his coldness; seeing him out and he pretending that he doesn't know me. He's a grown man, and yes, I did my part to ruin the relationship, but I'm not the horrible person that he/ and they paint me out to be. I was a loyal friend and a loving girlfriend. I'm sick of being the villain; the "crazy" ex who asked (once) for some closure and never contacted him again. Good luck. You are now just somebody that I used to know. You and your friends can hate me all you want. If that makes it easier for you... KC 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Absewarrior Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 KC: You dodged a bullet...go celebrate. AW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 There's nothing more I hate than being called "crazy ex" either, when all you've done is ask for closure! I've had dumpers do worse! I'm not sure what more to say when you really see them for what they really are. It's dissapointing. It sounds like you are so better off without these people no matter what. They must have boring lives if they're backstabbing you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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